Unravel(75)

The closer I got, I swear I heard Lachlan’s voice. God, I love you, Naomi.

I picked up the pace and his voice became louder. I promise I’ll be here.

I ran through the trees. I pushed branch after branch away from my face. The trees shielded most of the rain above me, but dozens of raindrops still slipped past them and dropped down on my head. I finally reached the clearing and stopped. I was panting as I rested my hands on my knees and stared at the cottage.

It was older and more weather beaten than before. But it was still the same. I smiled and laughed breathlessly.

“You okay?” someone asked behind me.

I gasped and turned.

Lachlan stood there, staring at me thoughtfully. He was drenched from the rain, making his coat look more like a heavy weight than a comfort. His hair was stuck to his neck and his cheeks were slightly red from the cold. He looked out of breath like me.

No hello. No greeting of any kind.

I just said, “How did you find me?”

“I saw you running and followed you.”

We stood there in silence. I was practically numb to the rain falling down around me. This was the first time I was seeing him all summer. I was stunned. I didn’t know whether to break down and cry or run into his arms. I looked at him with a critical eye, looking for any noticeable changes. He was the same.

The last time I had spoken to Lachlan had been on the phone. I had been two days away from leaving campus. Two days away from summer break and driving back to McLean to see Lana. We spoke every day, but there was a mounting tension surrounding us. I had pressure from school. Lachlan wanted to know what was wrong; he wanted to help me. Only, I couldn’t tell him what was wrong. And, I was mad because there was no way for him to help me either.

Before we got off the phone, he had told me he would see me when I got back. I said okay. He said I love you. I loved him right back.

But what happened between then and now? What had the power to pull us apart so vigorously?

“Are you okay?” Lachlan asked.

I blinked away the rain and the past. “I’m fine,” I said faintly.

Lachlan still looked doubtful. He took a step in my direction. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“You’re not acting like it’s nothing.”

Lachlan stared at me, searching for a clue that would prove him right, and if I continued to look at him, he would find it. He stepped forward and reached a hand out. I dodged that hand like it was poison and made sure to keep a good distance between us, but it was killing me.

Lachlan stared at me with a hurt expression.

“Do you know I’m with someone?”

My words were punctuated by the raindrops that were falling in big, angry drops from the sky. Lachlan stopped walking and was perfectly still. He said nothing and at first I thought he didn’t register what I’d said. His eyes narrowed and his jaw became clenched so tightly, a small muscle became visible around his cheek. His head turned a fraction of an inch.

“What?” he said slowly. He didn’t raise his voice over the rain, but I heard him.

“His name is Max. I met him at the beginning of the summer, at a party he was hosting.”

His eyes merely widened.

“Lana was with me,” I rushed. “I mean… I went with her. She had to go because her parents were there and—”

I was rambling and I knew it. Yet it was the blank expression on Lachlan’s face that made me stop talking. His eyebrows were pinched together. Eyes scrunched as if he was trying to peer very carefully at me.

“What are you talking about?” he asked in a low voice.

I stared at him miserably; it was all I could do.

“It’s me…” He pushed away part of his jacket and gripped the material of his shirt. “Lachlan.”

“I know that,” I said a little defensively.

“Do you?”

“Of course I do!” I shot back. “I’ve known you practically my entire life!”

Lachlan shook his head. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

I opened my mouth, but not a word came out. Lachlan was making me doubt myself. He was making me feel like I was losing my mind. I hated that.

Then he opened his arms up to me. I thought having Max in my life would be enough for me.

I was wrong. I needed them both.

I went to Lachlan willingly. He was so warm and solid and stable. I told myself to breathe in and out, but it wasn’t working. My breathing was harsh, coming out in convulsive gasps. I wished that I could tell him everything that had been happening. I would start from the beginning and tell him Lana’s story. I pictured the pain falling away from my body. Lachlan would listen and I could lay all my fears to rest and things just might be okay.

I said into his chest, “I’m not okay.”



36—MIRROR

Lana and I reacted to Max’s arrest in our own ways. I shared her sadness and despair but it didn’t pull me under. I had too much anger and aggression inside of me to let that happen. She felt responsible for it all.

I hadn’t seen Lachlan in a week. It didn’t matter though because nothing had been the same since. Throughout the summer I had done a good job of pushing him to the back of my mind, but seeing him made all my efforts evaporate. My head felt compressed and weighed down, like I was on the verge of a painful headache. Even now, I rubbed my temples methodically.