Warrior (First to Fight #1)(26)
“Why are there cops at your house at two in the morning?” Ben asks without preamble. As though he hadn’t spent a good part of the past year incommunicado. As though I don’t have a life-changing baby upstairs.
I struggle to gather my wits over the blood rushing through my ears. A million thoughts race through my mind, none of which are the answer to his question. “Break-in,” I manage to say.
He tilts his head toward me, a furrow between his brows. I notice something wrapped around his ear, but I’m distracted when his curious expression hardens. I’m reminded of the fact that he must have just returned from his deployment. I can tell from the deep lines around his eyes and mouth that weren’t there the last time I saw him that he hasn’t slept. I resist the urge to trace them with my fingers.
“What are you doing here, Ben?” I ask faintly.
“I was driving by and saw the lights. I wanted to make sure you were okay.” His eyes roam over my body, no doubt taking in my state of undress and calculating the possibility of injury. “Are you okay?”
I nod faintly, my ears perking up at the sound of a cry in the distance. My heart stutters in my chest. I’m not ready for this. I thought the few months after Cole’s birth would have given me time to prepare for this very conversation. But it hasn’t. Especially not after my father’s death, Cole’s diagnosis, and tonight’s fresh trauma. How much can one person handle before they break?
“Olivia,” he says sharply when I don’t respond.
I refocus and clear my throat. “I’m fine. Logan got here just in time.”
Speaking of, I feel his presence at my back. I turn to let them both say their hellos, but a frigid tension lingers. They both eye each other, and I hurry to explain. “Thankfully, I was able to call the police while I could. Logan and his partner were able to scare whoever it was off before any harm was done. Well, aside from my door. And my window.”
Ben nods at Logan in a gesture of gratitude, I surmise. A loud squawk comes from the baby monitor I’d placed on the kitchen counter. I wince at the sound, but use the interruption to flee the situation.
“Excuse me,” I tell them, face burning and shame roiling in my chest. So I do the thing I hate most: I run. Their murmured conversation follows me up the stairs, but my mind is racing too much for me to concentrate.
Instead, I tiptoe over the mess left in my room and lift my baby’s small body against my own. Cole provides a welcome reprieve. Even through the chaos, there is something about holding him that calms me. Since my father died, it’s felt like it’s been just us against the world. I sit in the rocking chair and begin to try to rock him back to sleep.
A few minutes later—not nearly enough time to calm my thundering pulse—I hear footsteps approaching. My skin ripples with awareness as Ben appears in the remains of my broken doorway. I watch as he surveys the damage, his expression unreadable. His eyes follow the path of destruction to where I sit near my bedroom window.
Though he doesn’t show anything outwardly, I can feel the shock reverberate across the room as he takes in the sight of the bundle in my arms. There are so many things I want to say to him, but I haven’t the slightest idea where to begin. For months, I’d planned for this very conversation, but now that the time has come, the words seem to have evaporated into thin air.
He clears his throat, looking between Cole and me. “Logan says they’re going to do ride-bys every couple hours to make sure you’re safe,” he says hoarsely.
My brow furrows, because of all the things I’d imagined he would say to me, that hadn’t been anywhere on the list. “I-I—” I lick my lips and try again. Ben angles his left side toward me, tilting his head again. I manage to regain my thoughts after a moment’s pause. “Yeah, he told me. I’m going to have a security system installed first thing.”
He watches my lips intently. “Good,” he says vaguely. “He said you didn’t want to bother Jack, but it would probably be best if you had someone stay the night. At least until you have the system put in. Call him,” he urges.
I feel my head bobble in a nod as my stomach plummets. Something is off about his expression. The tone in his voice. His eyes don’t quite reach me. The entire situation makes me feel nauseated and unsure. Like the ground beneath my feet is moving and I can’t quite catch my balance.
“Ben, I—”
“Is he yours?” Ben interrupts, his face suddenly harsh in the shadows.
The weight of his gaze on me makes my insides freeze up. “Yes, he’s mine,” I manage. “He—”
He looks away from me, shaking his head with a humorless chuckle. “Guess it didn’t take too long for you to move on did it?” he spits, his voice raising a few octaves. “Logan was right.”
I’m so stunned by his sudden change in personality that I am completely rendered speechless.
Logan appears in the doorway, his expression hard. “I heard loud voices. Is everything okay?” His eyes are pinned on Ben.
“Yeah,” Ben says, “we’re done here.”
He turns to walk away and I automatically get to my feet, like there’s an invisible thread connecting us and if he moves, I move, too. He stops me with one look and I’m finally able to see the device attached to his ear. It’s a hearing aid. I stare at it uncomprehendingly for a few seconds.