Twelve Steps to Normal(49)

“Comeer,” Whitney giggles, motioning us closer. She’s clearly drunk because this is the most enthusiastic I’ve seen her act toward me since I came back. “Hey!” She says way too loudly once we’re standing next to the armchair.

“That’s it,” Breck says, attempting to take her cup away from her. “I’m cutting you off.”

Whitney pulls her arm away just before he can grab her drink. “Nope.”

I look around, but there’s still no sign of Jay.

“Hey!” Whitney says again, snapping her fingers in front of my face. “I was try’na tell Breck… remember that one night in fourth grade when we spent the night at your house? And played truth or dare?”

I’m so surprised she’s directly acknowledging me that it takes me a moment to think back. There were a lot of those times, so I nod like I know which one she’s talking about.

“And you dared me to eat a whole box of Thin Mints? Remember I did it?” She turns to Lin. “Remember?”

“She so didn’t,” Breck says, egging her on.

“Shut up!” she squeaks. “I totally did. Tell him, Kira!”

Now that she’s mentioned it, I do remember that night. Whitney, Raegan, Lin, and I moved the couch and coffee table to separate corners of the living room so we could spread our sleeping bags across the area rug. It was my idea to play truth or dare. We made Lin eat ice cream with ketchup on it and Raegan had to ding dong ditch Mrs. Riley from across the street. Whitney didn’t follow through with her dare, though. She left half a roll of Thin Mints behind before falling asleep.

I can’t tell if Lin remembers this, though. She stays quiet.

Pieces of stray hair are stuck to Whitney’s forehead. Some of her mascara is smudged, but she doesn’t seem to know. Or care.

I think about what Lin said about the both of them trying to prove themselves to each other. It makes me sad. I wish she didn’t feel like she has to do this, but Jay obviously isn’t worried about finding her anytime soon. It’s like they’re playing these stupid games to test each other’s commitment.

Then a thought occurs to me. What if she’s testing me? I know what she wants me to say, even if it’s not the truth. But maybe that’s what she needs from me for us to be close again. And that’s what I wanted, right? To make amends with her, to finally be best friends again.

So I take her side.

“She did,” I tell Breck. “I was there.”

Breck looks impressed by the lie. Whitney gives him a smug grin. I know this was the right answer, but somehow I don’t feel like I’ve won.





SEVENTEEN


THE NEXT WEEK IS A whirlwind. Even though The Wavettes have taken over my after-school schedule once again, it’s nice to have something familiar to focus on. Plus I get to watch Raegan’s co-captain skills in action, which are much tamer compared to watching her lead the school with her presidential duties.

Surprisingly, my house is much tamer, too. It helps that Peach finally landed that bakery job in Claremore, which is a twenty-minute bus ride from Cedarville. She wakes up at four o’clock every morning to be at work at five to start prepping for the day, so my mornings are now Peach-free. This also means my dad is now in charge of breakfast, and I’m much more partial to his chocolate chip pancakes.

Because of the craziness of my Wavettes practices this week, I haven’t had time to get help with algebra. On the rare occasions Mrs. Donaldson allows us to work on homework in class, Alex leans over and tries to help me. But we always end up discussing the latest episode of Crime Boss or getting in a heated round of Would You Rather? where one of the answer choices is always Mrs. Donaldson.

“Would you rather nail your own foot to the ground or live with Mrs. Donaldson for a year?” I asked him on Thursday.

Alex adjusted his beanie before answering. I decided I liked the beanie. It was strangely fitting, like the way he always wore those double shirts.

“Ugh, I’d probably nail my foot. At least it’s over with quickly.”

“Really? You wouldn’t want to have resounding dinner debates on the latest mathematical theories?”

“Pass.”

“She probably makes a mean pi.”

He laughed. I always feel a swell of pride when I make him laugh.

I’m sitting with everyone at lunch on Thursday when Alex walks by our table with a lunch tray in his hands. He gives me a small smile when he sees me, nodding in my direction. I wave back.

Jay leans over and steals one of Breck’s chips. Unlike the button-down he wore to the party, he’s back to wearing his letterman jacket over a Cedarville Basketball T-shirt.

“So what are this year’s Spirit Week themes?” he asks Raegan.

Raegan closes her notebook. “I can’t officially announce them until next week.” She throws us a smug grin. “But they’re awesome.”

Even though all of us went to Breck’s party, Raegan doesn’t seem mad. But she also didn’t ask about it. I make a mental note to ask her to hang out this weekend—if she has time. It’s the least I can do to put an effort in our friendship, even if she isn’t holding grudges.

Breck tosses a Cheeto at her. “You’re no fun.”

Raegan glares at him. “Excuse me, do you know how hard it is to run an entire school while your mother’s experiencing pregnancy-related hormonal episodes?”