A Kingpin Love Affair: The Complete series(11)

“Yes, you did.” I shot back, still facing away from him. I could feel the air between us thicken. I wondered if he would walk behind me and wrap his arms around me. Worst of all, I wondered what it would feel like to be loved and cared for by him and to feel his heartbeat against my chest.

“No. I really didn’t mean to scare you. I know you have been through a lot of shit, and I don’t want you to—” His words cut off and a sigh filled the air. “It was a really big dick move to say that to you.” Was he apologizing to me? He couldn’t be.

Turning on my heels, I attempted to put some more distance between us not realizing how close he truly was. He must’ve crossed the room while I faced away from him. My eyes glided over his chest, arms, and shoulders before meeting his face.

“But you did, because just like me, you’re afraid of allowing someone to get close to you. Everyone leaves in the end, right? So, while I accept your apology, I know you meant every word you said. Fear causes us to speak words we normally wouldn’t.” I was astounded and a bit shocked that I had spoken out in such a way, yet I understood his emotions as much as he did. He might be able to hide it from everyone else, but he couldn’t hide it from me. His very emotions were something I dealt with daily.

His face fell, the shock showing in his eyes. He had to have known I could see right through his bullshit. Agent King did as well. There was no way he could assume he had fooled me.

“This was a mistake.” He sneered, baring his teeth. Anger is the second thing to rear its ugly head right next to fear when you don’t want to admit your faults when you feel trapped. Instead of calling him on it, I allowed him to think he had won and watched him turn his back to me. His footsteps were heavy with annoyance as he walked away from me.

I heard him mumbling under his breath but never stopped to focus on what it was he was saying. Instead, my eyes stayed trained on his body, watching every step he took away from me. Desperately wanting to reach out to him but knowing it would do no good, we were both two very different people on a crash course with reality. Our vices were the same.

When two people fighting the same battle collided, it would be like gasoline and a match waiting to be struck. It wouldn’t take much to cover everything that made us who we were as we burned with fire.





Chapter Six


Jared

My throat felt tight as I begged him to let me see her. Where was my momma? Why wasn’t she home? Something inside of me said there was something wrong.

My dad hung up the phone, tears falling from his eyes. He never cried. He was strong. Why was he crying? Dads didn’t cry.

“What’s wrong? Where’s momma?” I screamed, my voice filled with panic.

“She’s gone, son.” Three words that changed my life forever. Pain radiated through my body in a way that made me feel as if I was being ripped apart. I could feel a piece of me being pulled away. That piece being my momma.

I awoke covered in sweat, my hands gripping the sheets and my eyes squeezed closed as tight as I could make them. It wasn’t real if you didn’t see it with your own eyes. That’s what I always told myself as a kid when the memories hit me full force.

It took three to four deep breaths before I released the sheets and popped an eye open.

My brain failed to catch up with my ears because, as I allowed the fear to slip away, a scream broke through the house. I waited a moment to see if it was merely my mind playing tricks on me or if it was Isabella.

When another scream filled the air, this one much louder than the previous, I felt compelled to get up from my bed, hardly realizing what I was doing. My feet stopped just short of her bedroom door. My stomach was in a knot. I didn’t know if I should go in or not.

I went through the motions of feeling her pain, understanding, and knowing the nightmares wouldn’t go away no matter what you did. It was up to you, the person going through them, if they would continue to plague you. My father always told me, your dreams are your biggest fears played on the big screen in your mind.

“No… please, no…” she cried out. Her voice was filled with so much sadness my heart seized, stopping in place for a brief moment. I pushed the door open a little bit, just enough for me to push in through the small opening. My eyes glided over her body, and I knew I had to do something.

She was laying on her side in the fetal position, one of her hands was clutching her chest, and the other was gripping the bed sheets as if they could hold her to this world. An ache formed with me and I found myself walking toward the side of her bed. Knowing that I would never be able to fall asleep with her fighting her biggest fears right down the hall from me.

My body caved, recognizing the pain she was feeling as its own. I looked down at my flannel sleep pants and my naked chest knowing I would regret this in the morning. Lifting her just barely off the bed, I placed her softly against the pillows on the other side of the mattress. The bed was a queen, but looking at it now, somehow it seemed so much smaller with both of us in it.

“Fuck,” I whispered. My body was telling me it was okay to be attracted to her. After all, she was a woman, and she did have a killer body, but it was more than that. I was drawn to her darkness. I craved it.

I slipped into bed next to her without another thought, knowing if I didn’t move now, I never would. The sheets soft against my skin, my body began to calm.