Trusting Nicole (The Last Hangman MC #4)(4)

From the little I can remember of my life before I was four, I know it was pretty good. I wasn’t brought up in a rich family, but my parents were incredibly loving and took good care of me. The night they were taken from me is when the real nightmare began. I had to grow up quickly in a life I didn’t want and had no other choice but to embrace the fear that I would be killed if I ever showed any weakness. The scariest part is that I started to enjoy this lifestyle. It changed me for the worse. My parents would be ashamed of the man I’ve become, but there’s no turning back now, this is who I am.

I should have run away as soon as I had the chance, but I stayed with the only people who were there for me. That was my first and most costly mistake. They were the worst people for a young and impressionable boy to be associated with and now I will never get a shot at happiness or love. Being with someone would mean living in constant fear that they will be taken away from me and used against me. Then there’s her, she’s been in my life for close to three years. We shouldn’t have done what we did, but neither of us could help it. I don’t regret any of it, I just wish things happened differently.

Life isn’t a fairy tale, not everybody deserves a happy ending. I know I don’t.





CHAPTER 1



Nicole

My childhood was interesting to say the least.

Growing up around violence, alcohol, drugs, sex and bikers shouldn’t be considered a good environment for a child to grow up in, it probably would be a nightmare to most girls, but for me, this is my fairy tale. I know that one day my prince in black boots is going to come and rescue me from the bad men and we’ll ride off into the sunset. But that’s not going to happen anytime soon. Instead the bad men rule a life that I wish I could forget forever. And I’m not talking about Gabe. He’s not that bad even though he can be a dickhead sometimes.

My older brother, Gabe, and I lost our parents when we were young, well, they were stolen from us. At the time Gabe was only eighteen and I was eight. I was heartbroken and scared, I didn’t want people to try to separate us, we were the only thing each other had left.

I can still remember every detail of the day Gabe told me our parents had died. I woke up as usual, hoping that Mom would be in the kitchen making us waffles as she had promised the day before. Dad would be watching the news, sipping his coffee whilst leaning on the kitchen counter. He always stayed close to Mom when they were in the same room. They loved each other with every fiber of their beings and it was evident to everyone who saw them together. They were the picture perfect couple, both in front of everybody and behind closed doors, they were the embodiment of pure love. I want that kind of love one day.

That morning was different, I walked into the kitchen to find Gabe sitting alone at the kitchen table with his head in his hands. It was strange, he was never like that. He was always happy and full of life. When he looked up at me, the Gabe I once knew was gone. His eyes were dead, completely void of any emotion but he wasn’t crying. The expression on his face when he saw me broke my heart and I knew something terrible had happened to Mom and Dad. I remember walking over to him and him wrapping me in his arms tightly. He kept repeating ‘I’m sorry’ over and over again. That’s when I knew, our parents were gone and it was just the two of us now.

He fought so hard to keep us together and luckily it worked. It was hard in the beginning, he had no idea what to do, how to look after an eight year old or keep the house running. We were fortunate that he managed to find a job pretty quickly. We fell into a routine, it almost became natural, like it had been the two of us all along. We were both heartbroken and it didn’t get better over night, but the fact that we still had each other was the most important thing, we could always rely on each other for comfort and support. He was very snappy at first and I couldn’t blame him, I couldn’t have coped with raising my younger sibling, finding a job and despite what he thinks, he is an amazing brother and has been a very good father figure. I’ve been very lucky, even if he can be a huge pain in my ass.

Going back to school was tough. Everybody looked at me with pity in their eyes and I hated it. Yes, I had lost my parents and my whole world had been turned upside down, but the last thing I needed was for them all to look at me as if I was going to break down any minute. I held strong and proved them wrong. I cried for the first few months when I was alone in my room and would cry myself to sleep, but I realized I shouldn’t cry for their loss. I should embrace the fact that I had the best parents ever who raised an amazing brother who would take good care of me for them. I’m certain they would be proud of him, probably minus the MC parts. I had the best eight years with my parents and I’ll cherish those memories forever.

Gabe has always made sure I had everything I needed and wanted growing up; whether it was clothes, make-up, toys, going out with friends, dating boys, you name it, he did it with a smile. Even when I was being a brat, he always made sure I was the number one priority in his life and I’ll forever be thankful to him. Not only did he manage to work full time and came home every day with a smile on his face, but he also found us a new family. Sure, some narrow-minded people might assume an MC is an unsuitable family environment for a young girl, but it was f*cking amazing. We were amongst people who readily accepted us as their own and made sure we were financially, emotionally and physically sound, they would’ve done anything for us and still would. Josie, Ayden’s mom, became a second mother to me. I could always confide in her if I needed a woman’s opinion. Josie is the one who gave me the talk much to Gabe’s despair and relief. Although it would have been hilarious to watch him squirm as he explained the birds and the bees.