The Magnolia Chronicles: Adventures in Modern Dating(17)

Magnolia: Are you saying you'd take a salad over a sandwich? Really?

Mr. Nine: It depends on the salads and sandwiches.

Mr. Nine: I had a sandwich at a little shop on Nantucket about 5 years ago. I haven't stopped thinking about it since.

Magnolia: That's not the first time I've heard that about sandwiches on Nantucket.

Mr. Nine: I also had a salad last month that brought true joy to my life.

Magnolia: It seems to me that any mildly good thing could bring you joy right now.

Mr. Nine: Let's test that theory over sandwiches. Since we both enjoy them.

Mr. Nine: There's a place near my office with amazing turkey sandwiches.

Magnolia: That's wonderful for you.

Mr. Nine: It's from an actual turkey. They smoke it in the shop. That makes all the difference. I hate when it's slimy deli slices.

Magnolia: I think I know that place because my brother shares your devotion to smoked turkey and he goes out of his way to stop there whenever he's in the city.

Mr. Nine: It's a good spot, right?

Magnolia: Yeah. They make their own flavorings for coffee and seltzer. I'm a fan of their raspberry even though I'm ride-or-die for black cherry.

Mr. Nine: So, your brother. He lives out of town?

Magnolia: Linden lives on the southeast coast, near my parents in New Bedford.

Mr. Nine: Just the one sibling?

Magnolia: No, another brother. Ash.

Mr. Nine: Who is the oldest?

Magnolia: Ash was Baby A, I was Baby B, and Linden was Baby C.

Magnolia: We're triplets.

Mr. Nine: Wow. That's not something you hear every day.

Magnolia: About as often as a dude introduces himself with a baseball card of his dick stats.

Mr. Nine: Got your attention.

Magnolia: And look at all the good it's done me.

Mr. Nine: I've offered to do you all kinds of good.

Magnolia: Yep. That is true.





*



Mr. Nine: Tell me about landscape architecture.

Magnolia: That's a broad request.

Mr. Nine: What's a typical day look like? Are you out there digging up yards and planting trees?

Magnolia: No.

Magnolia: Okay, yeah, that was how it used to be but now I spend most of my time developing proposals and designs, managing subcontractors, and evaluating progress rather than doing any digging myself.

Magnolia: I've carved out a niche in the roof garden business. That's the bulk of my residential and commercial work.

Mr. Nine: I was way off the mark.

Magnolia: Not too far, no. When I was starting out, I couldn't afford to pay subcontractors so I did all the work. It made for obscenely long days.

Mr. Nine: When does your day start now?

Magnolia: It mostly depends on when and where I have meetings but it's been too fucking early the past few weeks. The house across the street is under construction but they've been working the wildest hours.

Mr. Nine: That's annoying.

Mr. Nine: You're welcome to take refuge in my bed.

Magnolia: Oh, truly?

Mr. Nine: Of course. My building is shockingly quiet. The benefit of new construction, I guess.

Magnolia: My best friends are preservation architects. Their entire lives are spent restoring old homes in an effort to minimize new construction.

Mr. Nine: Okay. I'll move.

Magnolia: Easy as that?

Mr. Nine: I told you last night…a salad brought me joy. If living in an old building meant you'd hang out with me, I'd call the movers right now.

Magnolia: Maybe hold off on that for a bit. Okay?





*



Mr. Nine: Are you going to tell me your name at any point?

Magnolia: Okay. Wow. You want to use me to forget your ex AND you want to know my name?

Magnolia: Needy much?

Mr. Nine: You are so mean to me.

Mr. Nine: Please don't stop.

Mr. Nine: My name is Rob. In case you were wondering.

Magnolia: I thought you were all about no strings, no baggage, no attachments.

Mr. Nine: You rejected my no strings, no baggage, no attachments deal.

Magnolia: Ah. Right.

Mr. Nine: So…are you going to tell me your name?

Magnolia: Where am I meeting you for lunch?

Mr. Nine: If I answer that, will you tell me your name?

Magnolia: If you don't tell me, I can't meet you so…my name is irrelevant to these proceedings.

Mr. Nine: Yeah. Yeah, I misplayed that hand.

Mr. Nine: Wow. I'm going to take a minute and reevaluate everything I thought I knew about myself and my negotiating skills.

Magnolia: It's Magnolia.

Magnolia: Yes, like the flower.

Mr. Nine: One of the oldest flowers in the world too. Your lineage is 95 million years old.

Magnolia: …how did you know that?

Mr. Nine: Google.

Magnolia: Did Google mention how magnolias appeared before bees?

Mr. Nine: It did and that's fascinating.

Mr. Nine: It makes sense.

Magnolia: How do you figure?

Mr. Nine: You strike me as the type of woman who'd survive in a world that wasn't ready for you.

Mr. Nine: You'd wait for evolution to catch the fuck up to you.

Magnolia: Believe me, I've waited.

Mr. Nine: Meet me at Flour Bakery tomorrow. 1 p.m.