Until Harry(76)

“Lane,” Kale sighed, and put his arms around my body, hugging me to him.

It was a weird thought, but I wondered what Drew would do if she knew Kale was with me. She’d probably lay me up in the morgue right next to Lavender.

“Sweetheart,” he murmured, “you’re scaring me. I’ve never seen you so withdrawn before.”

I blinked up at Kale and said, “I don’t feel anything. What’s wrong with me?”

He frowned. “It’s shock, that’s all.”

I felt numb, and I didn’t like not feeling anything. I looked up at Kale then and decided I needed to feel something. Without warning, I lifted my face to his and brushed my lips against his. For a moment he applied a sliver of pressure, but then he broke away.

“I can’t, Lane,” he whispered as he pulled back from me. “I’m with Drew.”

I felt like I’d been kicked in the stomach, and my chest ached. I got what I wanted. I didn’t feel numb anymore.

“I know.” I looked down, realising it was a shitty thing I’d just tried to do knowing good and well that he was taken. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” he said, his voice low. “Do you want to go home?”

I shook my head. “I want to go see my uncle.”

Kale nodded and exited the hospital with me. He called Lochlan on the way out to come and pick us up. We waited outside in complete silence. Kale turned to speak to me a couple of times but never got the words out. It got on my last nerve, so after the sixth time he did it, I said, “Just bloody say whatever it is you have to say.”

“Drew, she’s . . . she’s pregnant,” he blurted out.

I stopped breathing.

“She’s having my baby.” He swallowed audibly. “I’m going to be a dad, Lane.”

I felt the blood drain from my face, and in that moment I was thankful I’d already puked today, because otherwise vomit would be covering Kale’s polished-up shoes.

“Lane?” he prompted. “Say something, please?”

I only knew one thing to say that was acceptable.

“Congratulations,” I whispered.

Kale took a step closer to me. “I didn’t want to tell you today of all days, but . . . but with what happened back there between us, I felt like you should know.”

I let that sink in, then after a moment, I looked up at Kale’s face.

“How long have you known Drew is pregnant?” I asked.

Kale paled. “A few weeks now.”

I took a step away from him. “A few weeks?”

He tried to close the space between us, but I held my hand up in front of his chest.

“Don’t,” I said, my voice almost a snarl. “Don’t touch me.”

“I’m so sorry. I know how you feel about me, or felt about me, so I know this isn’t what you want to hear,” he divulged. “Hurting you is the last thing I ever want to do.”

I felt like I should be crying, but the tears wouldn’t come. A fresh feeling of numbness rooted itself within me.

“All you seem to do is hurt me, Kale,” I said solemnly.

“I don’t mean to,” he whispered.

I lowered my gaze to the floor. “I need to leave.”

“Lane, please—”

“Kale,” – I cut him off, my voice dropping an octave – “I need to leave. I don’t want to be around you right now, so please, just let me go.”

“I can’t let you go,” he replied, his voice strained.

I didn’t know how to take that, but in that moment, I didn’t care about Kale – or what he had to say.

“Congratulate Drew for me, will you?”

Kale’s breathing picked up. “Lane, please, let me explain—”

“There is nothing to explain,” I said honestly. “You and Drew are dating, you have on and off for years, so it’s not a surprise that you would eventually get together for good and start a family.”

It shouldn’t have been a surprise, but it bloody well was.

“It wasn’t planned,” Kale blurted out.

That didn’t matter. Drew was carrying Kale’s baby whether it was what they wanted or not, and that was absolute fact. Another fact was that I needed to get away. I needed to get far, far away.

“I’m going to walk to my uncle’s house,” I said, turning away from him. “I need to walk.”

“Lane!” Kale called out, the pain in his voice audible as I walked away from him.

Thankfully he didn’t follow me, but I felt eyes on me as I walked from the hospital to my uncle’s house, and I knew Kale and Lochlan were following in the car to make sure I got to my uncle’s house safely. It didn’t surprise me.

Lavender is dead, a cruel voice in my head reminded me.

My best friend, and the only person who knew every single one of my secrets, was gone. My confidante and partner in crime was no more. She was the one person in the entire world I could talk to about anything. I could act any kind of way around her, and she’d never judge me; she’d just laugh and join in with whatever craziness I was doing.

I never knew how much I loved her until I saw her lifeless body on that steel bed. I didn’t even know if she knew how much I loved and appreciated her, and that without her I would have gone off the rails even more than I had already.