Frigid Affair(43)

“That’s why most Alaskans hunt for their meat. Do you think the snow will stop today?”

“I’m not real sure. The satellite has been out since you got here. I can’t get a signal to check the weather from my phone.”

“I’m going to need some venison from my cabin. If we can’t get it there won’t be a fancy dinner.”

He checked on the still hiding child, walking around and spotting him before he took off down the hall toward Jensen’s bedroom. I giggled and then heard him starting to speak. “If we can’t get there, I’ll prepare something. I know I said I bought lots of soup, but I used to cook during my shifts at the fire department. My grandmother was Italian, so I can pretty much make anything with a sauce.”

“I usually eat spaghetti out of a can and call that my Italian meal for the week.”

He shook his head. “Yeah, I’m definitely cooking tonight.” I watched as he broke the distance between us, walking me backwards into the bedroom. He didn’t stop until I felt the mattress forcing me to fall back on it. Jensen hovered over me, his strong arms flexed on either side of my shoulders. With his eyes fixed on mine, he lowered his mouth and brushed his lips over my cheek. His voice was soft as it spoke in my ear. “I never expected this, Amantha. When I woke up this morning and saw you lying beside me I felt like the luckiest man alive. Not a day has gone by where I didn’t think of you. To be here, and know what we made together, to be able to be a part of it, well it’s like a dream come true. Thank you for being his mother. You could have aborted and never told me about it, but you didn’t. I’m forever in your debt.”

“Don’t thank me yet. I’m sure you’ll get tired of us.”

“That’s not possible. You see, I’ve been searching for a new start for the past four years, and now I know why I never found it.”

“Why?” I asked even though I knew the answer.

“Because you were right here the whole time.”

I traced my fingers over his lips as I spoke. “What if you decide you hate me?”

“I suppose the makeup sex will get even better. I don’t know about you, but there’s nothing left for me anywhere else. Sure, I have siblings, but they have their own lives. They’re all settled. None of them want their broken brother hanging around moping. That’s just it. It’s how I know. When I’m with you I forget it all. I don’t hurt. Christopher is my new reason for living, but you’re the icing on the cake.”

I giggled. “Icing? You make me sound appetizing.”

“Darlin’, I could spend the whole damn day between your legs and it still wouldn’t be enough to get my fix.”

“Be careful with your words, Jensen. I might have to fall in love with you.” I meant it as a joke, but I could tell from his expression I wasn’t too far from the truth.

He fell onto the bed next to me and stared at the ceiling while rubbing his hands over his face. Little feet let me know our naked child was somewhere in the room with us, hopefully not peeing in a corner.

“That word haunts me.”

I leaned on my elbow and faced him. “It’s only natural to assume it could happen. We made a child together. There are much more crazy things that have happened Don’t you think?”

He finally turned to face me. “Amantha, I’m not afraid of loving you. I’m afraid of losing you if it happens.”

It made sense. He’d loved Alice with his whole heart and she’d ripped him to shreds, leaving him half the man he once was. It was only natural for him to assume if he opened his heart he’d get burned again. I didn’t know how to reassure him, since we were building something off of uncertainties to begin with. “I can’t promise you forever, but I guarantee right now. I think if we just go with it instead of worrying about society’s rules it will be better for us. I’ve never been one to follow the rules anyway. Besides, who says we can’t do this in the wrong order? I happen to like sleeping with you. Now that I’m over the bitchiness, I can appreciate what’s right in front of me. I’m tired of being alone, Jensen. I’m not saying I’m here because you are the only man who came looking. I don’t really know how this all came to be, but I wouldn’t trade it.” Just as I said it I heard a stream of liquid hitting something solid. I rolled my eyes and turned to see Christopher holding his little package and peeing his own puddle in the middle of hardwood floor.

Jensen sat up and went to tend to him. “I’ve got this. Why don’t you go take a shower and meet us in the kitchen. We’re having pancakes instead of slop for breakfast this morning.”

I shook my head and watched him crouched down to scold Christopher. “Hey, little guy. You can’t pee on the floor.” He took him by the hand. “Come on. I’m going to show you where the big boys pee.” When they left the room I remained in the same position. I’d have to clean up the soiled spot at some point, but what was more important was formally introducing my son to the only man he’d call Daddy.





Chapter 19


I have to admit, it was hard to adjust to family life again. I’d been a one woman show for quite a while before Christopher came along, and I guess since I didn’t have a choice with him it was easier to change my daily routines to cater to him. Living in the same house as Jensen was difficult, not because he’d done things wrong, but more because I knew if I fell in love with the idea it was possible for it all to be taken away.