Trusting Nicole (The Last Hangman MC #4)(65)

I spend a good hour packing what I want to keep, mainly pictures of me and my parents, teddies - call me sentimental but I did miss having my teddies over the years - and the pictures. Anything that would bring me back to those four years of happiness I had at home. My parents weren’t materialistic so there’s not a lot left that belonged to them, but there’s a small box in one of the boxes that were hiding the wardrobe, along with more pictures and drawings. I open the small velvet box and smile, seeing my mom’s engagement ring. A simple silver band with a set of small diamonds surrounding a yellow stone. I smile, knowing one day it’ll be on Nicole’s finger. I look through the clothes in the wardrobe and pick up my old Halloween costumes, there are only four but I can’t bring myself to part with them. I always loved those. Mom always made them herself. She was so talented. The first year I was a pumpkin, the second year I was a warlock, I’m sure I looked funny in that, a one year old with a beard. The third year I was a monkey and for the fourth year I was Batman. I sit on the floor looking at the pictures of me wearing the costumes and imagine Nicole and I with kids, and them wearing these costumes, I smile to myself.

I’m so f*cking stupid. I have a good woman at home and I’m pushing her away. I quickly pack everything up in the boxes Nikolai gave me and leave the room, but not before taking one last look at it. This is the last time I’ll see it and it’s hitting home. I’m thrown back to that night when all I wanted was for my parents to wake up and my nightmare to end. I never got the chance to grab a few of my things to remember my parents by. Now I have my opportunity to say goodbye properly and it f*cking hurts. I only got four years with my parents, they didn’t get to raise me or see me grow up, they’ll never know their grandchildren or Nicole. They would have loved her.

With one sad last look at the room, I close the door to my childhood and my old life. I close this chapter of my life and open a new one, hopefully one with the woman I was meant to be with.





CHAPTER 29




Nicole

One week. One long freaking week without seeing Jase and it’s driving me f*cking crazy. I’m pretending it doesn’t bother me but f*ck if it doesn’t kill me to stay away from him. With all that happened I understand he needs some time to reflect, but it feels like he’s pushing me away on purpose and that’s a hard pill to swallow. Things were going so well between us despite those f*ckers messing with us. I just don’t understand this sudden change in his behavior. He was all loving and couldn’t get enough of me and now he doesn’t even want to be around me, talk about emotional whiplash.

I wish I could call him and see how he really is, the only contact we’ve had is through text. I can’t help but check in every day with him, but letters on a screen isn’t the same. It’s easy to say in a text that you are okay even if you’re not, the other person isn’t there to see or hear you. On the phone I’d be able to get a better idea if he really is okay.

I’ve been trying to study and focus on something else. I’m not a patient woman, far from it. I have zero patience, so me giving him the time he needs is a freaking miracle. I’m not a clingy woman, I’m not about to hog him all the time and constantly be in each other’s pockets, but I’d like to know where we stand.

Ugh! I feel like I’m turning into one of those psycho clingy women. I’m annoying myself. I groan out in frustration and slam my text book shut.

“What did it do to you?” I let out a loud, quick scream and jump. Turning around, I see Jase laughing at my reaction.

“One of these days I’ll have a f*cking heart attack and it’ll be yours, Gabe and Aleck’s fault.” I narrow my eyes at him and then smile. “It’s good to see you.”

“It’s good to see you too.” He sighs and sits across from me. “Wish it wasn’t like this.”

“What do you mean?” I look at him in confusion, not liking the fact that he chose to sit across from me instead of next to me. Yep, I’m turning into one of those annoying psycho girls.

“All bruised up and battered.”

“Jase, I saw you in a worse state than that.” I hold my hand out to him. It takes him a second but he picks it up with his injured hand. “How’s the hand?”

“Getting there, the other fingers are mourning the loss of pinky though.” He shrugs and smiles.

“Well at least you can smile about it.” I give him a gentle squeeze on his left hand.

“There was no way to salvage the finger and I’m not going to grow another one so might as well accept it and laugh about it,” he says but he looks sad and I’m sure it has nothing to do with his finger.

“Are you alright?” I look at him in concern.

“I don’t know.” He sighs.

“You know you can talk to me.” I smile warmly at him and move over to him.

“I know. I’m just-this is f*cking frustrating.” He rubs his face with his uninjured hand.

“What is?” I rub his back for comfort.

“I haven’t seen you in a week and it’s been killing me to stay away from you. I hate myself for pushing you away.”

“It’s alright, I understand.”

“It didn’t annoy you or anything?” He looks at me, raising his eyebrow.