When You're Mine (MINE #3)(31)

I nodded.

Once he had the necklace in place, he landed a kiss to the side of my neck. “Now, let’s go to town before I take you back to bed.”





We loved with a love that was more than love.

~ Edgar Allan Poe





I’d been going out of my mind with worry, not only about the shit Brent had hanging over my head, but about her, too. All I knew was… I wanted her back. And I would do whatever I had to do to make it happen. A few days after the incident with Brent, I went to her apartment. I wanted answers. I banged on her door for a good half hour before management came and escorted me from the building. I’d left about a hundred voicemails, giving the word stalker a whole new definition of crazy. Her phone was still in service, but her voicemail was full and my text messages continued to go unanswered. Returning to her apartment a few days later, I was greeted by management again. They told me Tabitha had vacated the property. Of course, they weren’t allowed to give me a forwarding address.

I told my father I was taking some time off until I decided what the hell I was going to do. I spent the first two weeks swimming in a bottle of bourbon, trying to come to terms with the mess that had become my life. Once I realized the alcohol was getting me nowhere, I did everything within my power to find her. Thinking if I had her, I could figure out the rest. Desperate, I hired a private investigator, who eventually tracked her down here-of all places. I don’t know why I didn’t think about calling Madison before. Since arriving last night and spending the entire day with her, I was finally beginning to regain some clarity. I still had a lot of shit to figure out, but there was one thing I knew for certain.

All I wanted… was her.

Later, after we went to town and long after dinner, we settled on the lounge on her back deck. The house was incredible, perched up on a steep hill overlooking a private lake. Tall oak trees and pines surrounded the property, providing a decent amount of shade. The sun had almost set, casting incredible rays of light across the darkening sky. With her back pressed to my front, head lying on my chest, I felt like I could breathe again. “I think I have the best seat in the house.” I tightened my arms around her waist.

Her hand found the top of mine, threading our fingers together. “Beautiful isn’t it?”

“What made you want to move here?”

Tabitha exhaled a long breath, relaxing further into me. “A combination of things, I guess. Mostly because I wanted a fresh start. I wasted a lot of years trying to fill a void, unsuccessfully I might add. I thought if I could carve a new path, my own path, I could somehow find a way to fill some of that emptiness I’ve always felt.”

“Did it work?”

“Yes,” she sighed. “For the most part. But, I’ve come to realize there’s only one thing that could make it go away completely.”

“And what’s that?”

Twisting in my lap, her eyes met mine. “You,” She propped her chin up on folded hands. “After my mother died, I had no one. My father worked constantly. I spent most of my time alone.” Tabitha looked down at my chest, her fingers nervously tugging the sleeve of my shirt. “When Joshua moved to town a few years later, everything changed. At first, I thought he just felt sorry for me. I was kind of pathetic looking back then. Stringy red hair, face full of freckles,” She sucked in a deep breath. “We were inseparable. Everyone at school was just as dumbfounded as me. Why would someone as hot as him want to be with a geek like me? We started out as friends, doing homework together after school. Went to the movies. Hung out. Girls were forever trying to get him to go out with them, but he would always turn them down. When I asked him why, he would always say… I’m just waiting for the right girl. No way did I ever think I would be that girl. I fell hard. Was already in love with him by the time he began to show interest. Planned my entire future around him. Everything down to the number of kids we would have and where we would live.” Shaking her head, she closed her eyes. “I was so blind. Joshua wasn’t looking for the right girl, he was looking for the right fool. We were together throughout the remainder of high school. Then when we graduated, I was pushed to follow my father’s footsteps to Harvard, while Joshua accepted a scholarship to NYU. The distance became a strain. On me mostly. He seemed to be adjusting well. I felt like I was losing him. So I flew in one weekend to surprise him. Even bought some sexy lingerie. Again, completely oblivious. When he didn’t come to the door, I went inside and came face to face with the truth. Joshua had another guy bent over his sofa. He was gay. Had been his entire life. He used me. Said he was too afraid to come out to his parents, to me… to everyone. He still has yet to come out. After that, I shut down. It was either use or be used.”

Cupping her cheeks, I held her eyes. “No wonder you were so determined to keep me out.”

She dropped her gaze to my chest again. “I’ve been running away from life for so long, I forgot how to live. So when I found this place, I knew it was time. Time for me to let go of my past. If I couldn’t have love, at least I could have peace. Then you happened.”

I hoisted her further up my body until we were face to face, eye to eye. “That explains a lot. At first I thought you were still hung up on the whole Maddie thing, but I see now what the real issue was.”

“I was hung up on the Maddie thing a little. I mean, you two slept together, it was hard to look past it at first. But my hang up was mostly my fear of falling for you knowing I was moving away. Knowing I would lose you.”