A Kingpin Love Affair: The Complete series(16)

My eyes caught the sight of her legs. God, they seemed to go on for miles and miles. Water droplets clung to her skin and I wanted to lick them off. Hell, I wanted to be them. I was envious—so f*cking envious. The need to caress her skin with my tongue, to see if she would scream my name as I had imagined she would be almost too much.

“Is everything okay?” she asked, clenching her towel as she tried to hide as much of herself from my eyes as possible. The way she was looking at me only made me think dirtier thoughts. My eyes managed to find hers after what seemed like minutes. How could she still look at me as if she cared about my well-being after all I had done to her? The way I had talked, the harshness in which I spoke, the things that I had said...

She should hate me. Not looking at me as if I had saved the day by speaking to her. I almost forgot what it was I had wanted to say, but then I managed to pull myself together.

“I just wanted to let you know that I’m leaving. My sister and her friend are going to come over while I’m gone so you can have some girl time.” I spat the words at her while running like a bat out of hell from her bedroom. I had insulted her, ogled her, and tormented her all within the last hour.

“Wait…” She said softly, her voice like a wisp of the wind in the leaves. I turned around even though I knew I shouldn’t have. My eyes caught her in a terrifying stare. In her eyes, I saw a fragile being, one that was incapable of being broken any more than she already was. The pieces of her heart lay shattered on the floor.

“I’m sorry if I’m inconveniencing you.” Her teeth sank into her bottom lip nervously. I wanted her. I wanted her lip in between my teeth. I wanted to bite it, to suck on it. To lick it.

“If I’m making living in your own home harder, I can leave…” At the mere words, I wanted to lash out, my cock coming to attention while anger washed over me. Leave? Was she secretly doing drugs that I wasn’t aware of? Had I come off as that big of an * this entire time?

I picked my next set of words very carefully, not wanting to scare her away but not wanting to coddle her either. “See, that’s the thing about you.” I stepped into her space. “You’re not even aware of the danger that lies ahead of you. I don’t want you to leave.” My breath fell against her cheek. “What I want is to f*ck you. To be a part of you in every way that I can, and I know that’s not what you need right now. So pardon me for protecting you.” A gasp escaped her plump lips. I felt my hands unclenching, the desire to grip her and pin her against the wall. To take her under with me, to show her the true meaning of my darkness.

Her eyes grew large, and I couldn’t even tell what it was that lingered inside them. Fear. Excitement. I didn’t even know, and instead of trying to determine it what it was, I took a step back and then another until I was no longer in her vicinity, no longer in the house and no longer within distance of reaching out to her. I couldn’t be in the same room or area as she was right now. She made me think things that were irrational and straight up crazy.

When I came home tonight, she would be asleep and my life would be easier for another eight hours. Air filtered into my lungs as I started my Tahoe and headed out of the driveway pulling onto the street. I would wait until Bree and Taylor got here before leaving.





Chapter Nine


Isabella

His admission seemed to frighten me but only slightly as I had never been with a man before, and while that fear was self-explanatory, I still felt my body heating and a flush growing across my skin.

I opened my mouth to try to respond to what he had said, but not only would the words not come out, but I also saw he had turned around and was heading toward the garage. I couldn’t leave things like this between us—but, then again, what would I have said anyway? Each time I tried to say something he would have a more powerful retort. As if he kept it on the tip of his tongue waiting for the perfect moment to let it out.

I understood the lustful expressions he was giving me. The men in the trades had given me the same looks on numerous occasions. Things were different when Jared gazed at me, though. He watched me like a man thirsty for water, not like a piece of property or meat. He didn’t make me feel used or filthy. If anything, I felt wanted and needed, something inside of him calling to that black hole inside of me.

I had never wanted a man, let alone wanted one to touch me, but with Jared, it was different. I felt a spark when he looked at me, my body awakening at just the mere thought of him. Even if he was broody most of the time, there still was something about him, something that lingered under the surface. Maybe it was a longing to be understood, to be accepted as is. In all truths, we both did, and I think it was the force underneath it all. It’s where we came together. It was more than being the missing piece to one another’s puzzles—it was about connecting.

Clutching the towel to my body, I cleared my mind. Pushing the feelings of coldness and loneliness away. I slipped the towel from my body and dried off before using it to wrap my hair in a twist so it could dry.

Stepping into a pair of sweats and a t-shirt given to me by the FBI caused a desire to form within me. Oh, how I longed for something that was my own. Something that said Isabella and was just mine. Growing up in Russia, and being considered a low-income family, I never had that. My clothes were my mother’s hand me downs being passed from generation to generation. Sometimes, if Mother had a few extra coins after taking care of the important things we needed, then she would take me to a thrift store and let me get one or two pieces of clothing. But they were never mine, they were still someone else’s and eventually, they would become one of my siblings.