While It Lasts (Sea Breeze #3)(46)

“She was ten in that one. Just gotten braces and was really upset about it. Her dad couldn’t get her to smile so he called over to the house and got me and Josh to come over. When we got there Eva was perched up on top of that swing with unshed tears in her eyes and an angry scowl on her face. Josh stood behind the photographer and started telling her knock—knock jokes and making funny faces.”

Her head was tilted to the side and she looked like she’d just finished giggling in the image. My heart tugged thinking about all the memories she had like this one reminding her daily of what she’d lost.

Jeremy started walking again and I followed him toward the large arched entryway where the sounds of voices and laughter were pouring out. Whoever was in there, they were having a really good time.

Jeremy stepped in in front of me, “Mom, Dad, Chad, this is Cage York. He’s working for Wilson this summer. Cage, this is my family. Chad’s my cousin from Louisiana I told you about that I’m going to be rooming with.”

I hadn’t expected a full introduction. Apparently, neither had they. I didn’t focus on any one person. When my eyes swept over the table I recognized Jeremy’s mother as the lady who had come by the other day. Fear festered at what her arrival could have meant. She was Josh’s mother too. I didn’t like where my mind was going with that one.

When my gaze found Eva, she wasn’t looking at me. Her head was down and she was fiddling nervously with her napkin. Fuck.

“Cage? Is there a problem?” Wilson asked.

I forced myself to look at Wilson, instead of his daughter.

“I didn’t mean to interrupt your dinner. I just needed to ask you if it was alright if my ride came and got me tonight?”

Wilson shrugged and nodded, “I don’t see why not. Sure boy, go on. I’ll see you Monday morning.”

“Thanks,” I replied and swung my eyes back to Eva. She still hadn’t lifted her head. I didn’t want to leave like this. “It was uh, nice to meet y’all.” I didn’t wait for a response. I turned and made my way back to the door. I needed to get some fresh air and try real hard to get control of the panic settling in my chest.

The screen door slammed behind me but I didn’t flinch, I just kept walking. Reaching into my pocket, I texted Low to come on and get me tonight.

She’d be at least an hour. Instead of going back to the closed—in space of my makeshift bedroom, I headed down to sit in the swing under the biggest oak tree on the property. I rarely saw anyone out here. It was dark and I could stay hidden while I gathered my thoughts.

Josh’s mother had come for a visit and Eva hadn’t spoken to me since. What had been said? Had Eva seen her and realized what she was stepping down from? Josh had the nice all—American family. I, on the other hand, just had Low. My momma hadn’t made me meals and washed my clothes. Hell, my momma hadn’t even taken me to the doctor when I was sick. My half-sister and I hardly ever spoke. The last I heard she’d been busted in a meth lab with her latest boyfriend and gone to prison.

Yeah, I had one f*cking fantastic family to introduce Eva too. If she thought I wasn’t worthy now, without knowing all that messed up shit, then I didn’t stand a chance.

I dropped my head into my hands. Why had I let myself care? Why had I decided to f*cking care about someone who was so out of my damn reach? Girls like Eva didn’t want to keep me. They wanted to play with me for a while and then go find the boy their parents would approve of. I wasn’t the keeping kind. I’d learned at a young age that women didn’t keep me. When a guy’s momma don’t want him, why the f*ck should anyone else? Something was wrong with me. Always had been. When I’d found Low, I’d held onto her and decided that since she was the only girl that wanted to keep me then she would be the one I spent forever with. I knew she’d never leave me. My f*ck—ups would never send her running away. Then she’d found Marcus and he’d loved her in a way I never would. As much as I loved her I couldn’t love her the way it would take to be faithful.

Then came Eva. She’d shown me I could only want one woman and be damned happy about it. Too bad that just like the others she didn’t want to keep me. This time I hadn’t gotten rid of her before she could figure out I wasn’t worth keeping. I wanted too much. I’d hoped for too damn much.

Voices drifted across the lawn and I watched as Eva came walking out of the front door with Jeremy and his cousin. I could hear their laughter. The three of them walked out to Eva’s Jeep and the cousin opened her door and whispered something in her ear before helping her get inside. Pain sliced through me.

Jeremy climbed in the back and his cousin sat in the passenger’s seat. Eva was going out. She was moving on. I had been a side distraction.

My eyes stung and I hated the weakness tears represented. Fuck that. I wouldn’t cry. I didn’t cry. I also didn’t f*cking beg. I knew what it felt like to beg someone to want you. I’d been called a worthless piece of shit by my father from the time I was five. Then again by my mother when I was a teenager rebelling because of the life I’d been handed.

I’d decided long ago if I was worthless then I didn’t have to live by anyone’s f*cking rules. I’d make my own.



Eva



My phone chimed alerting me of a text message and I grabbed it praying it was Cage. He hadn’t come back yet and it was Tuesday. Daddy didn’t seem concerned and I was scared to ask him where Cage was. I couldn’t show any interest in Cage. But I needed to know where he was. He’d stopped texting me after Saturday night. He hadn’t called. I’d ignored him. I had to. I was so confused.