Haunted(16)

“I talked to Phoebe today. I realized I haven’t visited as much as I should have.”

“You work, you have a new boyfriend, and let’s not forget Benjamin. Hey, has Benjamin bit the new boyfriend yet?”

“Twice.”

We both busted out laughing.

“Well, I don’t think Benjamin likes men. Maybe you should start dating girls?”

“Naw…did it in college. I prefer penis.”

“That’s what a vibrator is for, but I have to agree, penis is nice.”

“Hey, I made you something.”

My curiosity peaked. Made? She handed me a CD in a case.

“What’s this?”

“Well, last night I was thinking about you a lot. Thinking about all that you’ve been going through, and I had a deep thought I wanted to share with you.”

“Okay?”

I turned to face her on the couch.

“Jason. He didn’t break you, Beth. He made you f*cking stronger, and that’s the way you need to look at that. I think it’s up to you how you choose to handle it. So choose to make it empowering. Let Jason and Tate be stepping stones that make you stronger.”

“Wow, you really have thought about this.”

“I want you to do something for me. I made you a theme song CD of empowering music that somewhat fits your situations. Your depression, Jason and Tate, your family, Joey…they’re all moments that have knocked you down and you have risen from them. I want you to take Beast and go for a long drive. I know how you love to drive and sing in the car. I already have a really cold twenty-ounce bottle of Coke in the cup holder, and as my gift to you, I will pay for one speeding ticket, just one.”

My eyes were tearing up. “Eve…this is the most thoughtful present I think anyone has ever given me. Not only are you going to let me drive Beast, you made me a mix CD. That is something cheesy I would usually do, so for you to do it for me is…” I jumped up and gave her a huge hug. “Let’s go.”

“No. You go. You need time to think about winning this war with your mind.”

“Okay.” I grabbed my shoes. “Do you still have my spare keys in your purse?”

“Yep. Now listen, tomorrow I’ll come here at eleven a.m. to trade back cars. You dress up pretty. Put on some makeup to show off those extra ten pounds you’ve lost. Then you and I will go to a nice restaurant and make a day out of it. Maybe I’ll take you to a Channing Tatum film.”

“It’s a date.” I hugged her again and laughed. “Excuse me, Beast is waiting for me.”

We hurried out the door and I locked up the house. I ran over to Beast, a 2005 White RX8. She was a high-maintenance bitch, but Eve loved her and I did too. Beast was a lemon, but f*ck she was beautiful. Eve had put in a new engine, new transmission, new catalytic convertor, new sensor board…oh Beast was a bitch, but she was fast as shit. She was a six speed to top it off and tonight Beast was mine. I lowered myself into the driver’s side and put the CD in the player.

I shut the door and rolled down both windows. I looked at Eve and then picked up my ice cold Coke. I opened it and heard the gases escape and took my first sip. Perfection!

“Remember, after you start her, you can’t turn her off until the motor is warm.”

“I remember.”

“Be careful because one day I am giving this car to Joey, so don’t wreck it.”

“Not until he is twenty-five you aren’t!”

“Agreed!”

I knew Eve meant it. Apparently, Eve and Joey bonded after I was taken. They grew close, and Eve reminded Joey how much I loved him while I was gone.

She walked to my white CRV as I drove out of the driveway. After I got out of my neighborhood and turned onto the highway, I took off. I loved to drive! It was so similar to riding a horse. The season was turning autumn and the nighttime had that fall feeling—my favorite time of year. I turned on the CD and listened. Eve had picked f*cking great music and I could tell by the lyrics they all pertained to me somehow.

The first song was “People like Us” by Kelly Clarkson. Beside the song, Eve had written 121 million people suffer from depression; you are not alone. I started singing to the fast paced song while picking some of the best mountain highways to zip through. Eve had written the names of the songs in the case with messages beside each song.

The second song was “The Kill” by 30 Seconds to Mars she’d written, For when you feel like you are going to break. Beside the third song, “Stand” by Rascal Flatts, she’d written, Because every time you get pushed down, you Stand!

“Shake It Out” by Florence and the Machine was the fourth song and Eve had written the message, Wow…I remember you told me this song reminds you of your depression. I googled the words to this song and I started to cry. To think you might feel like this with your depression makes me want to just hold you. I get it now. Shake it off, Beth, and dance!

Bon Jovi’s “Have a Nice Day” followed with the words, Well this song pretty much tells everyone to f*ck off, so, therefore, I like it.

“One More Night” by Maroon 5 had the words, Okay…now it is time to just have fun.

I drove for two hours, drinking Coke and singing until I lost my voice. It was the best time I’d had since the last time I’d made love to Roman. I miss him. I would take Eve’s advice and look at Jason and Tate as stepping stones, because that’s what they were, dirt up under my feet. Then I proceeded to do something I hadn’t let myself do since that wonderful ride with my horse.