A Kingpin Love Affair: The Complete series(20)

God, I wanted her. I had never wanted a woman so badly. She looked up at me, her eyes growing wide with lust and a desire unfamiliar to even her. In an instant, I had her in my arms. I was holding her to my body, her curves molding to my hardness in the most perfect of ways.

“I really am sorry. I didn’t mean to make you angry.” She tried to get the words out, but they were muffled against my shirt as I gripped her tighter. My eyes drifted closed as I thought over my next words. Was there an excuse for me touching her?

“Never be sorry. God, don’t be f*cking sorry. It’s I who should be sorry.” I cursed myself for allowing the admission to fall from my lips.

She pulled away from me, confusion marring her face. “I don’t understand what you mean? You’re mad, right? I mean, I didn’t mean to cause you to be mad, but I just wanted to try this once, and I never expected you to come home…” Her voice fell from my mind. All I could see were her lips moving and then I was descending upon her. My hands cupped the sides of her cheeks as my lips sought hers.

The moment they touched one another’s was when silence consumed her. I could tell the second she understood what was taking place. I could feel her walls falling and her mind opening up to me. Her hands clung to me as I softly nibbled on her bottom lip. That full bottom lip had been the death of me over the past few days.

A soft purr left her throat and I smiled like a sick son of a bitch as my lips moved against hers in the softest, slowest strokes I had ever made. She gathered her own rhythm and pressed herself firmly against me, her grip growing tighter as the seconds flew by. I envisioned placing her on my bed and ripping my shirt away, possessing her body in every way that I possibly could.

Still I forced myself to release her, knowing that if I kept touching her or allowing her to touch me—hell, if I had to continue to stare at her in this way, we wouldn’t be leaving this spot without something happening. With more restraint than I knew I ever had, I released her, stepping back until I was out of touching distance. She looked at me with a pout on her face, her bottom lip out a bit more than her top lip. My cock grew harder with every passing second.

“I’m not the good guy in all of this, but even I know when enough is enough.” I paused, taking a deep breath before I allowed my next sentence to come out. “I just couldn’t go another day without at least knowing what you tasted like. I needed to know what you felt like under my hands, what your skin felt like against mine.” The words were nothing that I had ever felt or said aloud to another person before. Her expression turned to shock right away and then a soft smile formed on her face.

“Does this mean we can be friends?” Her question was so na?ve. What about, I want to f*ck you until you can’t walk straight said I want to be friends? Yeah, maybe with your *.

I shook my head. “I thought we already were friends?” I raised an eyebrow up at her. I couldn’t blame her if she said we weren’t. I had been the biggest jackass on the face of the planet. The truth was while I was away at work, I couldn’t stop thinking about her. Even though I left the house to get away, I longed to be here. Hell, I hardly knew her so I could chalk it up to being alone for so long. But the reality was I craved someone who understood what it was like to be alone.

“We were, I mean, we are.” She corrected herself, standing taller. The way she talked and acted and simply based on her past experiences I knew I needed to find a way to protect her when I wasn’t around. She might not be here forever, but when she left, I wanted to make sure she took something good away from this entire experience.

“Isabella.” Her name rolled off my tongue so smoothly it was almost impossible to tell it was once foreign to me. A small voice in the back of my mind said, it’s because it’s not foreign.

“Jared…” My mother’s singsong voice entered my ears.

The memory was jarring causing me to take another step back. Maybe my anger toward Isabella had nothing to do with her but everything to do with what she reminded me of.

“Jared,” Isabella called my name and my eyes lifted to meet hers. Alarms were going off in my head telling me I needed to push her away, to make her believe my desire for her had everything to do with finding comfort in someone’s flesh. Yet, as I formed the sentences in my mind, I couldn’t force myself to say them.

“Are you okay?” Again, her voice soothed the chaos brewing within me. She took a step toward me, and I could feel my hard exterior cracking.

No. Never again.

The words hung in the air. I couldn’t. We couldn’t. It was too good to be true.

“I’m fine. I just wanted to let you know I’m going to take you out to the gun range so I can teach you how to shoot.” I kept my voice neutral as I felt myself drawing back into my shell.

The expression that formed on her face told me she wasn’t expecting that. My nonchalant attitude had hurt her. Dolefulness filled her features and in an instant disappeared.

“Oh, okay. That sounds great,” she said it sounded great, yet her voice made it sound like I had just cut her deep and then spit on her. I backed up, not sure where to go from here. I had made out with her, felt her up, and now I was giving her the cold shoulder again.

She had no idea what kind of f*cked up I was. She had no idea that it wasn’t she who was the problem, but me.

All me. Always f*cking me.