Twelve Steps to Normal(43)

“Yeah, for sure.” He opens his locker. “Want a ride? Carpooling seems like an approved Earth Club activity.”

I shrug. Why not?

“I’ll meet you in the parking lot,” I tell him, holding up my change of clothes.

“Sounds good.”

I head into the girls’ bathroom and lock myself in a stall. I send a quick text to Lin and tell her I’ll be there in a few, and then I pull on an old, faded tank top and my black dance shorts. I throw my hair up into a ponytail, grab my bag, and walk outside.

Alex is sitting in his truck, windows down. As I walk closer, I hear jazz blaring from his speakers.

I open the passenger door and climb in.

“Interesting music choice. Are you sixteen going on sixty?” I joke, then want to kick myself. Way to kick things off by making them awkward.

Alex jabs a finger at the dial, but I notice his face flush. “Ha ha. No. This thing’s stuck.”

I try and keep my voice even, playing it off. “To a jazz station? That’s unfortunate.”

“Tell me about it.” He puts the truck in drive. “But it’s made me well-versed in jazz musicians. You know, in case I’m ever on Jeopardy!”

I laugh and just like that, the tension breaks.

His Chevy is just as worn on the inside as it is on the outside. There’s a large crack running down his rearview mirror and chunks of leather are peeling away from his seats. The vents don’t blow any air, which is probably why the windows are rolled down, but he taps his hands on the wheel like it’s a brand-new BMW.

I notice he’s not wearing his infamous double shirts, but a plain white tee paired with black soccer shorts. Pieces of his dark curls fall over his eyebrows when he glances at me. I quickly look away, flustered. I don’t want him to think I’ve been, like, gawking at him.

This would be an ideal time to bring up his text.

i know my timing is off…

And yet, I can’t bring myself to start that conversation. Not when we’ve been getting along so well as friends. Besides, it’s Jay who I want to reconnect with. Even though he’s adopted a slightly full-of-himself attitude, he’s still the same Jay from freshman year. A person can’t change that much.

At least, that’s what I tell myself.

“Hey, so,” I begin, “wasn’t today supposed to be your last day of detention?”

“Yeah, but it turns out Mrs. Donaldson loves Lin. She was a star student in her geometry class last year,” he explains. “When I told her only five people signed up for the Earth Club cleanup and that Lin was bummed about it, she gave in and let me go do this instead.” He picks up a piece of paper from his console. “All Lin has to do is sign this to tell her I was there. For proof.”

I give a playful gasp. “You used my best friend as an excuse.”

“I didn’t, I swear.” He glances at me again. “I told you I was going to do this anyway. Even before detention. Besides, I need volunteer hours.”

“For what?”

“College apps. I figure I better start now so I’m not attempting to cram it all in my senior year.”

That’s a good point. Why hadn’t I thought of that? I’ve barely thought about college, let alone the SATs.

“Do you know where you want to go?”

Alex grows quiet for a moment. “I think I might stay fairly close. UT Austin or Rice, maybe the University of Oklahoma.” I notice the lack of excitement in his voice. “They have a good film program.”

I raise an eyebrow. “Want to try that once more, with feeling?”

Alex meets my gaze for a moment. He looks surprised that I’ve called him out, but what he doesn’t realize is that I am the queen of lackluster replies. I perfected my technique in Portland when I told my classmates I transferred due to my mom’s job. It was easier than explaining the truth. Besides, I’ve known Alex long enough to know that he’s wanted to attend film school in southern California since forever.

“It’s complicated,” is all he says.

I know that feeling well enough, so I don’t push him.

Alex pulls into the parking lot across from the lake. We don’t say anything as we get out and head toward Lin’s designated picnic table. Earth Club’s President, Holly Macintyre, is pulling on a pair of plastic gloves as Lin opens a box of trash bags.

Aside from the four of us, there’s Colton. Lin had to bribe him by buying him three slices of pizza at lunch, but he’s here. Well, physically here anyway. He’s wearing his headphones, no doubt daydreaming of playing stadium tours.

“Hey!” Lin says when she spots us. She takes a few steps away from Holly and whispers, “This turnout is awful. I’m so glad you’re here.”

“Don’t worry about it,” I tell her as she hands us a pair of gloves. “The next one will be better.”

She gives us an unsure smile.

Holly divides us into two groups. Alex and I will take the west side of the lake, and they’ll take the east. Lin reminds us to stay hydrated, gesturing to one of the water canisters they’ve borrowed from the football team. Then we split up.

There isn’t much trash on the picnic side of the park, so we wander to a secluded area of trees. That’s when we stumble upon an array of smashed beer cans, stained napkins, and forgotten tubes of ChapStick.