Frigid Affair(42)

“I think I want to date you.”

I leaned on my elbow and traced one finger over his left nipple. “That’s so weird.”

“I’m being serious. We’re obviously attracted to each other. We have a lot in common. We have a kid together. We’re also the only human beings for miles. What’s stopping us?”

“For starters, a past we can’t get over.”

“What if we can? Amantha, I’m here for the next few months. Let’s make the most of it. Stay with me, here in this house. Let me get to know my son. Let me prove I can be someone you can count on. When spring comes along you can decide where you want this to go. If you want space I’ll give it to you. If we have to share custody and keep our distance we’ll figure it out. I’m just asking for some of your time. If you say yes it means we can keep doing this together. I don’t know about you, but you’re addicting.”

I smiled and buried my head against his warm skin. “Okay.” It wasn’t a hard decision. My cabin was getting too small and Jensen had every right to know Christopher. There was no sense in me dragging him up and down the hill every day. This house had plenty of room and I knew Bob and Eve would be fine with it. They’d offered it to me in the past whenever I needed it. “I’ll agree to your terms. No promises. We’ll be ourselves and see where it takes the three of us.”

He kissed me lightly on the nose. “Say that again for me.”

“What? The three of us?”

He smiled. “I’m going to make this work.”

“I want you to know, even if I’m not a part of it, you’ll never be alone again. Neither of us will.”

“That might be the best thing I have ever heard someone say to me.”

I could tell how much it meant when he pulled me closer. For now I was content with this situation, but much like Jensen I knew how life could take unexpected turns without notice. I had to keep my guard up, because it was the only way I’d ever be able to handle another devastating loss.





Chapter 18


Anyone who doesn’t believe the world works in mysterious ways has never lived a day in my shoes. Robbed from a life we both deserved, there was now something to hold on to. I wanted to believe that, because without hope there was nothing left. Regression was a bitch, and I for one was tired of dwelling in it.

After staying up half the night reconnecting with Jensen, I woke up in the master bedroom wrapped in a down comforter. I knew I was completely naked underneath the covers and thinking about how I’d gotten that way sent chills throughout my body. I turned over to see him sleeping only to discover he wasn’t there. I gathered the blanket and walked toward the bedroom door, opening it to see if I could spot him. He had Christopher on the couch and was attempting to change his diaper.

I wanted to laugh when I saw him holding up the fabric in the air to see if there was a right or wrong way to manage it. I didn’t want to think how he’d end up attaching it to the rambunctious child. “It looks like you could use some help.” As soon as Christopher heard me he rolled off the sofa and came running in my direction, stark naked. Jensen shook his head and watched the little guy grab onto the blanket and attempt to climb up it. I crouched down to be eye level with him. “You need to go get dressed, buddy.”

“No.” Being defiant was a game to him. He stopped what he was doing and ran in another direction, hiding behind the large kitchen island.

I shrugged when I looked over at Jensen again, paying no mind to what he must be thinking about the things we’d done just hours before. “This could go on for hours. He hates being clothed.”

“Does he take after his mother?” He asked with sarcasm.

“A girl can’t tell all her secrets at once.”

All of the sudden his ornery grimace became more serious. “I meant what I said last night. I know we’re still strangers in the big picture of things. Maybe we’re the most messed up image of what a family should be, but that’s what we are. When I’m around you, and we’re not arguing about the could have beens, nothing else matters. I want us to try to stay together, before we make the decision to do this apart.”

I wasn’t in any condition to argue with him, having no clothes on and our past actions so fresh in my mind. “Okay.” I had to admit that the idea of having someone in my life was exciting. For a long time I assumed my vagina would grow cobwebs and forget how to work. Not only did I have a man who wanted to be with me, but he was downright handsome and kind. I thought back to the first time we met and how he’d acted when he thought I was injured. He genuinely cared for me. He wanted me to live. It gave me a sense of security. Jensen wasn’t perfect, but I knew he’d do whatever it took to protect me and Christopher. This was the type of guy my parents would have been proud to have at the dinner table. He was also the opposite of what I would have gone for in my previous life. Instead of giving him a straight answer I decided to make it like a game. “Tonight I’m going to cook one of my father’s favorite meals for you. Did you happen to bring groceries up here with you, or have you been using what was in the cabinets?”

“I brought a ton of canned goods. I picked up twenty pounds of chicken, ten of pork, and fifteen pounds of beef. I had no idea how much I would need for six months, so I let them tell me when I went to the butcher. By the way, it’s pretty darn expensive.”