Perfect for You(53)

“You dated him though. You’re still dating him, aren’t you?”

He doesn’t know? I thought everyone knew. “No. I ended it. He’s a nice guy and he really cares about me, but I couldn’t stay with him.”

“A nice guy?” Ash scoffs.

“I get that you don’t think so. I don’t blame you for that. Yes, he let me know he liked me when you and I were together, but he never kissed me or anything like that. And then after you and I broke up, he was there, being all sweet. I thought he could be good for me. I tried to love him. I tried to forget you, but I couldn’t.” The tears are streaming down my cheeks now, and everyone left in the lingering crowd is watching me. Watching us. But I don’t care. I have to get this out. “I love you, Ash. I’ll always love you.”

His face falls. “Meg, why are you telling me this? Why now?”

Not exactly the reaction I was hoping for, but it’s not a rejection. “Because I can’t keep it inside anymore. You deserve to know how I feel.”

“Why? Did you think if you told me you love me, I’d forget everything that happened and we could get back together? Be like we were before?” The hurt on his face crushes my heart, squeezes it like a lemon.

“No. I know I screwed up. I know I hurt you. But, Ash, that’s just it. I was screwed up. I let what happened with Derrick control me. I liked Noah’s attention because it made me feel better about myself. I was weak for allowing that to happen, but I’m not doing that anymore. I know what I did was wrong, and that’s not the person I want to be.”

Ash tosses his helmet on the bench. “You could’ve told me about Derrick. It would’ve saved us both a lot of hurt.” This is the difference between Ash and Noah. Ash wanted to know everything while we were dating. He wanted all of me, good and bad. Every emotion. Every memory. Noah only cared about the here and now.

“I’m sorry. I wanted to tell you. I almost did so many times. But I’m over it now. I’m me again. Only there’s no point in finally being able to move past Derrick and be okay if I can’t be with you. All I can think about are our trips to Horseshoe Lake and the way it feels when you kiss me. The way you can look at me and make me feel like I’m the only girl in the world.” My throat burns with tears. I’m pouring my heart out to him, yet by the look on his face I can see I’m losing him. I have to do something. I step toward him, reaching for his face.

“Meg, don’t.” He backs away again. “I can’t. Not now. This is a lot to take in. Too much. You can’t just kiss me and make it all better. It doesn’t work that way.”

Again, he’s not Noah. The fact that he wants to understand what happened only makes me love him more. But, at the same time, him pushing me away instead of wrapping his arms around me is tearing me apart inside. I can’t push him. Can’t force him to forgive me just like that. I need to be patient. “I understand. You need time.”

“I need—”

“Ash!” Liz runs onto the field with a huge smile on her face. She jumps into his arms, pressing her lips to his. My heart stops. They’re together again. I don’t know when that happened. Maybe at the pre-game party last night. But when doesn’t really matter. What matters is that I’m too late.

I turn and run off the field, trying to get as far away as possible before my tears consume me.





Chapter Twenty-Four


My feet pound on the grass. My legs are moving so fast I can’t stay in control of them. I fall, sobbing into the ground. Grayson catches up and wraps her arms around me.

“It’s okay, Meg. It’ll be okay.”

“Get me out of here,” I choke out. I can’t be here. I can’t be anywhere near Ash and Liz. If I see them again, see her lips pressed against his, my heart will explode.

Grayson pulls me to my feet, and we run to the car. She’s got the doors unlocked already, and we jump inside. I click my seat belt and lean my head back, letting the tears streak down my cheeks. Grayson screeches the tires as we speed out of the parking lot. She wants to drive around for a while, talk about what happened, try to help me figure out what went wrong, but I can’t relive that experience.

“Please, take me home. I just want to go home.”

Grayson gives in. She doesn’t say another word until we pull into my driveway. She cuts the engine and looks at me. “This is all my fault. I shouldn’t have made you talk to him. I feel like an idiot for not knowing he and Liz got back together.”

“Don’t.” I put my hand up. I can’t listen to this. It’s too much. “It’s not your fault. I want to be alone though, okay?”

She nods. “Sure. I’ll call you later.”

Mom and Dad are out. They had plans to go to some couples spa today. God, I’d give anything to be able to go to some fruity couples spa with Ash. Mom and Dad might be cheesy and all lovey dovey, but I’m completely jealous of their relationship. I had that with Ash. I lost it, and I have no chance of getting it back. Ash will be doing that kind of stuff with Liz now.

I run to my bed and bury my head in my pillow. I scream until my lungs ache. I cry until my throat and eyes burn. Then I stare at my ceiling for hours. Not moving. Finally, I get out of bed, needing to see Ash’s face. I grab my photo box from under my bed. It’s full of pictures of Ash and me. But not just pictures. My necklace. The garnet and diamond necklace Ash gave me for our five-month anniversary. I put it on and look at myself in the mirror. This is all I have left of him. Of us.