While It Lasts (Sea Breeze #3)(47)

The text was from Chad. He was driving me nuts. We’d gone out dancing Saturday night after Cage left. Daddy and Elaine had thought that was a wonderful idea when Jeremy suggested it. I had been stuck. Elaine’s hopeful expression as Chad pulled my chair out for me had been hard to miss. She had invited Chad because she was matchmaking.

Chad wanted to know what I was doing tonight. I wanted to know when he was going back to Louisiana so he would leave me alone. I typed that I wasn’t up for doing anything and left it at that.

Watching the barn for Cage to show up was making me anxious and nauseous every minute he didn’t come driving up. Had he quit? Surely not. He had his scholarship to deal with. I looked down at my phone and thought about texting him. I’d ignored his attempts at trying to contact me. Would he even respond?

I had to know.

Me: Are you okay? Where are you?

I held my phone in my hands and waited.

The silence in the room was deafening. I could hear my heart beating. With each second that ticked by without a response my stomach twisted tighter into the coil it had been in since Elaine had told me how disappointed Josh would be in me. I didn’t want to disappoint Josh. I didn’t want to make a mistake. Cage had been a way for me to heal. He’d been fun and exciting. Nothing felt bad and wrong when we were together. I knew he would be gone soon. I hadn’t kidded myself into believing we had anything long lasting.

After several minutes and no response I dropped my phone onto the bed and lay back on my pillow. Was he going to leave my life just like that? No goodbye, just disappear?

A warm tear trickled down my cheek. For the first time in eighteen months my tears weren’t because of Josh Beasley.

*

I decided to go get Cage’s sheets and wash them. I could ask Daddy if he was coming back with the excuse that I needed to know if I should put the sheets back on once I cleaned them.

The barn door was open when I stepped outside Wednesday morning. Hope surged in my chest. I wanted to run toward the barn but I couldn’t. Daddy was around here somewhere.

Once I got close, I stopped and took a deep breath before I walked inside. If he was in there I had to explain things. I wasn’t sure yet what I was going to say. Telling Cage that Josh’s mother didn’t approve of him wasn’t exactly a wise idea. Cage didn’t seem like the kind of guy that would take to being told he was less than worthy with a shrug. If I wanted to get rid of him that would be a really good way to do it. And I definitely didn’t want to get rid of him.

Cage stalked out of the barn with a scowl on his face. He had a straw hat tilted back on his head and his shirt wasn’t yet soaked from sweat. He was gorgeous.

He halted when he saw me then his face turned hard and cold before he continued past me and threw the shovel and tool box into the back of the truck. I tried to speak but my words got stuck in my throat. I didn’t know how to talk to this Cage. The one with the cocky smile and sexy swagger was gone.

He stalked back by me and headed back into the barn. I was frozen. What did I say? Would he yell at me if I tried to explain? Did he even care? Had I been written off where he was concerned? Oh, god. Was I now just one of the many he’d toss away and forget?

He came back out of the barn with his hands full of feed and a can of motor oil. His eyes didn’t even flicker past me. I really did feel invisible, now.

Once he threw the things in his truck he headed for the driver’s side door and jerked it open. He was going to drive off. I had to say something.

“Cage?” I croaked out.

The only reason I knew he heard me was that his shoulders tensed but he didn’t look back and respond.

“Cage, please,” I begged, hoping that would at least get him to look at me.

His grip on the door was so tight his knuckles were white.

“Don’t,” he replied in a flat emotionless voice before sliding inside and slamming the door behind him.

He pulled out and headed south without once making eye contact with me. My chest felt like it was going to burst. I wanted to cry. I wanted to scream. I wanted to run after him and demand he talk to me.

This is what it feels like to care about someone who doesn’t feel the same.

I’d only known how it felt to love someone who loved me just as fiercely. I’d never known rejection. I’d never wanted someone who didn’t want me. The longing didn’t go away with rejection.

Numbly, I went inside the barn and headed back to his room. I would still wash his sheets and towels. He needed clean things.

I opened the door to his room. The mattress was bare and a set of clean sheets were stacked on top. Beside them sat a stack of clean folded towels and washcloths. He’d taken his things to Low. She’d washed them for him.

The sorrow only grew. She’d never have to feel the ache from Cage’s rejection. He loved her. He always would. Just like Josh had loved me without question. It had been unconditional. I hated Willow because she had something I never would: Cage York’s unconditional love. Did anyone else have that? I knew they didn’t. He never spoke of family. Low was his family. She was all that mattered to him. What must that feel like? I picked up his towels and put them on the small shelf beside the shower. Then I went about making up his bed for him. I hadn’t been able to clean his sheets for him but at least I could do something. I wanted to do something for him. Even if he no longer wanted me.