A Kingpin Love Affair: The Complete series(15)

“Fuck,” I cursed, running to the sink to run some cold water over the burnt flesh.

“Oh, my goodness. Are you okay?” She purred against me, her body rubbing against my side as she attempted to examine my hand. I hated what I was about to do but knew I needed to. After all, it was better this way.

“I’m fine,” I said coldly, pulling myself from her grip, which in turn caused her to cower back a step. I could see the fear and hesitation in her eyes as she realized what I had said. I had just doused her pleasant mood with cold water. I had ruined her day with my shit behavior.

“I was just checking—” She looked slightly startled that she had said something.

“I know what you’re doing,” I growled, pulling away from the sink. I needed to get away from her, away from all of this. I was stifled, feeling buried underneath it all. The desperate need to confess my secrets to her was smothering me like a thick fog of smoke.

“Did I do something?” Her voice sounded somber as I allowed myself one last look. I could see the reflection of unhappiness shining back at me. I had hurt her. I had cut the ties she had with me, causing a suffering on both sides.

“Yes, you did,” I lied, continuing on. “Stay away from me and there won’t be a problem. I was wrong to try to help you through your nightmare. It won’t happen again.” I made myself sound angry as I scowled at her. If she could tell that I was lying, she wasn’t saying anything. Instead, she took a couple more unnerving steps back until she hit the island. I caught the look of shame right as she turned on her heels and headed for her bedroom.

I wanted to feel bad, and I did maybe just a little bit, but I knew better than anyone that if I allowed her in there would be no letting her go. This was a job, a favor to Zerro, a temporary arrangement. Plus I couldn’t do this to her or to myself.

I pushed off the granite countertop reaching into my pocket. I needed out and the only way to get out was to take a job. I gritted my teeth. I would have to call Bree and Tegan. I would have to beg for them to come and look out for her while I got my shit together.

You’re doing the right thing.

The voice in my head was a whisper, but I knew it was right. Logging into the driving system, I picked a route for an hours’ time.

I hesitated with my thumb in the air over my sister’s name. It had been weeks since I last spoke to her since I last called her. I was a dick and a super shitty brother. Picking my balls up off the floor, I pushed the button and waited for her to send me to voicemail. I deserved it.

“Holy shit. Has hell actually frozen over?” she said into the phone, answering on the second ring. Clearly, I was wrong when it came to knowing if she was mad or not.

“I know I should be calling you for something else, maybe even to say hi or ask how Gia is doing, but I’m not. I need a favor from you and Tegan.” I paused, waiting to see how she would respond to me

“Oh, okay. What’s going on?” Concern filled her voice. I tried to tell myself she didn’t care, and that it was all a part of my imagination, but I knew that was a lie. No one cared as much as Bree did.

“I’m sure Zerro told you that I’m babysitting. I have Isabella here, and I need some time away if you know what I mean.” I paused mid-sentence, wondering how what I had said made me look into my sister’s eyes.

“I took a job for the afternoon driving, and I need someone to be here with her. I know you don’t owe me anything, but I don’t want her here alone. Plus she could use some interaction with other women.” Nothing I had said was a lie. All the above was the honest truth.

“Zerro told me all about it. What can we do? Do you want us to have girl time with her?” I could hear Gia giggling in the background. Her laughter always filled me with warmth and made me want things I knew I would never have. I was just a dreamer, incapable of making the things I wanted most in life happen.

“Bring some clothes over. She looks to be your size. You can grab some pizza, maybe a couple of movies and make a day out of it. I don’t know. Whatever you girls do in your free time. She needs it. She’s been through a lot and living with me is hard enough. Do something to make her feel comfortable here.”

Bree laughed softly as if something I had said was funny. “Whatever we girls do in our free time? Are you kidding me? I spend money in my free time.”

“Perfect. I will leave some money here. Get her some clothes, some shoes, socks, anything she needs or wants.”

“All right. We’ll be there in about an hour, maybe two. I have to call Tegan so she can get herself and Taylor ready.”

“Okay. That’s fine.”

“See you soon,” she says as she hangs up the phone. Nothing she said sounded as if she was mad or aggravated by the conversation, or the fact that I had failed to talk to her for months. Still, I felt more like a douche for having ignored her phone calls for weeks on end only to then end up calling her for a favor of my own. I was a complete contradiction.

I paced the floor for a short time before heading toward Isabella’s room. After all I had just said to her, it didn’t make much sense to go and hunt her down... Before I could finish my thought, I was walking down the hall and into her bedroom. When I realized she wasn’t in sight, a switch seemed to flick on deep inside of me.

Panic surged through me overriding any and all other emotions. Unsure of where she had gone, I walked throughout the room, glancing over her bed and inside the closet a number of times thinking maybe I had missed her somewhere. Just when I was sure I had lost my ever-loving mind, she crossed the threshold of the bedroom with nothing but a towel on. My lower extremities grew and grew, and f*cking grew. My eyes glided over her smooth skin. Anxiety and alarm slipped to the back of my mind as relief and the need to wrap my arms around her consumed me.