Lustly(19)

I suppose I could have been a real bitch and told them the truth about their good ole dad. Surely showing them a few of the pictures of him and Kate in bed would suffice, but I wasn’t that kind of mother. My job was to protect them, and I was determined to do so, no matter how much it hurt me to do.



I pulled up at my attorney’s office and shut off my vehicle. As depressed as I was, I knew I needed to keep busy. Since I’d already called out of my waitressing job Eli’s office was the only other place I could go.

I walked past the two front desk clerks after saying hello, and entered into the filing room. Once the door was shut I buried my face into my hands and began to sob. My life was in ruins and the culprit of it all didn’t even have the balls to tell me the truth.

I don’t know how long I was in there, but the door creaked open slowly and I saw Eli standing there. “I thought you weren’t coming in.”

I wiped my tears as I spoke. “Yeah, I needed to get out of that house.”

“That bad?” He put his strong arms at the top of the doorframe and leaned in. “You want to talk about it?”

“Not really.” I tried to smile, thankful that I had a friend like Eli in my life to talk to. Sure, he’d asked me out a couple of times, and been very open about his interest in me, but never tried to push it. “I suppose I’m a glutton for punishment. Who else in their right mind would still be living with him?”

Eli approached me and pulled me into his arms. It was the first time we’d touched on a personal level. I should have pulled away, but having him comfort me felt so good after feeling alone. “You’re a strong woman, but I’d never tell you that you deserve to be treated that way, Lily. No person deserves that.”

I looked up at Eli and for a moment all I could see was his handsome face, and those dark eyes looking back at me. I pulled out of his hold and looked away, unable to accept that the feeling of interest was mutual. He could never know that if things were different I’d love to go out with him on a date and see where things took us. I would never be able to tell him that when I was alone at night I pictured what it would be like to make love to him. He was so successful, and I wanted to know more about him. I just wasn’t in the right place to do it.

“If you change your mind, about talking, I’m just down the hall. My last two appointments rescheduled. I’ll be doing paperwork for a couple court cases.”

“Thanks, Eli. I’m just going to work for a bit and probably go home. It’s not like I have many other options these days.”

He tapped on the door and then smiled. “You do have other options you’re just not ready to take them yet.”

If I asked him to come in and close the door, would he have done it?

I needed to calm down.

After filing for a while, and feeling sorry for myself, I grabbed my purse and decided that I had to face the music. Charlie was there waiting for me, and I had to at least pretend to make an effort. My mind was made up though. I was leaving him, sooner than later.

I’d just grabbed my purse when the strap snapped and everything in it went falling to the floor. While on my knees, shoving everything back inside, I picked up Ms. Cybil’s business card. With no regard for what I was actually doing, I dialed her number right then and there.

“Lily, my dear, are you going to hang up this time, or actually speak?”

I rolled my eyes realizing she knew I’d called before and chickened out. She knew my cell number, and I hadn’t given it to her. “I want to meet. Are you free now?”

“May I ask why you’re so eager to meet?”

Already I was regretting the phone call, knowing she was going to give me that ‘told you so’ look. I knew my decisions weren’t what others would do, but they worked for me, at least until I could figure something else out. “I’d rather not discuss it.”

“I’ll be home in a half hour. Meet me there.”

She hung up the phone before I could reply. Though I found it rude, a dismissal wasn’t necessary. I was either going to show up or not.

Eli caught me on my way out. He grabbed at my arm the way that Charlie had, except I didn’t jerk away from him. “You weren’t going to say goodbye?”

“I have an appointment I forgot about.”

“Am I overstepping the friend boundaries if I ask where?”

“Probably.” Maybe I should have felt like he was prying, but Eli wasn’t that type of person. He’d genuinely helped me out without anything in return. His asking me out had never made me feel awkward. We got along great, so it was only natural for him to be curious. “If I tell you that I’m okay will you feel better?”

“Is it the truth?”

I sighed and then put on my very best smile. “Yes. I am going to be fine.”

Eli lifted his hand as if he were going to touch my face. Instinctively I closed my eyes, and waited to feel his kind gesture, but it never happened.

I opened my eyes to see him looking down. “Lily, I’ve got to be honest with you. I can’t watch you suffer like this. You’re miserable and your kids wouldn’t want that, no matter what you think. I’m not saying this because I want to date you. I mean, yes, I would like to take you out, but this has nothing to do with that. In the couple months that we’ve known each other I’ve listened to how miserable you are. I know you’re hurt and you’re scared. There is no good solution to all of this. The shit has to get worse before it can get better. Trust me, I know.”