Until Harry(71)

“What was wrong with him?” I asked, my heart pounding in my chest.

My mother answered me. “He had coronary artery disease.”

I sucked in a pained breath. “Did . . . did you all know he would die?”

If they said yes and still had never contacted me to tell me, I didn’t know what I would do.

“No,” Layton said. “We didn’t. We all only found out about it a few months ago because he had some chest pains here and there. He changed his diet, took on different medication in order to lower the risk of a heart attack, but none of it worked. He refused a procedure to try and remove some plaque because he didn’t want to be stuck up in a hospital. You know how much he hated them.”

“I can’t believe this,” I murmured. “I had no idea.”

“This is a lot to process for you, Lane. Take a minute,” Layton said.

My nanny placed her hand on mine. “The will is done with. You said you’d abide by the condition to keep everything. You don’t have to stress about that; we can get in and clear everything out at any given time. There’s no rush on it.”

“Unless,” Lochlan murmured, “you plan on selling and moving back to America.”

He wasn’t being rude; he was just stating one of my options.

“Do you all think New York is the best place for me?” I asked, my eyes pleading for honesty. I needed some guidance, and the usual two people I sought it from – my best friend and uncle – were gone from this earth.

“No, I don’t think it is,” my mother answered. “I’m not just saying this because I want you to come home, but you’ve been there for six years, and I saw the moment that you looked at Kale in the parlour the night you came home that nothing had changed for you. Whatever you thought would be solved by moving to America hasn’t changed. You still love him.”

She’s right, I thought. I do still love him.

“I’m really confused, and I don’t know what to do,” I admitted. “You’re right, Mum: I do still love Kale, but things are even worse than they were before. He lost Kaden and Drew, and in a lot of ways he lost me too. I’ve changed, and so has he. I don’t want to cause any more hurt. What if being here makes everything worse?”

“What if it doesn’t?” Layton questioned.

My shoulders sagged. “That’s a pretty big ‘if’, Lay.”

He nodded. “It is, but what do you have to lose?”

“Nothing,” I replied.

“Exactly,” he stated. “If nothing comes of you and Kale, at least we will all be here for you. You won’t be alone again, and you’ll never have to go to bed questioning if you’ve done the right thing. You tried being away, and it didn’t help. It’s time to be here and see what happens.”

Layton was right. But could I handle coming home and going back to being just friends with Kale? I didn’t have the answer.

“I’m scared,” I whispered.

My father hunkered down in front of me and pushed loose strands of hair out of my face. “You have to be brave, kid.”

I nodded.

“Can you really see yourself goin’ back ta New York knowin’ everythin’ ye now know?” Nanny asked me.

I envisioned myself going back to New York and falling back into my usual routine while knowing Kale was back home, needing support. I thought about how I’d never receive a phone call, email or Skype invite from my uncle again, and how I’d be on my own whenever I missed him. I wondered if I could deal with only speaking to my family on the phone or over Skype when I felt so loved and supported in their presence. I asked myself one very important question: Can you go back to feeling hollow and numb?

“No,” I said aloud, answering Nanny’s question, and my own.

My family looked at me, and I saw the hope in their eyes.

“What are you saying, Lane?” my father asked. “Be blunt.”

“I can’t go back – I don’t want to go back,” I said, and I knew that when I spoke those words, I truly meant them.

“Lane,” my mother whispered, tears filling her aqua-blue eyes.

I pressed on before the emotion of my decision hit me. “I’m staying here,” I said, and felt the weight of the world fall off my shoulders. “Harry’s house will be my house. I’m moving back here for good. I’m done with being away from you all. Uncle Harry’s passing has shown me that this is where I belong. With you all. I belong at home.”

Multiple arms came around me, and I heard little whimpers of joy and relief that I knew came from my mother. I made sure to hug each of my family members and assured them I was dead serious. I was moving back home.

Holy. Shit.

Roman. His handsome face was the first to enter my mind. I didn’t know why the urge to speak to him was so great, but it was. There was so much that I had to tell him, and I suddenly couldn’t wait to talk to him.

“Roman,” I breathed when my family released me. “This is all a lot to take in, and I want to talk to my friend.”

“You can use the office next door,” Jeffery offered as he stood up from his desk.

I thanked Jeffery and walked into a large adjoining room that had a few boxes stacked on top of one another. I wasted no time in taking out my phone and dialling Roman’s number.