Perfect for You(52)

He looks up at her for a moment, but with his helmet on, I can’t tell if he’s smiling. He tilts his head in my direction before he takes his spot on the bench.

“What was that?” I ask Gray. “Did you see anything? A smile, anything?”

“No. Why isn’t he taking his helmet off?” Grayson shifts on the bleachers, trying to see Ash around the players getting water. “The game’s almost over. Why is he just sitting there?”

“Probably because his two crazy ex-girlfriends showed up.” The reality of the situation slams into me. “I need to get out of here. This was a mistake. He doesn’t want me here.”

“How do you know? He’s looked at you more than once.”

“Yeah, well he’s looked at Liz, too.”

Grayson takes my hand in hers. “Meg, I love you, but I’m not going to watch you go back to being a shell of yourself. You have to at least try. Tell him how you feel and let him decide from there. If it’s over, it’s over. You’re no worse off than you are now.”

Not true. “If I pour my heart out to him now, after everything, and he rejects me…” I shake my head, tears welling up in my eyes. “I’m not strong enough to handle that.”

Grayson stands up, looking at me like she’s never been more disappointed. There’s no evidence of my best friend anywhere. “Not strong enough?” She grabs my hand and pulls me across our row of bleachers and up to the right. I see Derrick, the one she’s bringing me to.

“Gray, no!” I try to pull away, but she has a death grip on my wrist.

“Yes! I’m sick of this. He has nothing on you.” She stops and turns so her face is in mine. “You’re letting him control you. End it. Now. Tell him what an ass he was. How he missed out on the amazing girl you are. Move past this. He doesn’t deserve to make you feel this bad.”

Derrick isn’t even aware of us standing six feet away from him. He’s oblivious. I’m nothing to him. I never was. I squint at him, hating him. But he doesn’t even deserve to be hated. That’s still caring too much about him. I’m nothing to him, and he should be the same to me.

I meet Grayson’s eyes. “Thanks, but I don’t want to talk to him.”

She shakes her head. “Meg—”

“No. It’s not what you think. He doesn’t deserve to hear what I have to say. He doesn’t deserve a single thought on my part. I’m done. Really done. He did miss out. It’s his loss. Not mine.” I mean it. I’m finally letting go of the hurt because Derrick isn’t worth it.

Gray hugs me to her. “I’ve missed you, you know.”

I pull away and smile at her. “I’ve missed me, too.”

“Ready to get the rest of you back?”

Ash. He does deserve my time. He should hear what I have to say. I owe him an apology. I owe him an explanation. My insides twist, and I feel like my breakfast is going to make another appearance. The final whistle blows, ending the game. I look up to see we’ve lost by seven. No one cheers. They stand up and walk off of the bleachers.

“Meg, come on. If we don’t hurry, he’s going to leave.” Gray pulls me down the bleachers, weaving in and out of the fans. “Excuse us!” she yells.

We reach the fence around the field, and I look for Ash. I see the back of his head by the water cooler. He hasn’t left yet.

“Wish me luck,” I say. Grayson smiles, and I climb over the fence. Some of the players give me looks. Jackson catches my eye and nudges Ash, motioning in my direction. I drop down onto the sideline and face Ash. He says something to Jackson, and Jackson jogs away.

My heart is pounding as I take a few steps. He waits until I’m only an arm’s length away before asking, “Meg, what are you doing here?”

God, it’s so good to hear his voice. To hear my name on his lips. My eyes linger on his face. His beautiful brown eyes, his full lips. “What I should’ve done a long time ago.” I take a deep breath. “Ash, I love you. I never stopped loving you. I thought you were cheating on me with Liz. I thought you were just like Derrick.” I close the distance between us, but he backs away, which makes me question if I’m doing the right thing.

“Derrick? That guy you slapped in the hallway?”

“Yes. We dated sophomore year. He broke up with me by making out with a freshman in front of my locker.”

Ash’s eyes widen in understanding. “That’s why you hate freshmen so much. Why you hated Liz from the moment you saw her.”

That and she turned out to be exactly like I thought she’d be. “I’m sorry I never told you, but what Derrick did destroyed me. I was humiliated, and I didn’t open up to a guy again until you came along. I knew I could trust you, and I was right. You were amazing, Ash. Perfect. But then Liz came around, and she was obviously into you. All those feelings came rushing back. I wasn’t seeing you anymore. I was seeing Derrick. Derrick and Stacy.”

“I never cheated on you. Liz liked me, yes. And I should’ve done a better job sending her away, but I was hurt that you were letting Noah hang around when he clearly liked you. I figured if it was okay for you to enjoy his attention, I could enjoy Liz’s.”

I can’t blame him for that. “I’m sorry about the thing with Noah. I had a crush on him before you and I got together, and when he showed an interest in me, well, it was like the younger version of me was holding on to the person I’d made him out to be.”