Lustly(22)

I sat quietly for a moment and thought about everything she’d said. While considering any other options I could take I heard something mechanical running. A few seconds passed and I heard the sound again.

“That’s one of my children. We have dinner once a week. They usually pull in the garage, and unfortunately this office is next to it.”

I stood up, not wanting to keep her from her kids. “I’ll just be going then.”

She stood with me. “Lily, don’t worry yourself too much over this. If you don’t want to do it no one will ever bother you. It’s your decision.”

I looked her right in the eyes and thought about all of the things she had. I didn’t want to be rich, but I certainly wanted to be able to provide for my kids. If I could have only one client for a couple hours out of the week it would bring in a grand. I could do a lot with four thousand bucks a month and I’d also be able to be there for every soccer game, wrestling match, or whatever my kids needed. No matter how hard it was going to be at first, I was going to try it. Just like Cybil said, it was only sex. “I’ll do it. When can we get started with the blood tests and physical?”

“You can get the physical done with your regular doctor.” She walked over to a cabinet and pulled out some more paperwork. “Give this to them and have them fax the results to the number on the back.”

I looked down at the paperwork and noticed it was a life-insurance company. “Life insurance?” Seriously, she was Wonder Woman.

“I offer my girls life-insurance as well as health. It also covers the constant blood tests.”

“You’ve thought of everything.”

“I’ve been doing this for a long time. Schedule your appointment and when I get the results I’ll call you about the two sessions.”

“Can we do them soon?”

She laughed. “I know you’re wanting out of your situation. As soon as I hear from the doctors I will contact you. Doing two sessions in one day may be difficult for you, especially if you have complications in the first.”

As afraid as I was, I knew if I stayed determined then I wouldn’t change my mind. “Okay. I’ll call the doctor as soon as I leave here.”

She reached for my hand and held it as she spoke. “I look forward to hearing from you, dear.”

I’m not going to lie and say that I didn’t cry on the way home. It was devastating to me to know that my life had come to this. After so many years of being faithful and honest to my husband, he’d destroyed me. I had to go through with this because I had to be able to provide for my kids. Sure, Charlie would be required to pay child support, but I wanted to do it on my own, without his handouts. Hopefully he and Kate would both lose their jobs and become bums on the street, panhandling for their next meals and a bottle of cheap rum. Imagining that made me smile.

On the way home I also thought about Eli, and how kissing him made me feel things that I hadn’t felt in a long time. I could only imagine what sleeping with him would be like. Then I thought about dating him. The idea of secretly being a whore made me cringe again. He’d never want to be with a woman like that.

As much as I wanted to know more about Eli I had to put my kids first. Dating was not something I was going to be able to do for a very long time.

When I got home Charlie was pulling up outside with the car full of our children. I greeted the kids, but never made eye contact with their father. He could sit around and mope until the cows came home. That f*ck earlier was the last he was ever going to get.

We made it until after dinner before I looked at him, and even later in the evening before I could say anything. Thankfully he waited until the kids were asleep to address our situation. I’d just gotten out of the shower, where I thought about touching myself and then about Eli, and walked into the bedroom to dress.

I could feel his cheating eyes watching me as I pulled on a pair of underwear and nightgown. “Are you going to say anything?”

I climbed into the bed next to him. “I have nothing to say to you.”

“Lil, I know I hurt you, but -.”

“But what? I need time Charlie. I can’t just forgive you and move on like it never happened.”

“It was a long time ago.”

I faced him. “Really, because it feels like it was today. Seriously, unless you want to sleep on the damn couch I suggest you shut the hell up and leave me alone.”

I rolled over and covered myself up.

“Where did you go today?”

“I drove my van to a parking lot and cried all day. Are you happy now?” I wanted to smile in an evil way, knowing that it wasn’t where I’d gone. Telling him that I secretly made out with my divorce lawyer wasn’t really how I wanted to answer either.

“I’m so sorry I hurt you, Lil.”

“Goodnight, Charlie.”





Chapter 6


That next morning Charlie went back to the office. He tried to kiss me goodbye, but I rolled over to avoid it. He knew I was hurt and pissed, regardless of what truth I knew.

As soon as he and the kids were gone I’d called my doctor’s office. Since I agreed to see the nurse practitioner they squeezed me in the same day. Two hours later I left the office and headed right to the diner. Before walking inside I got a text message from Eli. I knew it was him because I’d put his name as Eliza, in case the kids or my husband saw it. I knew I was getting as bad as Charlie, but he’d done the damage to our marriage, not me.