Ruined (The Eternal Balance #1)(47)

He sank to the rug like a stone, head falling forward into his hands as another shudder went through him. I followed him down, urging his face up. “It’s okay,” I repeated.

“Killing those things did something to me. I’ve never killed another demon before. They gave me something extra. Something I don’t normally get from just kicking the shit out of a human.” He didn’t look away.

The torment in his expression was like a vise around my chest, squeezing all the air and leaving nothing but pain.

“It’s like the most amazing high,” he said, his eyes wide. “And I know it’s wrong, but it makes me feel like maybe I could… Just once…”

And he was on me. Warmth engulfed every inch of my body as his large frame covered me. His hands were everywhere. Calloused palms and needy fingers slipping beneath the hem of my shirt and into the waist of my jeans. Rough nails scraping bare skin hard enough to send a jolt of excitement, but not enough to draw blood.

Somewhere in the back of my mind I knew I should put an end to this, at least until things were squared away. But the memory of that earth-shattering kiss in the car earlier was too strong. I wanted to feel that way again. To capture the spark between us and lock it away, safe, from the mess that had taken over our lives.

A trail of volcanic kisses, from the base of my chin and down to my collarbone, stole the thought from my mind. There was so much passion. So much need. This was more than desire. This was a connection. Something we desperately needed right now.

“So perfect,” Jax mumbled into the hollow of my throat. The slightest pinch as his teeth grazed the skin, and I couldn’t help the small noise that escaped my lips. It was more surprise than anything else, but it froze Jax in place. A moment later, a chill rushed the room as I found myself alone on the floor.

He watched me for a second from across the room, the light from the window casting an eerie shadow across his face. In that moment he truly looked demonic. Demonic, but beautiful. Dark and dangerous and breakable all at the same time. “This is—shit. I have to leave.”

I jumped to my feet and crossed the room to where he stood, lingering at the base of the hallway. When he didn’t come closer, I reached for him. “Jax, wait.”

“You don’t know what you’re doing,” he growled. There was a flash of black before he closed his eyes. When he opened them, they were normal again.

I shoved him across the hall and into the adjacent wall. “I think I do.”

Slipping my fingers under the shoulders of his trench coat, I slid the heavy material off. It fell to the floor with an audible plop. Still, he tried to pull away. I wouldn’t let him.

Tracing patterns across his chest, the hard muscle beneath my fingers trembled, our skin separated by nothing more than thin cotton. With a groan, he wound his fingers, shaking with need, into the material of my shirt. His head tilted back against the wall, eyes closed, as his breath quickened.

“Don’t,” he hissed. But it was halfhearted. His hands were moving across my back, tugging at the fabric of my shirt, the conflict in his voice leaning toward acceptance. And finally, surrender. “Fuck…”

Jax’s fingers scraped against skin as he dragged me closer. A wave of need washed over me, and I held on tight, desperate for him to see this through. I brought my lips to his ear, begging softly, “Please don’t stop this time.”

He growled and tensed. “Don’t push me, Sammy. This isn’t what you want.”

His voice changed. Lower and laced with an edge of danger, it only made me want to nudge him more. We’d never gone this far and it was something I’d thought about nearly every day since that night in the woods. My lips rose with a defiant smile. “It’s exactly what I want.”

I pulled back and saw him break. Like a piece of glass shattering into a million tiny pieces. His stony resolve gone, he crushed his lips to mine again, but it wasn’t the same as before. It was harsh. Violent.

A second later he shoved me away and the sound that filled the air caused my heart to shudder.





Chapter Twenty-One




Jax

I ignored the demon and did my best to focus on Sam. She was standing in front of me, pale, as the waves of orange lust bled slowly into gray. The noise. It hadn’t come from her—it’d come from me.

Sam, whose beautiful, creamy white skin would look so lovely covered in red. Next came the images. Sam, lying broken and bloody on the floor. Her eyes wide open and unseeing. Stomach torn open. Legs bent at unnatural angles. No color rising from her still form. Only the cold, empty space of death.

“Jesus!” I stumbled back, trying to put more distance between us. Azirak didn’t argue. It didn’t want Sam dead anymore than I did. But it did want to feed. And showing me that gruesome scene with Sam as its star was enough to get me moving.

“Jax?” She reached for me, but I shoved her aside.

What the hell had I done? The goal was to stay away—not drown deeper. Reality came crashing down. I’d stayed, fueled by the energy I’d taken in from the demon kill. A single kiss. That’s all I’d planned. Just to taste her one last time. But the energy in my system was like a drug. Some supernatural narcotic that stole away my inhibitions and good sense. Add that to the fact that Sam was already a problem for me and it was a cluster-f*ck.