When You're Mine (MINE #3)(38)

“Why are you here?”

I twisted my hands in front of me. “I’m so happy for Maddie, and for you.”

He lifted his chin in thanks. “That it?”

Damn, this was going to be harder than I thought. I mean, I knew I would have to work for it, but the way he was treating me made me feel like it was impossible.

“No,” I took a deep breath, determined to see this through. “I’m sorry about what happened. I’m sorry for… everything and I’m hoping that…”

“What’s done is done, Tabitha. You made your choice. Only reason I’m still here is because Madison and I made this deal before you decided to shut me out.”

“I was only trying to protect you.”

“Protect me from what? Life? I’m a big boy, I don’t need you to protect me. Unlike some people, I know how to deal with the hard shit.”

Ouch.

He shuffled his feet, tugging at the back of his neck. “We done?”

“No,” I dug deep, miraculously discovering the courage to just spit it out. “I’m still pregnant.”

Dropping his arms, he took a step forward. “What?”

“I was never going to…” Nausea rolled in my belly, revolting at the thought. Even if I were dying, I could never destroy what we created. The circumstances were unfortunate, yes, but I regret nothing. “I should have never pushed you away.”

“You’re pregnant?” I nodded.

God, please let him touch me.

“I’m going to be a father,” he whispered, shoving his hands into his pocket along with my all my hope. I nodded again. Words trapped behind the sob hanging in the back of my throat. The happiness beaming from his face moments ago evaporated, leaving me sad and cold. “You hurt me. Again,” His words were laced with a sharp bite.

Wiping at my face, I accepted my punishment. His anger, his pain, and that look in his eyes… all my fault. “I know. I’m so sorry, Barrett. I was just… so afraid. Afraid to face reality, afraid of losing you, afraid of so many things.” I swallowed hard and went for it. “I’m hoping there’s still a chance for us.”

Icy blue eyes held mine. “No.”

I looked down at my feet. Barrett would love and care for this baby no matter what. I had no doubt about that, but could he ever forgive the woman who tried to take that all away from him? The tips of his shiny black shoes came into view. With a lot of effort, I pulled my tear filled eyes to his. The same blue eyes that once held so much warmth and love were now cold and guarded. Maddie’s words came rushing in.

As long as you have faith, you will find your way back to each other.

“You broke my heart, not once, but twice.”

Just hearing those words crushed me. How could I have faith when every word he spoke said we were through? I had no excuse for the things I’d done. I had to suck it up and live with the consequences. “Whatever you need, just let me know. As of right now, I only plan on being in town two weeks out of the month, but I can make other arrangements if necessary. Also, I would like to have paperwork drawn up, outlining my rights as a father, so there’s no confusion in the future.”

“I would never keep your child from you, Barrett.”

“How do I know that?” His words were like an angry sword, slicing through my heart. Shoving his hands into his pockets, he continued. “I would like to attend all doctor’s visits as well. If that’s ok with you?”

In that moment, I permanently traded hope for faith. I would do whatever I had to do to win back his heart. The only thing I had on my side was time, but it was all I needed. “I can agree to that.”

“Perfect. Anything else?”

“My next appointment is Thursday at 9am. I’ll text you the address.”

“Sounds good.”

This was going to be so hard. Being around him, but not being able to touch him or kiss him. I turned to leave, but his hand caught my elbow, much like he did the night in the pub. My God, that seemed like a lifetime ago. “Madison told me the news, about the tumor.” He released my arm. “I was happy to hear it.”

Faith.

“Yeah, me too.” I smiled. “I’ll be in touch.” I had my hand on the door when I remembered.

Shit.

Spinning back around, I called to his retreating back. “Barrett?”

“Yeah?”

“Would you mind giving me a ride?”

With a nod, and a smile that revealed that hidden dimple, Barrett escorted me home. Maybe we would find our way back to each other. Maybe we wouldn’t. Either way, I had to believe we would to be ok.





The greatest healing therapy is friendship and love.

~ Hubert H. Humphrey





When I imagined a future with the woman I loved, this was not how I envisioned it at all. At one time I’d planned on making her mine in every way possible. Marriage, children, one of those badass M-class SUVs. But I never saw myself here, planting roots in this tiny southern town, on the brink of fatherhood.

Without her.

Tabitha and I had fallen into a comfortable friendship over the last few months. We were going to be raising a child together after all, so I made every effort to make sure our relationship remained a good one, for the sake of our baby at least. I attended every doctor’s visit, and just last week, we’d seen our baby for the first time on one of those 3D ultra sounds. Hearing the heartbeat, watching as tiny fists waved frantically back and forth. You couldn’t wipe the smile off my face. We decided early on that we did not want to know the sex of the baby. This did not make my mother happy, but she was excited about having another grandchild. My family has been very supportive. They wished Tabitha and I were together, as in together, but they were no less thrilled with the fact that I was finally settling down. Even if it was in the most unconventional way.