White Stag (Permafrost #1)(29)

You don’t need to cover for me. Both of you know where I was. I don’t care if Rekke knows. I don’t care if that brings shame upon you. I kept my mouth shut, though. I might start screaming if I did otherwise.

Panic pawed at the ground when he saw me, his eagerness spilling through my limbs. I grabbed his bridle roughly, pulling his head down. “Not long ago you thought of escaping,” I muttered.

If he understood me, he didn’t show it, only jerking his head back. I mounted him and waited for Soren to take the lead. Surprisingly, he stayed back, allowing Elvira and Rekke to go forward. Shock was plain on Rekke’s face; I figured this was the first time she had the honor of riding before a goblin such as Soren. Elvira hid her thoughts better, but I could still see through to the surprise underneath her icy mask. Obviously, she hadn’t expected Soren to give up the lead any time soon.

I kicked Panic into a canter and started after them, not bothering to let Soren catch up with me. I didn’t want to hear whatever he had to say. I wasn’t ready—close, but not quite. His eyes burned on the back of my neck, never leaving my body as our horses ran the twisted route the silver prey line took. The silver line turned sharply away from the border of the Permafrost, plunging deep into the west of the territory.

I’d never been to the lands west of the Erlking’s domain, so when warm air hit my skin, at first I thought it was my imagination. The hot air hung heavy with humidity like a hazy summer day. The grasses and trees surrounding our path were burnt black by lightning strikes and charred with ash. The scent of burning lingered in the air.

Soon the air weighed heavy in my lungs as the smothering heat covered me. Panic’s laboring breath grew heavier with each stride, until I was forced to let him go at a slower pace.

“We’re in the Fire Bog.” I jumped as Soren spoke from beside me.

I grunted something unintelligible, unwilling to start an actual conversation.

As usual, Soren’s abysmal social skills didn’t manage to pick up the message. “You came back. I knew you would.”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“I need to tell you something,” he said, nudging his steed closer to me.

I recoiled. “I don’t want to talk to you, or hear you gloat about being right, or listen to you try to explain how this is all for my benefit, or anything. If you try, I swear I’ll take my axe to you, you lilac-eyed bastard.” I spat the words out venomously, the anger and hate, for Soren, for myself, for the accusing thoughts in my head, for everything, begging to be let out. “I don’t care that you saved my life! It doesn’t make you any better. You’re a monster, you all are.”

Soren growled low in his throat. “What exactly is a monster to you, Janneke? You hunt down a doe, and she believes you’re a monster with her dying breath. A dog kills a rabbit and a mountain lion kills the dog. Which is the monster there?” He jerked his head to where Rekke rode. “Is she a monster because she’s on the Hunt, or is Elvira, because she’s trying to kill her? Or are the monsters the ones who tried to slay you for attempting to save their lives? What exactly is a monster?”

A shadow of doubt flickered across my face, but I said nothing, instead looking away from him.

“My point is we’re all monsters to someone or something by some definition. It’s the context of the situation that matters.” His eyes rested on mine as the gnawing feeling from before grew in the pit of my stomach. There was a beat of silence before he continued. “You know I’m right. I can see your jaw clenching. You always do that when you don’t want to admit you’re wrong.”

I breathed out hard and slowly unclenched my jaw. “Do not.”

“Do too.” A challenging look sparkled in his eyes.

“Not.”

“Too.”

“I do not.” I felt my lips beginning to twitch into a smile and set my jaw hard, adamant that I would not prove him right.

“You’re literally doing it right now,” he cried out, causing Elvira and Rekke to look at us strangely.

“You’re making it really hard to continue being angry,” I said, shaking my head.

“I’m irresistible.” He said the words so seriously that I couldn’t help but give an unladylike snort of laughter.

“Insufferable, more like.” I rolled my eyes.

“I actually resent that.” A smirk played on Soren’s lips. “You know what they say about those who protest too much…”

I was saved from responding when we met up with Elvira and Rekke. Elvira’s snow cat was pawing the ground, leaving dark furrows in the earth. A harsh smell churned in the air; I crinkled my nose. Rekke was giving me a knowing grin from where she sat on her horse and all-but-mouthing, I told you so.

“What is it?” I turned away from her, feeling my face heat up.

Elvira turned her tense body toward me. “Something is off. Can you smell the air?”

“I smell it,” I said. The strong sulfur-like stench was hard to ignore now. My eyes were stinging and watering while Panic flattened his ears and snorted. “Do you know what it is?”

Elvira shook her head and anxiety flashed across her face. “No.”

There was a muffled thump as Soren dropped to the ground and put his ear against the mud. He listened, then let out an agonizing hiss, jerking back from the ground.