Warrior (First to Fight #1)(31)
It’s several hours later, that evening, when I answer the door with the twins screaming at the T.V. in the background. When I find Jack on the other side my back straightens.
My mom touches my shoulder to get my attention and I turn to see her at my elbow. “Jack!” she exclaims. “I haven’t seen you in forever. Why don’t you come in? I just made some tea.”
Jack smiles at her. “Thanks, Mrs. Hart, but I don’t have time to visit. I just needed to talk to Ben here for a minute.”
“You tell that sister of yours she needs to come see me one of these days.”
Like hell.
“Yes, ma’am.”
I join Jack outside in case he does decide to kick my ass. I bet Livvie spilled that we slept together out of pure spite. I turn to tell him that I don’t give a shit what he thinks, that we’re not together, but he beats me to the punch.
“You about done avoiding me? I’m starting to feel like some needy chick around you.”
I turn my attention out over the backyard and shrug. “Just had a lot of shit going on.”
He makes some clicking noise with his mouth before saying, “Right. What was that shit this afternoon? Even I know you shouldn’t be in the ring yet. What are you trying to do? Get yourself killed?”
I chuckle, though on the inside, the walls are starting to close in. “I already have an all-up-in-my-business-mother inside for this shit, Jack. Is there some reason you’re here?”
“Fine. I’ll cut to the chase. For the record, Liv doesn’t want me telling you a damn thing about this, but I’m sick of watching her try to do it on her own. I’ve given you time since you got back from Afghanistan and you’ve been f*ckin’ dragging your feet.”
“Telling me what?”
He runs his hands through his hair and groans. “I know you think that Livvie slept with someone while you were deployed, but she didn’t. Not that it would matter if she did, because she didn’t promise you anything. Her baby is yours, man. You’d have to be a f*cking idiot to think she’d be sleeping around.”
My mouth opens and closes, my brain tripping over itself. “Why didn’t she just tell me?”
Jack turns toward me, and with the look of rage he’s throwing my way, I’m positive he’s going to take a swing at me this time. “Because, you jackass, you come home and shit all over her, and then you’ve blown her off ever since.” He breathes a heavy sigh and steps closer to me. “I know shit’s been rough for you lately. I wanted to give you your space. But you’re not the only one battling demons. She barely survived Dad’s death or having a kid with a heart defect that almost killed him. She thought she could count on you. She held on to that shit. But she couldn’t. Why would she tell you?”
The air seizes in my chest. I remember the emails that I’d deleted in the hospital. The one that said she needed to talk to me. I remember her stunned expression the night I showed up on her doorstep. I remember the small bundle she held in her arms.
And then I remember all the other people I’d failed.
Disgust rolls in my gut. “I didn’t—”
Jack sneers. “No, I don’t want to hear it. The person who deserves your apology is my sister. Like I said, I know you went through some shit and I get that, but that doesn’t excuse you being a dick. Man up, Ben. Livvie will never admit it and she’ll probably never talk to me again for doing this, but she needs you. And if you can’t do that, she needs you to at least not be such a douche about it. I’m tired of seeing the two people I love the most in f*cking shambles.”
And with that, he walks away from me and heads back into the house, leaving my world turned on its axis. I’m overcome with every emotion at once: anger, elation, shock. Olivia and I made a life, and I didn’t even know about it.
I’ve been stateside for six months now, without a clue that I have a son. I’d done my best to hide away from everyone in the months that I’d been back, only seeing my dad and family at the shop since I got back. I’ve barely been able to manage to keep going every day. To push myself out of bed every morning. To fight through the headaches, the nightmares, the struggles with my hearing loss. What could I possibly have to offer the life of another person? That of an infant, no less.
Olivia’s pained expression the night at her house plays in my head. I could throttle her for not telling me. She’d failed me. But, if I’m being honest, I’d failed her too. The list of people I’ve failed only seems to continue to grow.
CHAD TRENTON SURE is nice to look at. Short blonde hair, endless blue eyes. He has the southern boy charm shtick down to a work of art. We hadn’t been at the McCormick Lake potluck two minutes and we were already catching the attention of the people gathered on the beach.
He comes from a good family, doesn’t have any plans of running off to kill himself, and he sure seems to enjoy my company. The no-strings simplicity of our dates is what drew me to him. His parents own most of the farming land in Nassau, so he won’t be leaving the area any time soon. I’m comfortable with him. Even my son enjoys his presence. Then again, at seven months, Cole does little more than eat, play, and sleep. Even now, he’s tucked away at Melissa’s spare room next door, oblivious to the goings-on.