While It Lasts (Sea Breeze #3)(45)

“Only because you haven’t been over to visit in a couple weeks. Just because Jeremy is moving off doesn’t mean you can’t come visit me.”

Guilt settled in my gut. I hadn’t been to see her since the day I’d started lusting over Cage York. Being in Josh’s house made the fun I was having with Cage seem tainted and wrong. I didn’t want to feel that way. So, I stayed away.

She reached down and picked up my bare left hand. “Jeremy told me you finally took it off. I want you to know I’m glad. I loved him too Eva, but sweetie, it was time to put the ring away.” Her voice was gentle and motherly. It was her son I’d been letting go when I’d taken the ring off but she was happy about it. How?

“There are still days I want to go grab it and put it back on,” I admitted.

“I know. There are days when I want to go clean his room and pull back his bed like he’s coming home to get in it.” The emotion in her voice tore at me. God, the pain was still there.

She shifted her gaze over my shoulder toward the barn. I saw the small concerned pinch in her expression. “Eva, is that the boy who your uncle sent here to work off some trouble he’d gotten into?”

She’d seen us.

“Yes ma’am,” I choked out. I didn’t want to admit this to her but what else could I do? She’d seen me sitting on that tailgate all smiles when she’d pulled up. What was she thinking? Did she think I was completely disrespecting Josh by spending time with someone who wasn’t as good and moral as he had been?

“You know I love you like a daughter. You are just as much mine as Josh and Jeremy. I’ve always worried over you and prayed over you just like I did my boys. I still do. Josh loved you so much. You were his world from the time he was just a boy. He wanted you to have the wonderful life the two of you had planned out. But sweetie, I can tell you that Josh would never have wanted you spending time with that boy.” she nodded her head in the direction of the barn. “He isn’t worthy of you. Josh would want you to find someone who was good and stable. Someone who could take care of you and stand by you through all life’s twists and turns.” Her cold hand reached out and took mine in hers with a gentle squeeze. “You deserve much better than being some little fling for a guy like that one. Don’t let your sorrow and pain send you off on a road that you can’t get back from.”

My chest felt so heavy. Guilt. Pain. Sorrow. Loss. It all swirled together making it hard for me to take deep breaths. Was she right? Was I throwing Josh’s memory away because Cage York had an amazing body and a sexy smile? Had I become that shallow? Oh, God. Tears stung my eyes and Elaine pulled me back into a hug. “I didn’t mean to upset you, sweetie. Sometimes a momma needs to help us find the right path when we veer off. That’s all.” She smoothed down my hair as she reassured me.

“Now, let’s talk about other things. More positive things. Like what your plans are now that you’ve decided to drive that nice little Jeep again and start living your life. I want to hear all about it. You are going back to college, aren’t you? I mean you can’t stay here and keep going to the community college. You’re too smart for this place Eva. Oh, and the guitar. Your daddy told me he came home to you playing the other day. I’m so proud of you.” I followed Elaine into the house but I didn’t feel like talking about any of those things. I wanted to go hide in my room and cry. If wanting to be with Cage was so bad, why did it hurt to be told it was wrong? He was the reason I was moving on. Didn’t that count for something?





Chapter Nineteen


Cage

I’d sent Eva two texts and called her once. She still hadn’t responded. The invisible fairy was back but she wasn’t bringing the extra treats like the chocolate cake or strawberry pie. All I got was a thermos of water and an ice towel. Something was f*cked up.

I couldn’t go looking for her and demand she talk to me. Her dad would have my ass thrown off the property. I’d lose my scholarship and I wouldn’t have Eva. What the hell could I do? She wouldn’t talk to me. Our last conversation had been when she’d brought me the chocolate cake. The only thing that I could come up with was something had come up with the lady that came by and she was busy with that. Even still why the f*ck wouldn’t she answer my texts?

I needed to go talk to Wilson anyway. Low could come get me tonight as easily as tomorrow for my day off. I didn’t do anything between now and tomorrow morning. As much as I didn’t want to leave with Eva giving me the silent treatment, staying here would just drive me crazy. I pulled a clean shirt on then picked up my bag and threw a few things in it.

Wilson should be inside by this time. Maybe Eva would answer the door. I’d be able to see her face even if we couldn’t talk.

I headed up to the house.

The lights were all on which was odd. Even the outside floodlights were illuminating the yard. The driveway was also full. Were they having a party?

I paused at the door as laughter and several voices drifted outside.

The door swung open and Jeremy stood smiling at me. “Hey, man. What’s up?”

“I need to talk to Wilson,” I explained, looking past Jeremy for any sign of Eva.

“Come on in. He’s at the table with the family.”

The family? Whose family?

Jeremy led me inside and down a small foyer. I couldn’t help but pause several times to study pictures on the wall of Eva when she was younger. She’d been beautiful her entire life. Pigtails had also been her favorite hairstyle for a really long time.