Love Survives (Love's Suicide #2)(22)

My brother just stood there, searching for something he could say that would bring me down. He looked away as he replied. “She feels sorry for you. That’s why you’re here. Kat’s like that. We’re the only family she has left. She thinks of you like a brother and nothing more. You’re fooling yourself if you thought you could come back here and be friends again. If she only knew what you did to her. You should be in jail.”

“She wouldn’t do that to me,” I whispered under my breath.

“Oh really? You think she’d ever forgive you?” He shook his head and began to chuckle. “Just remember who she’s marrying, brother. You weren’t her first choice. You lost. Say whatever you want, but I never had to sneak my way into her bed.”

It took everything in me to not plummet my brother to the ground. It was a low blow, one that I’d lived with since the first night I’d been intimate with Kat. He’d taken what I’d done and used it as a weapon against me, knowing there was nothing I could say or do to defend my actions. He had every right to be angry with me, but at the end of the day he was correct. She’d chosen him, and I couldn’t change that.

“Get out of my room!” I gritted my teeth and clenched my fists as I said it.

Branch stood with the door half-open. “If you can’t act right don’t bother coming downstairs later. It’s going to be hard enough pretending that I like you during the service. I’d hate to have to strain myself this early on.”

When the door shut I buried my face into my hands. This couldn’t be happening already. This mess was mine to clean up, but I didn’t even know how to begin making it happen, not when I knew she was the only reason I was there in the first place.





Chapter 11


My father rapped on the door until I answered. Dressed casually, he placed his hands in his pockets, like he frequently did. “Everyone is meeting downstairs for cocktails. Do you think you might want to join us? I’d hate for you to spend your whole visit alone in this room.”

I leaned on the door frame. “Yeah, well I’m better off steering clear of Branch. He hates having to put on a show when I’m around.”

“I’m not going to take no for an answer.”

I hated disappointing my dad, so I realized I didn’t have much of a choice. I slipped on a pair of shoes and followed him down to the lounge, where I found everyone there except for Kat. Since I knew I couldn’t ask about her, or make it obvious that I was scanning the area to locate where she was hiding, I ordered a drink.

Melissa approached me immediately. It was obvious this girl was going to be a thorn in my side; one that I could use to distract everyone from the fact that I was infatuated with being close to Kat. “What will you be drinking tonight, Brooks?”

I stepped up to the bar. “A draft beer is fine. I’m taking it easy tonight. We’ve got a big day tomorrow.” I looked at my brother and nodded.

He raised his brows, giving a sarcastic smirk then downed a shot. Without making it obvious, I turned my attention back to Melissa. She sipped her drink through her straw while staring at me. Since I was still wondering where Kat was, I decided to walk toward my parents, until I saw her coming into the room. Then everything around me stopped. As excited as I was it was important not to make a scene.

We all sat down at a nearby table. When Melissa and Branch stood back up to get drinks for everyone, I couldn’t help but lean over and speak. “Are you feeling better?”

I could tell she was looking around to see who was watching. “Yes, thanks.”

“Nerves got the best of you, I assume.” As I said it I stared at the television as if I wasn’t paying attention to her.

For a while everyone chatted about mundane things, mostly the guests that were coming to the event. I kept my focus off of Kat, but didn’t check to see if my brother was watching my back. By the time our seats were ready for dinner, I was starting to unwind. I’d had a few beers, and the focus turned to an interest in what I’d been through so far in the military.

“Are you nervous about being deployed?” Melissa asked.

I shrugged and played with the rim of my glass. “Not really. I’m as prepared as I’ll ever be, I suppose. I mean, it’s nothing you can be one-hundred percent sure of.”

“I don’t know why someone would ever sign up to risk their lives. It’s so dangerous.” Her response made me feel tough.

I swished my beer around. “I’m proud of my choices,” I lied. Sure, I was happy how I’d been brave, but walking away from Kat was definitely not something I’d ever forgive myself for.

“Our son has dedicated himself to serving this beautiful country. That’s something to be proud of.” My father was the first to make me feel at ease.

“Dad, as much as I appreciate that, I’ve been taught to fend my own battles. Now, as far as going overseas, I’ll take it day by day. We have one life, and I plan on making the best of it. It’s my job, and I take pride in that.”

“What was it like at first?” Kat asked. “When you left for basic was it difficult? I don’t think I ever asked.”

I wished I could tell her that my struggles weren’t because of joining the military. What I fought daily with was the decision to walk away from not only my family, but most of all from her. It didn’t matter that she was with Branch. I should have stayed, because just maybe they wouldn’t be tying the knot, putting me through more pain and suffering. “It wasn’t all that bad. I was learning something new every day. I made a couple friends, and we leaned on each other when times got tough. I’ll never forget the first week when we all had to get our haircuts. There was this guy who kept making fun of people with weird shaped heads. Well, let me just tell you, as soon as they shaved the first half of his scalp it was like looking at an egg. From that moment on he was known as Humpty. I guess you had to be there to get the full gist of it.”