The Lesbiana's Guide to Catholic School(76)

“Hey, I needed a job, and no one else was calling me back!” It’s an empty excuse. Working for Emma would have been my top choice.

“Well, if you decide to quit, you better not make it weird. You should still come over and stuff.” It’s nice talking on the phone, because I can blush or smile or whatever and she’ll have no idea.

“It’ll definitely be weird, but I’ll still come over.”

“You better. I already miss you. This house feels so empty now.”

“I miss you too,” I admit, since I didn’t say it back the last time. I kind of wish I could have been the first to say it, but Bo keeps beating me to the punch. There’s some background music on the line that I can’t make out. It almost sounds like . . . “What are you listening to?”

“Selena.” She says it like the word isn’t Cupid’s arrow shooting me right in the heart. “I was waiting for you to notice. I’ve been listening to her a lot since you left. I totally get why you’re obsessed.”

“I’m so proud,” I say, making my voice choke up. She laughs.

“Well, I have to do some homework. I’ll see you later!”

“See you later,” I say, trying not to sound disappointed. I could talk to her all night. Instead I keep my hands busy for hours. When the house goes dark, I rely on my phone flashlight since I don’t want to wake anyone up by turning on the light. When the battery dies, my eyes adjust, and I work through heavy hands and heavy eyes through the night.

“Why are you still awake?” I don’t realize it’s the middle of the night until Cesar comes into the living room and calls me out for still working.

“Lost track of time, I guess.” I yawn and finish up the last couple of beads on the necklace I’m making. Cesar sits down next to me.

“Why are you still awake?” I ask.

“Same reason as always.”

“What’s that?” I tilt my head, hands still moving on their own despite my sore fingers. I guess I knew he didn’t sleep well, since he falls asleep in class so much, but I kind of assumed it was the extra homework or something keeping him up.

“I don’t know. Brain won’t shut up.”

I nod, way too tired to process anything.

“You need help?” he asks.

“Sure.”

He starts weaving a bracelet of his own. We sit there weaving in silence for a while. I’m about to fall asleep working when he talks again.

“I didn’t mean what I said before. . . .”

“What?”

“I wasn’t mad at you for covering for me. I was mad ’cause I didn’t deserve it. You deserve better.”

I look up and catch his eyes for the first time tonight. They’re red and puffy, like he might have been crying.

“?Qué te pasa? You okay?”

“I’m tired.” He yawns. “Night, Yami.” He leaves his half-finished thread on the couch and goes back to his room. Instead of following him with more questions, I get back to work.

After I finish my trial period as Emma’s assistant and officially get the job, I feel like my life is a broken record. If anything interesting is happening, I don’t notice because I’m stuck on repeat. School. Homework. Work. Sleep. School. Homework. Work. Sleep. School. Work. Work. Work. School. Work. Work. Work. Work. Work . . .

Before I know it, it’s been over a month, and I actually have a decent amount of money saved up. I spend less money now that I have it than I did when I was broke. I want to keep growing my cushion for when I’m on my own. Then I’ll get a full-time job when I’m done with school. My conversation with Cesar told me one thing: even my dad thinks Mami will kick me out if she finds out. That knocks me into high gear.

The worst part about working so much is having to miss out on group hangouts and having to blow off Cesar when he wants to hang out or get Takis, which is almost every day. Lunch at school is the only time I get any social interaction anymore.

“Isn’t your birthday this weekend? What are you gonna do?” Amber asks.

“I need the money, so I’ll be working.” I almost didn’t realize it was coming up.

“But we have to celebrate!” Amber grabs my shoulders and shakes them. David and Bo chime in with a chorus of yeahs.

“Sorry! I have two jobs, and pretty much all my free time goes to homework.” My birthday is on a Saturday this year, but I can’t even celebrate it late during the week because I’m so behind on schoolwork.

They all frown. We share a moment of silence to mourn my social life.

“I have an idea,” Amber says.

“I’m listening,” I say.

“We can do something during the day.”

“You mean like ditching?” David’s eyes get wide.

“Yeah, I mean it’s just one day. We’ll do it on Monday! We can’t let her not celebrate her birthday.” Amber frowns at him.

“I think it’s perfect! What do you think, Yami?” Bo smiles at me.

“Do you think Jamie would mind?” I ask, since Monday is Valentine’s Day. “Maybe you can bring her?” Why would I say that? I don’t want to celebrate my birthday with Bo’s girlfriend.

“Who’s Jamie?” Amber asks.