The Magnolia Chronicles: Adventures in Modern Dating(12)

"That—that's great." I cringed as Troy's favorite word passed my lips. "Mom's cooking is legendary. You know, she'd invite you back even if we aren't"—I pointed at the air between us, twining my fingers together as if that made sense—"if we don't. Because, you know. This isn't—"

"I get it. You seem great—"

"And so do you," I jumped in.

"But we don't have to—"

"Oh, god, no. No." I was agreeing too heartily but I couldn't stop myself. Under different circumstances, Troy and I might've shared an evening together but that would've been the beginning and end for us. We weren't it. Whatever it was, we weren't. We didn't have it. "But I'm serious when I say my mother would be thrilled to have you back for dinner."

He shot another glance at the empty table, the only evidence of the modest feast coming from stray bits of tomato rice, a chickpea on the loose, some chouri?o grease stains on the tablecloth.

Troy was a nice guy. Sweet, kind. Better than many others would've been in the same situation. But being a nice guy wasn't the checkbox for me. Yeah, I wanted nice but I also wanted someone who'd take one look at this shitshow setup, grab me by the hand, and get the fuck out of here. Someone who put up with no more than two minutes of my brothers and their a-hole routine before giving it right back to them. Someone who recognized my family was important to me but knew when I required—deserved—breathing room from them.

Troy wasn't that guy. If he had any of those inklings, he hadn't acted on them. I could've grabbed him and made a run for it. But I hadn't. I'd waited for him to do it and it wasn't happening now. Nothing was happening now.

I couldn't help but see the lesson embedded in these events. If I wanted something, it was on me to take it. Waiting for a dude to read my mind was getting nowhere fast. I couldn't expect someone to show up for my unspoken needs. I needed to show up for myself.

"I might like that. Coming for dinner," Troy added, his words bashful. "We didn't have routines like this when I lived at home and"—he glanced down, away—"and this was great. Looking back, I realize now that your mom's messages were extremely focused on whether I was eating and sleeping well. I guess I liked that. It felt good." He laughed to himself. "Hell. I just made it sound like I was into your mom."

Wincing, I said, "No, I get what you're saying. I'm also working hard at not thinking about my mom messaging you and pretending to be me. If I think about it, I'll have to burn things down and scrub myself with bleach."

He shook his head. "I should thank her. I've uncovered a whole new segment of mommy issues to deal with."

I wasn't sure how I maintained an easy smile after that comment but I did. I managed to keep a calm, open expression while I sent Troy on his way with a loose hug and no promise of seeing him again.

But I was going to have some words with my mother.





Chapter Seven





Dating App Guy 8: Good morning.

Magnolia: Hi! Happy Monday!

Dating App Guy 8: How was your weekend?

Magnolia: Fine. I'm glad it's a new week. Looking for a fresh start on many things.

Dating App Guy 8: Same. Yeah, I'm in the exact same boat with you.

Magnolia: Awesome.

Dating App Guy 8: Let me be blunt. I just got out of a long relationship and I'm fucked up in the head right now but I'm 6'3, 210, and my dick is a solid 9 inches.

Magnolia: I'm sorry about your breakup.

Dating App Guy 8: Thank you.

Dating App Guy 8: You want to help me fuck away the memories of my ex? No strings, no expectations, no emotional baggage?

Magnolia: I understand what you're going through, I truly do, but I don't see how this could be free of emotional baggage.

Magnolia: And I don't really want expectation-less sex.

Magnolia: I'm into strings and expectations and emotions. I want all of those things.

Dating App Guy 8: I can stay hard for a full 30 minutes. No lie.

Magnolia: How old are you?

Dating App Guy 8: I turned 38 last month.

Magnolia: 30 minutes at 38? Now that's a résumé builder.

Dating App Guy 8: Damn straight.

Magnolia: Not a little to the left?

Dating App Guy 8: I can say I honestly laughed out loud just now.

Magnolia: You're welcome.

Dating App Guy 8: I appreciate it. I needed that laugh.

Dating App Guy 8: I also need to get over my ex so…what do you say?

Magnolia: Look, you seem like the most normal person on here…if that's even possible…but I'm not in the market for a fuck buddy or friend with bennies.

Dating App Guy 8: I get it. I can't talk about anything more serious than that but you're beautiful and seem cool.

Magnolia: Am I cool because I didn't block you? You went to the dick size within 3 or 4 messages and that's block-worthy behavior in my book.

Dating App Guy 8: And yet you did not block me.

Magnolia: No. I didn't.

Dating App Guy 8: Why not?

Magnolia: Not sure. Maybe because you led with being fucked up and closed with the measurements. You could've skipped the personal horror story.

Dating App Guy 8: I guess so, yeah, but I only need to fuck away my issues because of my ex. This is too time-consuming to be my normal mode of operation.