The Secrets We Keep(31)

I rolled my eyes. I didn’t need to know Jenna. I’d watched her flip off some random girl at school that day, for looking at whatever boy she had marked as her own, and heard her tear an exchange student a new one in the cafeteria the day before for accidentally sitting down in her seat.

“She’s mean, Maddy. No matter how you slice it, that girl is mean.”

“You would be too if you had her life.”

I highly doubted that, but whatever, I’d bite. “Why? What possible excuse are you going to make for her?”

“She went to the same elementary and middle school as Alex,” Maddy began. “She has lived next door to him since first grade, and their parents are good friends.”

I found that interesting, or at least it made sense as to why Maddy had started hanging out with her to begin with—they had Alex in common.

“Her mom is insanely neurotic about appearances and her dad is never around. He works overseas or something, barely even calls when he’s traveling.”

I shrugged. Josh’s dad was a pilot and was gone for days at a time, but Josh wasn’t a jerk because of it. “So?”

“Everything has to be perfect in their world. Her room, her hair, her grades, everything. I’m over there nearly every day and the only things I have ever heard her parents say to her are ‘Why can’t you be as smart as your brother?’ and ‘Why can’t you be as pretty as your sister?’ Never once have I heard them say ‘Good job’ or ‘It’s okay, we love you the way you are.’ Not once. But you know what Alex says?”

I shook my head. Alex never said much of anything to me, with the exception of “Hey” whenever he came to pick up Maddy. So no, I had no idea what his take on Jenna was. And to be honest, I don’t think I actually cared.

“Alex says it’s a show. That they borrowed money from his parents last week to cover their mortgage.”

“She told you this?” I asked, amazed that Jenna would show any vulnerability to my sister.

“No, Alex did, but he made me swear not to tell anyone, so you can’t either.”

Who was I going to tell? Josh? I doubted he cared about Jenna’s personal life any more than I did, which was already very little. “So you’re saying it’s okay for somebody to be mean because they have crappy parents?”

Maddy sighed and tossed the TV remote aside. She was irritated, as if trying to explain her best friend’s motives to me was a chore. “No, Ella, I’m saying her life sucks. Dad doesn’t care whether I make the varsity team this year or if you end up valedictorian. And Mom doesn’t swallow a handful of pills just so she can get out of bed and put her makeup on each morning. Jenna’s the way she is because not being the best at everything isn’t an option for her. It’s the only way to get her parents’ attention, the only time her father ever acknowledges her existence.”

I didn’t buy that excuse three years ago when Maddy first fed it to me, and I wasn’t buying it now. Sure, maybe Jenna became self-centered, competitive, and mean to earn her father’s attention, but somewhere along the line it stopped being about her parents’ approval and became all about her.

“She’s your best friend,” the girl said to Jenna as she smoothed out the wrinkles in the center of the poster. “Don’t you think you should talk to her? I mean, maybe see if you can help?”


I smiled at her words. I may not have known who she was, but the way she quietly tried to defend me made me feel better and more at ease with some of my sister’s friends.

“Alex will make sure she’s okay,” Jenna replied as she adjusted one of the streamers so it didn’t cover the poster. “And, according to him, she’s steps away from a total breakdown. I’m supposed to give her some space and not bother her too much.”

She was right, I’d give her that. Since I’d come home from the hospital, I’d refused to leave the house, refused to see anyone but my parents and Alex. He’d been given depressed-Maddy duty. Jenna had called a million times the first few days, but I’d either let her calls go to voice mail or had Alex talk to her. The longer I refused to answer, the fewer calls came. Or so I thought at first. Then I realized the calls had kept coming, but they were now going to Alex’s phone and not Maddy’s.

“Wait. What? You’ve been talking to Alex? We asked him how she was doing, but he won’t tell any of us a thing. He keeps saying she’s fine. How did you get him to talk to you?”

“I’m her best friend, remember?” Jenna’s sarcasm had me wanting to reach through time and space to grab my sister and shake her. Maddy could have done better than this, she’d deserved a better friend than Jenna. “Plus, I have known Alex since first grade. I probably know him better than Maddy does. Of course he talks to me. About everything,” Jenna added.

I didn’t know Alex well, but I’d stake my life on the fact that he didn’t tell Jenna much of anything … not when it involved Maddy, anyway. He kept her secrets safe, protected her with a fierceness that almost made me jealous.

I watched as Jenna unrolled a giant poster, one that, from the looks of it, had been professionally printed. She had matching tape, too—the exact same shade as the pink block lettering she’d used to spell out her name.

“You sure that’s the best place for that?”