Lustly(20)

“You’re a good man and a great friend. Thank you.” I reached on my tippy toes and kissed Eli on his cheek. “I appreciate your honesty.”

As I pulled away our eyes locked, and I should have seen the intent in his eyes before he could react. Eli grabbed me by the arm and pulled me back into the filing room. I knew what was coming, and I couldn’t resist. Not this time. His lips were on mine as I was being pressed against the door. I didn’t fight his tongue when it entered my mouth, nor did I remove his hands that were gliding up underneath of my shirt. This wasn’t my husband that I’d promised to be faithful to forever, and yet I liked it. I craved it. I wanted to have his hands on every inch of my body.

After intensely kissing for a good few minutes, he pulled away and rested his lips gently over mine. “Sorry. I couldn’t help myself.” His hands lingered over my ribs, almost to where my bra line sat. “You’re so beautiful. I’ve wanted to do that for a long time.”

I had a choice to pull away, or to kiss him again. The angel and the demon were sitting on both of my shoulders as I weighed my options. In the scheme of things I think I wanted both revenge and satisfaction. I needed to feel the attention of someone that wanted me, who hadn’t been f*cking my friend for months behind my back.

My lips brushed over his so closely that I could feel his whiskers above. Fingertips reached the underwire to my bra and went underneath of it. He cupped both of my breasts in the palms of his hands, and I felt his thumbs sweeping over my nipples. A soft moan escaped me. With no regard for where we were I unfastened the button to his trousers and let my hand explore. Over his boxers I could feel his stiff erection. It made me hot between the legs, and I couldn’t remember feeling so excited to make out with a man. Our tongues mingled more as we mastered a technique. I loved how he moved his, both gentle and paced.

Eli pulled away and removed his hands. He looked right at me when he lifted my hand out of his pants. “You don’t want this, Lily. You’re not ready.”

“I didn’t stop you.”

“Yeah, that’s the problem. You don’t regret it now, but you will, and I don’t want that. You just got done telling me that you valued our friendship and I take you into the filing room. I’m sorry I don’t know where my manners are lately. You make me crazy, Lily. It doesn’t matter if you come in here wearing sweat pants with your hair up. All I see is beauty. I’ve had my fair share of fast women, but you’re not like them. You’re a real lady and I admire that about you. What’s happening in your life shouldn’t change you.”

“It won’t.” I wanted to continue kissing Eli, but he was certainly right. I needed time and I didn’t want to regret whatever was happening between us. “I agree with you on not taking this any further. I’m not going to lie and tell you that I don’t like you. I obviously do. It’s just…I’m still married to Charlie, and even though I know the relationship is over, we’re still together. I’m ashamed over it, but it’s my reality right now. In order to rectify the situation I’m going to do whatever it takes. You can worry about me if you choose. I can assure you that I won’t change. I won’t let this change me.”

Eli kissed me on the forehead and let his lips linger there. “Promise me that when this is all over with we’ll have that date.”

I looked up into his dark eyes. “Don’t forget I have three teenagers at home. You dating me means that you’d have to be able to deal with them too.”

He smiled and caressed my cheeks with his thumbs. “I like kids.”

It gave me butterflies to hear him say that. Eli was too good to be true, and I was going to have to distance myself from him if I wanted to be able to make it out of this situation in one piece. “I have to get going.”

I stole one more kiss from his sweet lips before pulling away and turning to leave. He grabbed my hand forcing me to stop. “Lily, if you’re in trouble let me help you.”

“I can’t be in your debt, Eli. I’m not in trouble. I’m just weighing my options, that’s all.”

He watched me leave, which made me more uncomfortable. I wanted to walk out of there with my head held high, determined to do whatever it took to get out of my situation. Instead I had doubt that I’d ever be able to do what needed to be done.





Chapter 5


The drive to Ms. Cybil’s house was even worse for my conscience. I wanted to be able to say that I could handle anything; that I could do what needed to be done for the sake of my future, but now I wasn’t too sure. I’d been with three people my whole life, and two of them were in school, so it wasn’t like I learned much of anything on the subject. My husband had been the only man I’d been with for over seventeen years. Imagining sleeping with a stranger and not knowing things was even worse.

Before I could turn around and forget I ever made the phone call, the gates were opening, welcoming me on the estate. I pulled up in the lavish driveway and parked my minivan behind a Porsche. When I clicked on the lock button on the vehicle I laughed out loud, imagining someone wanting anything from my mom-mobile, when something extravagant sat right next to it.

Yeah, definitely pathetic.

Ms. Cybil met me at the door and grabbed my hand. “I wasn’t sure you’d show up.”