When You're Mine (MINE #3)(33)
The hostess guided us to our table, and when Barrett pulled out my chair for me to sit, his mouth found my ear. “This place is famous for their fried pickles. I knew for sure, you of all people would appreciate that.”
Picking up the menu, I caught the chill pickle at the top and smiled. “I didn’t think it was possible.”
“What?”
I leaned forward, holding his eyes. “To love you more.”
“I’ll spend a lifetime buying you pickles if it earns me smiles like that.”
The place was small, intimate. Mostly older married couples flocked the tables around us. For a brief moment I thought about the future, and what it would be like to have one with him. How wonderful it would be. Then reality came crashing in, robbing me of my hopes and dreams. I shoved the future aside, content to hold on to the present.
On the ride home, the easy conversation we’d enjoyed all night shifted to more serious topics. Ones I’d rather avoid. “I need to go back to Boston,” Barrett said, shifting his eyes from the road to me.
Looking down at my folded hands, I tried to hold back the tears. “When?”
“Next few days,” Barrett reached over and grabbed my hand, lacing our fingers together. Bringing the back of my hand to his lips, he kissed it softly. “I’m quitting my job.”
“What?”
“I want to be with you.”
“Barrett, you can’t quit your job just to be with me, that’s crazy.”
“I know, but I can’t be away from you. You’re here, so this is where I need to be.”
This was really happening. Love poured from my eyes in a slow steady stream. This man loved me. Wanted to be with me. Forever, from the way he spoke. Suddenly, reality came crashing in fast and hard. Untangling my fingers from his, I crossed my arms over my aching chest. “I won’t let you do that.”
“Well, lucky for me it’s not your decision to make.” He shifted away from me. “It’s already done anyway. I just have to go tell my father and settle up a few things. This was not the reaction I was hoping for.” he said, his voice filled with uncertainty.
Silence.
I needed to think and I couldn’t do that around him. As soon as we pulled into my driveway, I rushed out of the car and into the house, locking myself inside of the bathroom.
Burying my face in my hands, I cried. I cried for the choices I’d made and the truths I continued to deny. I cried for me, for him, and the love we shared, for the love that would be lost. I cried until I couldn’t cry anymore then climbed in the shower, and cried some more.
I can’t change the direction
of the wind but I can adjust my sails to
always reach my destination.
~ Jimmy Dean
It was inevitable, I had to go back. For how long, I wasn’t sure, but I had a plan. I’d emailed Madison yesterday while Tabitha napped, and after receiving her response this morning, it had finalized my decision. I had hoped Tabitha would be on board with it as well, but judging by her reaction, it wasn’t good. She’d been in the bathroom for a while now. The shower had been running for the last fifteen minutes. I thought for sure she would be happy. No… over the f*cking moon about me wanting to be here with her, but the moment the words left my mouth, her whole attitude changed. Her walls went back up. Something I thought was long gone, considering what we’d shared with one another. Granted, I still had a lot of shit to tell her, but I thought we were well past this bullshit.
Clearly not.
I was hurt, a little pissed, and a whole lot of confused. What would make her react that way? Especially after the last few days? I had my hand on the knob of the bathroom, eager to get to the bottom of it, when I heard a series of loud thumps coming from the other side of the door. I twisted the knob.
Locked.
“Tabitha, open up,” I waited, pressing my ear to the door, all I could hear was running water. Pounding the wood, I ordered once more. “Open the damn door now!”
Nothing.
Panic bubbled in my gut, and a shot of adrenaline rushed through my veins. With a swift kick, I gained entry. My heart plunged to the floor. I blinked several times, dread settling over me like a cold wet blanket before I put my heavy feet into motion. With one leg dangling from the side of the tub, Tabitha was slumped over, head tilted to the side as if she were sleeping, but the blood trickling down the side of her head contradicted that ridiculous notion. I shut off the water, pulling my phone from my pocket. My trembling fingers fumbled to unlock the screen to make the call. I put the device on speaker, placing it on the counter before I gently pulled Tabitha from the tub and settled her on my lap. I reached for the towel hanging behind me to cover her body.
“911, where’s your emergency?”
As calmly as I could, considering I was holding her precious life in my arms, I gave the dispatcher the information she requested. I looked down at her pale face and I began to rock back and forth, a million questions running through my mind. With her lifeless body lying limp and heavy in my arms, I swallowed past the tight knot in my throat. I was too afraid to check her pulse. Terrified to know if I’d lost the only woman I’d ever loved. Instead, I kissed the freckles that lined the bridge of her nose and pressed a reverent kiss on top of both of her eyelids, moving down to her chilly lips. I felt the air from her nose faintly whisper across my upper lip and my heart sighed with relief.