A Kingpin Love Affair: The Complete series(14)

His hand that was against my breast moved to my chin gripping it tightly. My teeth ground together as my jaw clamped shut and fear coated my insides. I felt trapped, wanting to struggle against his hold, but at the same time, not wanting to give him a reason to knock me below his feet.

“Do you understand that this cunt will be mine? You’re mine, Isabella.” He hissed my name. Seconds passed with no interaction, all that could be heard was the furious beating of my heart and his heavy breaths against my cheek.

With a shove, he released me, and I fell to the hard ground. I had never been more relieved in my life to be shoved away, thrown away like yesterday’s garbage. I didn’t want any of the other girls to have to take punishment for my actions or my place for the things I refused to give to these people, but when it came down to surviving, I would do anything that I could.

I shuffled against the dirt floor and into a corner, unsure where exactly I was in the cell. I needed to find my way back to my cot. I was on the verge of collapsing on the floor when I heard the screams of one of the other girls.

Her cries were muffled as if she were far away. “Stop doing this to me. Stop hurting me,” she pleaded. She didn’t understand that pleading did her no good. They didn’t care if they hurt us. Their job was to break us down into nothing, making us soulless individuals who would do anything they wanted. They didn’t want women—they wanted puppets.

They wanted us weak, not just physically, but emotionally and mentally, as well. I continued to crawl on the floor until I came to the wall. My fingers digging into the ground beneath me, begging for a way out as if it would magically appear before me.

“You will learn this is how we do things here. Do you understand me? Nod your head yes if you do.” The woman cried out in pain as the sound of a whip hitting flesh filled the air.

My heart ached, breaking in two knowing the pain she was enduring. They had been more than nice to me. I was dirty and felt upon, but I had never been a victim of their rage or felt the bite of the leather against my flesh.

“You will speak only when spoken to. You will follow these rules or you will face the consequences.” Another slap of the whip against her skin. Tears fell from my eyes for the pain she was receiving.

It was then I vowed to break free of this place, even if it got me killed.





Chapter Eight


Jared

I hated myself for leaving her there like that, even more for cornering her and making her feel like a trapped animal. I knew what she had gone through. I had been briefed on it by Zerro, but nothing made it more real than seeing the fear of what I could do to her reflected in her own eyes. I gripped at my hair, trying to find a reason for what I had done.

You’re an idiot.

I wanted to laugh at myself, out loud like a crazy ass person just so others could see me for who I really was. I wasn’t the good guy. I wasn’t stable or happy. I had none of the things going for me that Zerro or Devon had. I was drowning helplessly in the deep end with no escape in sight.

You’re not good enough for her.

My nails dug into my palms as I stared at myself in the mirror. I hated the person I had become but failed to do anything to fix it. I had allowed the simmering rage, agony, and hopelessness to carry me away from all those that I loved.

They don’t love you, I told myself.

Comforting her was wrong, wanting her even worse, but now I felt starved as if she had been my first fresh bite of food in years. I didn’t need to be pulling Isabella into my shitstorm called life. She had her own problems, problems that I would never be able to handle. She couldn’t handle me. Today showed me just that, yet here I was trying to grasp at straws for something. Anything really to keep going to her, to keep her here. I splashed water on my face thinking that it would help wake me up from my * state, but it did nothing.

You’re not her hero. You’re her darkness. You will break her and hurt her more than she already is. Why can you not see that you’re her destruction, her damnation, her downfall?

Staring in the mirror at the man who was not worthy of someone like Isabella, I made a vow to distance myself, to protect her when needed, but I would never allow myself to get close to her like that again. To feel her warmth against my coldness. To feel the softness of her curves against my hardness. Her shallow breaths would now only be a memory.

I slammed my fist on the countertop, forcing the words inside my head to stick. They had to—it would be the only thing saving her from me. From there I showered, dressed, and made my way out to the kitchen. The smell of freshly brewed coffee met my nostrils.

I rounded the corner, my eyes meeting hers immediately. The look in them were neutral but had an amused undertone. I felt a pang of guilt because I was about to become a bigger * than I had previously been, and I knew more than anything she didn’t deserve to be treated this way.

“I made coffee.” She sounded happy about such a small feat and I smiled in return, acting as if I was unaware of my actions.

“I see that. Thank you.” My voice remained the same, the words slipping out as I prepared myself a cup. I needed to clear the air and to remind her that what had happened this morning wasn’t going to ever happen again.

We all had to fight our own demons—even as tempting as it was to help one another through them.

“Thanks for—” She seemed to stop thinking about what it was she wanted to say next. “Being there for me last night even if I wasn’t aware of it. I know you know some of what I went through, but sometimes, the nightmares get out of control…” She continued on, her voice soft and sweet. I clenched my fist gripping the coffee mug in my hand. I was so consumed with her, with the way her lips moved, and how her voice sounded, I failed to notice the coffee in my cup as it sloshed over the edge. I yelped out as the scolding hot coffee fell against my skin.