Bereft (Seven Year Itch #2)(37)

I could tell he wasn’t thrilled with my decision, not that I gave a shit. My give a damn had been broken since he screwed Kyla.

“I told Stephanie,” he managed to get out before I could close the bathroom door. “She knows what I did, and who I did it with. She refuses to speak to me.”

I came back into the room and stared at him, shocked he’d told our daughter about his affair. “What happened? Did she freak out?”

He began to sob, and in an immediate response I leaned over and touched his shoulder. “She hates me. I’m sure of it. How could I have been so stupid? How could I make such a horrible mistake?”

“Steph loves you, Grayson. I’m sure she’s upset. It’s not every day your father sleeps with your best friend behind your back. She’s in shock. Can you blame her?”

He shook his head. “No. I don’t blame her. I just want my family back. Every day it feels like we’re falling apart more. I keep hoping time will heal us, but what if it doesn’t? What if I’ve lost both of you?”

“I can’t speak for our daughter. What you did destroyed me, but I’m not bitter. Even if we don’t get back together, I won’t hate you. I may be angry, but you will always be important to me.”

He clung to me for a second while weeping. I felt so bad for him, but at the same time I knew if I stayed I’d cave and never forgive myself. This was no longer about teaching Grayson a lesson. He’d been hurt, and I wasn’t into rubbing it in his face. I needed space for myself. I needed to know I could forgive him ,because if I couldn’t there was no reason to try. “Please don’t leave me, Rachel. I’ll do anything. I’ll go to counseling. I’ll go to meetings for sex addiction. I’ll do whatever it takes.”

“I appreciate that. Let’s try this first.”

He wouldn’t answer me. I let him hold me for a few more minutes before locking myself in the bathroom. I sank to the shower floor and broke down, silently letting my tears wash away. This was too difficult. All of it. I wanted a mulligan, but would settle for a Xanax.

I took my time in the bathroom hoping he’d not be in bed when I came out. I wasn’t surprised to find him gone, but could hear he was still downstairs. The sound of the television let me know he was in the living room. I dressed quickly, making sure I had everything I needed for at least a week away from home. I had every intention of looking for a place to rent. For the time being, I’d check into a hotel close to the office. It would save me on transportation costs while I found something suitable.

Carrying my bags past Grayson was difficult. He sat on the couch watching me, but never offered to help. I guess in his own way it was like a slap in the face. He wouldn’t assist me in leaving him.

He was still a wreck when I finally said goodbye. I considered hugging him, but knew it would make matters way worse. Once I pulled out of the garage and onto the road a rush of relief hit me. Even though I knew Grayson was suffering, I was happy to be away from it. I couldn’t let his emotions guide me to make quick decisions. For me personally, I needed freedom to be able to come to terms with the direction my life was headed.

The office was a ghost town when I arrived. I’d driven my car all the way to D.C. since I knew I’d be staying somewhere. The receptionist wouldn’t be in until nine, and I was determined to get some work done before everyone showed up.

I rounded the corner to my office and found an envelope with my name on it. I looked all around, but saw no one. It wasn’t until I went inside that I opened it. In fancy handwriting and read the words.

Rach,

Last night was great. Thanks for keeping my company. I know you’re going through a lot right now, so if you need a shoulder, I’m your man.

- Chad

I folded the paper and tucked it in my desk drawer where no one would see. Then I rubbed my temples and thought about the previous night.

After our office romp, Chad took me to dinner. We shared a bottle of wine while eating French Cuisine. Then we went to the show, where the front row provided us with a spectacular view. Afterwards, we walked around for a bit, talking about life and the company. Chad had plans for Leviathan, and I appreciated him including me in them.

When he was certain my buzz had worn off, he walked me to the train station, not leaving until he watched me board. I waved goodbye as we took off, all the while wondering how in the world we’d gotten to be friends so quickly.

Now I sat reading his short note and wondering when I was going to see him next. Then my mind went to Grayson, and my heart broke again.

I closed my eyes and focused on me instead of them. I was determined to tell Chad I couldn’t see him outside of work. It was the right thing to do. My mind was made up.





Chapter 20


Rachel


By noon I’d sent out over one hundred emails, and made the remainder of calls to the employees I was calling back into the office. Since the majority of people hadn’t returned, it was eerily quiet in the building.

A knock at my door startled me, sending me out of my chair with my hand on my heart. “Come in.”

Who I suspected to be Chad, turned out to be none other than my daughter Stephanie. She walked right in, not stopping until she was in my arms. “Oh, Mom. I can’t believe this is happening.”

“I’m sorry you had to find out, sweetie. It’s been a rough few days.”