With This Heart(55)

I grasped his face and shoved my tongue into his mouth to break off his statement. I didn’t want it slow and sweet. My body needed Beck more than I’ve ever needed anything else. The last few days had been a living hell and being there with Beck felt like I was putting a healing salve on my heart. At the heart of everything, I just needed him to take me against the wall of his living room and make me feel more than I’d ever dared imagine.

My hands found his shorts and I pressed them down so that he was left in his boxers. He groaned, deep and husky, into my mouth as my fingers brushed against him through the material. I wanted him so badly that I thought I might tear his boxers off with my hands. But I wasn’t a cave woman and I’d probably end up trying and failing, thus looking like an idiot. He tugged off my shirt and bra, leaving us pressed against his wall in our underwear.

My heart skidded to a stop and then it picked up beating twice as fast as I realized how close we were to the final act. I pressed my hands against his chest and pushed him away from me gently. I didn’t want him to stop; I just needed one moment to savor the flavor. It was the feeling you get when you cut a big piece of chocolate cake and you know your taste buds are about to be overloaded with decadent sweetness. I just needed to look at him and let the moment sink in so that I could enjoy every single bite.

His hazel eyes were dark and sexy. His hair was tousled from my hands. His chest was just as I remembered from watching him swim: tan and toned with just the right amount of six pack hardening his entire appearance. There was a story behind his smile as his eyes met mine. He was thinking thoughts I wished desperately to know.

“ You’re so beautiful,” he told me.

“ You haven’t even seen the best part,” I joked.

His hazel eyes turned a shade darker as he stared toward me. “I’ve already tasted it, Abby.” Visions of us in the back of the Camper swept through my mind, turning my desire up another notch. I stood there in a daze as he bolted from the room, only to return a second later with a condom in his hand.

“ Aren’t you getting a little ahead of yourself?” I teased as he stepped closer to me.

“ Am I?” he dared, kissing my neck.

“ No,” I murmured.

Our eyes locked as he trailed his hand down my stomach while the other rested against the wall beside my head. He had me trapped in the best possible way and I felt my insides quiver as his fingers trailed over my belly button down to the bottom of my stomach. That skin was so sensitive; it wasn’t accustomed to being touched by seductive fingers.

“ Beck, have you had sex before?” I asked, not even realizing the question was brewing in my mind until I heard the words pass between us.

His lip curled up on the edge. “Yes, Abby.”

Now that the knowledge was out there, my mind was brimming with questions.

“ Were they with pretty girls or just girls you met at a party?” I asked, needing to know everything. “Were you dating them?”

His finger trailed along the top of my underwear, pulling the fabric a centimeter away from my skin so that his finger could replace it. I felt my stomach quiver with desire even as I waited for him to answer.

“ I hooked up with a few girls that didn’t mean anything, and I’ve had sex with girlfriends before. I always used protection, and no, I never loved any of them.” That answer shocked me. He didn’t love them? How is that possible? With that many girls, I would’ve thought at least one would have wormed her way into his heart like I was trying desperately to do.

“ None of them?” I asked while arching my back so that he could have easier access to the edge of my underwear. He grinned in acknowledgment of what I was doing.

“ No,” he shrugged, obviously wanting the conversation to move onto more pertinent things.

“ I don’t love you,” I blurted, because I felt like I did and I needed to feel like I had control of the situation again. He was pushing me toward a precipice and it felt like he knew what I felt before I’d even acknowledged it. It wasn’t fair and I needed him to know that he didn’t hold all the cards.

“ Are you sure?” he asked before stealing a kiss. My eyes fluttered closed. Had his mouth not been stealing every ounce of will power from my body, I would have grinned at his cheesy confidence. It was like he wanted me to love him. He was daring me to let myself fall, and for a brief moment, I decided that I would accept his challenge. Bring it on, Beck .

My hands pushed his boxers down and a moment later my underwear was following their descent. We were beautifully naked and I tried hard not to feel self-conscious. I let his skin consume mine and I let him press me back against the living room wall once again. Except this time he didn’t trap me with his hands. He trailed kisses down my neck, down my stomach, taking each breast into his mouth and swirling his tongue around my nipples. I arched into his mouth. He kissed down my stomach, licking a trail over my flushed skin. He continued his descent until he was on his knees, looking up at me with a cheeky grin.

“ I think this is my favorite angle of you.” He smirked and I tried to imagine what he saw. His face was right at the base of my stomach. His gaze sloped up my stomach and my breasts. My wild strawberry-blonde hair was fanned out around my face as I stared down at him.

Then I watched as he dipped his head and licked me there once, slowly, ending right before he reached the spot where I needed him the most. My mouth fell open as I watched him trace along my sensitive flesh. Holy. Then he held my eye contact as he dipped his tongue lower. Meeting his eyes felt like another dare. He looked sinful and confident and I didn’t blink once.