Undone(30)

‘My little sister says that all the time: It’s a free country. She’s only eight and I’m pretty sure she has no idea what it even means.’ Great. I was being compared to an eight-year-old.

I said nothing. Zipped up my make-up bag and shoved it into my school bag.

As I walked past her, she reached out and put her hand on my arm. I stopped. Sasha Evans was touching me. ‘Sorry, I didn’t mean anything by it . . . You’re Jemima, aren’t you?’

Sasha Evans knew my name. This was getting weirder and weirder by the minute. ‘I . . . Jem, yeah.’

‘I was really sorry about your friend. I wanted to say something sooner, but I . . . well, I didn’t know you and I didn’t want to intrude.’

I looked at her then. Searching for any hint of sarcasm or fakeness. I didn’t see any, but that wasn’t to say it wasn’t there. She seemed genuine though. I couldn’t very well say what I was thinking – that I was almost certain one of her so-called friends had been responsible for Kai’s death. ‘Thanks.’

She was still touching my arm and I think we both realized at the same time. She pulled her hand away. ‘You look really different now.’

I shrugged again. What was I supposed to say to that?

‘Can I say something? Promise you won’t be offended?’

Another shrug. Shrugging was a safe thing to do.

‘You should go easy on the powder. And that one’s at least two shades too dark for your skin tone. I’m not trying to be mean or anything. God, you should have seen me a few years ago. All cakey orange foundation and no clue whatsoever.’

‘What, like Amber Sheldon?’ I winced as soon as I said it, but Sasha just laughed.

‘Worse than Amber, even! And don’t get me wrong – you look nothing like that. You look . . . good.’

‘Um . . . thanks.’ My insides were crawling with embarrassment.

‘Now why don’t you get out of here and let me cry in peace, eh?’ She smiled and it was warm. Definitely warm. She certainly didn’t look like she was about to cry again.

‘Are you going to be OK? What are you . . . what’s the matter?’ One compliment from Sasha and I was suddenly all concerned about her.

Sasha shook her head and went back to staring in the mirror. ‘I’ll be fine. I’ll be just fine.’ It looked like she was trying to convince her reflection as much as me.

I left her there, looking at herself. No goodbye. No ‘well, this has been lovely’. Not even a ‘please stay away in future, this is MY space, not yours’.

I replayed the conversation in my head for the rest of the day and I kept on coming back to one, unbelievable thing: Sasha Evans had been nice to me. Sort of.

A tiny kernel of an idea popped into my head that night, but I dismissed it immediately. It would be impossible, surely? But I kept on coming back to the fact that Sasha Evans, the most popular girl in school, had talked to me. I had Kai and Mum to thank for that. For one thing, I’d never have been in the science-block toilets if it wasn’t for my new-found vanity.

It would be so much easier to get back at Stu and the others if I wasn’t such a loner, such an outsider. I kept thinking, WHAT IF . . . ?

What if it was possible for me to somehow become friends with Sasha Evans?

What if she introduced me to the rest of her hideous friends?

What if I was able to get my revenge on Stu, Lucas and Bugs from the inside, and hurt them all the more because of it?

What if . . . ?





chapter twenty


Jem,

January. The rubbishest month of the year. Nobody likes Jannuary, do they? It’s all post-Christmas doom and gloom and it’s always cold and dark and depressing. Still, there’s only a few days left, so let’s look on the bright side.

I bet you’ve been dreading what I was going to ask you to do this month. Well, fear not, I thought I’d give you the month off ... mostly because I don’t want you to hate me! Just one thing though ... you haven’t talked to Lol yet, have you? If you have, Please accept my humble apologies. But if you haven’t, please just check on her. For me. She’s not as bad as you think. She’s not as bad as SHE

Ooh, I’ve just realiszed that Valentine’s Day is coming up! And you know how much we ADORE Valentine’s Day. The avalanche of cards through the letter box. The flowers, the chocolates, the candlelit dinners! Be still, my beating heart. I wouldn’t be surprised if you got a card or two this year, what with your fancy new hair and all. If you do, please don’t rip them up. And go easy on the poor boy (or girl!). It takes guts to put yourself out there like that. Unless of course the card is anonymous, in which case whoever sent it is lame and not worthy of your affections.

Anyway, if you don’t happen to get any cards, might I suggest an all-night horror-movie marathon to cheer yourself up? I do hope you’re continuing our fine tradition is my absence? I’d tell you to watch Halloween on Valentine’s Day, but I’m nothing if not true to my word-no silly missions this month. This is merely a suggestion, you understand. (But you really SHOULD watch it ... you know full well nothing cheers you up quite like some empty-headed girls getting chased through a dark house by a psychopath with a big knife.)

Same time next month, yes?

Kai

xxx