Trusting Nicole (The Last Hangman MC #4)(64)

A week later

I went to get the papers Sergei talked about in the safe he had hidden in his office a couple of days after leaving the warehouse, but I still haven’t been able to bring myself to open them. I’m afraid of what I’ll find in his words. What if my parents weren’t any better than Slider’s? What if my parents were bad people? All the questions swarm my mind but I still can’t bring myself to open the letter. I don’t want, nor can I imagine, my parents being bad people, but appearances can be deceiving.

As soon as I could, I packed all my stuff up that was in the mansion and brought it to the house I used to share with Jenny. I can’t even call it home, it feels more like a prison. Not because Jenny and I used to live here, but because it doesn’t have Nicole in it.

Things have been quite tense these past couple of days, mostly because of me. I can’t bring myself to let her see me in my current state even though she’s already seen me at my worst. Maybe I’m using it as an excuse to push her away because I still feel like I don’t deserve her. I’m still scared that my past is going to come after her with a vengeance. I couldn’t handle that. She’s been amazing throughout all of this, which is making me hate myself even more. I’m pushing away the one woman who knows every dark secret I’ve hidden in the past and still wants me. She even understands that I need time to get over what happened and sort out the shit in my head.

I have the cops after me, the Russians are no doubt going to be after me when they hear I don’t want anything to do with them anymore and I don’t know how things are going to go with the clubs. I haven’t been called for any meetings or anything. Now that they know I’m not a cop, I’m of no use to them anymore. I should have seen it coming. I guess I was hoping they would take me in after all we’ve been through together. Guess my past really is catching up on me.

I’m back for the last of my things from the mansion and I’m standing in front of the one room upstairs that has always been kept locked. I randomly try a few combinations on the lock but constantly receive an error message. I don’t know why, but I try entering my birthday. Instead of showing red, it lights up green and there’s a buzzing sound. I can’t believe I never thought of trying it before. Knowing now that the combination was my date of birth, I’m scared of what can be behind that door.

I turn the doorknob and open the door slightly, not quite ready to go in just yet. Considering the entry code was my birthday, I’m guessing this room has something to do with me. This is quite unsettling.

I take a deep breath and push the door fully open.

I probably look like a fool right now, my eyes are wide, my mouth is hanging open and I’m unsure if I should smile or cry.

I’m thrown back thirty years. This is an exact replica of my room where I used to live with my parents. Everything is in its place. Every single teddy bear, pictures, drawings I had in the exact same spot. I take a few steps in and look around. A wave of emotion overcomes me at the sight of pictures of me and my parents hanging on the walls, pictures I hadn’t seen in thirty years.

There’s a note resting on the bed. I pick it up and open the small piece of paper.

Jason,

I’m sorry for what I’ve put you through.

I never meant for things to go this way.

I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me.

All of these are yours, I figured you might want them

back one day.

I loved you like a son even though I never showed it.

I’m sorry for everything.

You are free.

Sergei.

I stare at the note, not understanding the last sentence.

“He wanted you to figure out the code on your own.” Nikolai says, from behind me, startling me.

“You knew?” I ask, not turning around.

“Yes, I’m the one who brought everything here. He insisted on having everything exactly the way it was, it was a f*cking nightmare.” He chuckles. “Couldn’t replicate the mess though, it was driving my OCD crazy.”

I chuckle. “Not sure if I should kick your ass or thank you.”

“Considering you haven’t healed yet, you should thank me.” He chuckles.

I turn to face him. “Thank you. What does he mean by ‘I’m free’?”

“You’re free from all of this. You don’t have to work for us anymore, unless you want to. The choice is yours.” he says, picking up a lion teddy. “I had the same one when I was little, named it Shaki for some odd reason.” He laughs.

I chuckle. “Weirdo. So you mean I can walk away from this and you won’t come after me?”

“I know, and no, and we’ll always protect you and Nicole. I’m guessing you haven’t read the letter?”

“No. Why?”

“He really thought of you as the son he never had. He never remarried when his wife was killed and never had kids. He raised you the way he would have raised his kids, except he couldn’t show you love, not because of his position, but because any love he had died the day his wife was killed.” he says sadly.

“You were close to her?”

“Yeah. I was seventeen when he took me in. He and Rina were amazing to me. I owe them so much. If you hadn’t found out what was going on in the basement, he wouldn’t have subjected you to it. He wanted to see if you were a man of honor or a coward. He’s always been proud of you and always will be.” he says rendering me speechless. “You should read the letter when you have some time. You deserve to know the truth, I will tell you that your parents were good people. They were nothing like Slider’s. Just thought you should know that. I’ll bring you some boxes so you can pack whatever you want from here.” He pats my back and exits the room, leaving me alone with my thoughts.