With This Heart(53)

“ I’m not sure.” I stared at my Mary Jane heels.

“ It was just getting started, Abby. Think about it,” he answered before dipping down and kissing my cheek. I inhaled his scent and warmth before he turned and walked away.

…



I did think about it. I thought about it as I grocery shopped with my mom. I thought about it as I went to my weekly check-up. My doctor was reprimanding me about missing my appointment and then she mentioned something about increasing my medication dosage. My mom took notes while I thought about Beck’s question and stared at Dr. Pierce’s mahogany desk. When I’d come in for the appointment, I tried to find Alyssa, but I guess she wasn’t working that day. I still had the note she gave me tucked safely inside my wallet. It was taunting me. The fact that I had the address on me at all times. Maybe I’d never use it.

My mom dragged me back to the career counselor for another hour-long session. At least this time my counselor had the results from my career aptitude test. Apparently, I was most suited to be one of the following:



1. Park Ranger

2. Biomedical Engineer

3. Accountant

4. Writer



How in the hell she had arrived at any of those four jobs was beyond my understanding.

“ I’m not sure I want to do any of those,” I admitted, looking up toward Dr. Lucas.

She smiled knowingly toward me. One of those slow, condescending smiles that basically said ‘oh, sweet naive little girl ’.

“ Those are just starting points, Abby. From here, we’ll narrow down other career paths and then decide where you should apply for college.”

I zoned out and decided to spend the remainder of our meeting thinking of Caroline and Beck. They would have been good friends. They were both optimistic and friendly. I would have been the cynical glue that held the group together.



I texted Beck later that day.

Abby : I’m apparently suited for one of the following jobs: Park ranger, writer, accountant, and some weird type of engineering…


Beck : Who told you those were your career options?

Abby : My life coach.

Beck : Seems like the sort of thing you find out by living and trying different things out…

Abby : Do you want to be my new counselor?

Beck : Conflict of interest…

Abby : Oh…



I smiled at the idea that he still liked me, but I wasn’t going to question it. Maybe the stars aligned perfectly when he walked into the funeral home and he was helpless to my alluring charm.



Abby : How was dinner with your dad?

Beck : He wasn’t too thrilled, but he isn’t paying for my school, so there isn’t much he could do about it. I know I’m making the right choice though.

Abby : I’m glad you told him.

Beck : Me too.

Abby : Could you send me your address?

Beck : Why?

Abby : Reasons…





[page]CHAPTER TWENTY





This time it would be different, I called my mom and told her what my plan was. She wasn’t comfortable with the idea of me road tripping around the state with a relative stranger, but she knew there was nothing she could really do about it. After all, we’d already done it once and survived.

I packed everything I needed, sans urn, and shoved it all into my car before heading toward the address Beck had sent over last night. The roads were empty since it was early on a Saturday morning. I’d planned ahead, thinking it would take me longer to get to his apartment, but when I pulled up next to his grandfather’s Camper it was barely seven am. Whoops. He was going to kill me.

I tried to pass some time, rearranging my CDs and making sure the iPod speakers would work sitting on top of my car. After the sun had fully risen and there was nothing left to do, I hit call and waited for him to answer. He didn’t pick up until the fifth ring.

“ Sorry that I woke you up!” I exclaimed into the phone before he had a chance to groan at how early it was. “I didn’t have a choice. I couldn’t sleep and so I left my house earlier than I had planned, and there was no traffic.”

“ What are you talking about?” Beck laughed, but his voice still held tones of sleepiness.

“ Come outside after you put some clothes on.”

“ How did you know I wasn’t wearing clothes?”

My cheeks reddened at the thought. “You told me you slept in your boxers usually and I was guessing, but wow…now that I know that you’re naked...”

“ Did you call me at seven to have phone sex?”

I laughed an embarrassing laugh to cover up how much his question flustered me.

“ I’ll be out in a second,” he answered, and then hung up.

I scrambled out of the car and set up the speakers so that they would face his apartment building, then got ready so I could press play on the iPod as soon as I saw him. My heart raced. I was so nervous; I was putting my feelings on the line and if Beck laughed or thought I was a cheesy dork, I wasn’t sure how well I’d take it.

There was a thumping of feet on the stairs and I peered up to see him making his way toward the first-floor landing. I panicked and hit play as quickly as I could. John Denver’s guitar started streaming through the speakers followed swiftly by his soft melody. I reached over and turned the speakers up high right as Beck rounded the staircase and came into view.