Ramsey Security (Ramsey Security #1-3)(51)

37


~~~

Darla

Utterly Owned

The day slips away. I feel the burden of my captivity lift off me whenever Troy is nearby. I almost forget Locke exists in the world. The threat of him lingers in my thoughts, though. I'm worrying again when I talk to Shelley later in the evening while Troy and Minka share security notes.

"I'm in love with Troy," I whisper into the phone as I hide in the bedroom.

"Are you sure?"

"What does that mean?"

"It's been an awful year, and he's handsome and protecting you. I just don't want you to read too much into what could be something different than you're thinking."

Pissed at her reaction, I say nothing for a minute. Finally, I sigh. "Is this because I asked why you loved Vern?"

Shelley laughs, startling me. "You were such a shit back then."

"Well, Vern's a..." I pause to choose my words carefully. "He's a complicated man."

"Yeah, complicated. I'm just not as shallow as you."

"I am shallow. Can't argue you about that."

"Does Troy love you?"

"I don't know."

"Have you asked?"

"No way. What if he says no?"

"What if he says yes?"

"I might even feel worse. I'm already overloaded with the pressure of getting up every day and acting normal. Adding his love could prove too much."

"Does he seem like he cares for you?"

"Yes."

Shelley is quiet for a long time. "Did you... Have you slept together?"

"Yes."

"Wow."

"What?"

"I just didn't think you'd ever have sex again."

"Me neither but my lust was too strong."

"He is very attractive."

"Yeah and he's patient at times. Pushy at others. Never mean, though. I'm still getting to know him, but I already love him."

The more I say the words aloud, the more real they feel. The more painful they feel too. He isn't a Vern-type man, living a safe life. Troy searches for trouble. I don't know if he could ever enjoy a life in Houston where he wasn't hunting or being hunted.

"What do you do now?" Shelley asks, and I hear John talking in the background.

"I don't know. A week ago, I was drugged up and wearing sweats in the heat. Now I'm conscious and having sex. I really don't think I'm the person to ask about what'll happen next week, let alone next month or year."

"True. Just enjoy what you have."

"Before he gets bored and dumps me, right? Is that what you mean?"

"Don't get pissy with me, Darla."

"Yes, Mom."

Sighing, Shelley tells her son to stop bugging her while she's on the phone. I don't blame John for wanting her attention. I miss being around Shelley too.

"They have Locke's real name," I tell her. "They're trying to find him. Soon things will settle down, and we can see each other again."

Shelley makes a strangled squeal. "Oh, Darla, why didn't you start the conversation with that info?"

"Because it's not a done deal, and I didn't want to get your hopes up like I just did."

"You'd be finally, truly free from that freak. We could find you somewhere more comfortable to live."

"The apartment is nice."

"It's not your style. Up high like that and in the loud city. It works for now, but I know it'll never be a home for you."

"You do know me," I say, crying suddenly. "I don't know why I'm upset."

"You're overwhelmed."

Wiping my eyes, I mumble, "I am. I haven't taken a tranquilizer in days. I feel really exposed in these new clothes too. Plus, I stood up to Doctor Parker, and now I'm feeling judged even though she didn't say anything negative to my face."

"I wish I could hug you right now."

"Blow off your responsibilities and drive here."

Shelley is quiet while trying to figure out if I'm serious. When she realizes I wouldn't expect her to bail on her kids, she sighs.

"Maybe Troy can hug you."

Still sniffling even though the crying is over, I think about Troy's arms around me. My dark mood immediately lightens.

"You think I'm an idiot for falling for Troy, don't you?"

"No. I think you're brave. However, I do think you're an idiot for giving me attitude. I ought to ground you."

Laughing, I miss my sister so much. She's been the center of my life for so long that I don't know what I'd do if I had to leave her again. What if Troy wants to leave Houston and asks me to go with him?

Panicking at a question that hasn't been asked, I begin crying again.

"Darla, you need to settle down and relax tonight."

"I sit around all day relaxing."

"I mean relax mentally and emotionally. You're pushing yourself hard lately. You need to take a breather from trying to change and simply enjoy what you've accomplished."

"If I don't push myself, aren't I being lazy and weak?"