The Boatman's Wife(69)

‘What do you mean?’ Lily shot back.

Daniel lifted his Guinness back up to his lips. He’d already finished half his pint. ‘I was with Eve and Connor at the party. Connor was trying to persuade Eve not to drink because she was pregnant, but she was telling Connor to fuck off.’ Daniel shook his head. ‘She was so angry she was having a child. She really didn’t want one.’

‘Why didn’t she have an abortion?’

‘Because it’s still illegal in Ireland, though probably not for much longer. It’s a big deal, especially in the countryside. And then I think on some level, my sister thought a baby would help her be a better person. But once she started getting big, she regretted her decision.’

‘Did Connor and Eve love each other?’ Lily asked Daniel.

He shrugged. ‘They were so young. But I’m pretty sure Connor must have been in love with my sister because he put up with so much from her. As for Eve…’ Daniel sighed. ‘I don’t think so, though there were moments when she could be very tender with him. Protective, almost. But as the pregnancy advanced, she got angrier and angrier.’

Lily felt a twist of pain in her belly. Eve Malone had got pregnant so easily with Connor, whereas she had been trying for months. And yet Eve hadn’t wanted their baby. It seemed so unfair.

‘Anyway, it was some rave,’ Daniel continued. ‘A West Brit kid whose parents were away had put up an invite on Facebook.’ He sniggered. ‘Man, he was mobbed. There was, like, an actual ballroom. And a DJ, and everyone sharing E like candy. The music was loud and heavy, and we all got dancing, but Christ, what the fuck was Eve doing there five months pregnant?’ Daniel shook his head mournfully. ‘I should have stopped her from going. But my sister was not one to be told what to do. At first, she wasn’t drinking, or taking anything. I remember seeing her and Connor dancing in the ballroom, and he was spinning her slowly around the floor. She looked happy. Calm, and sober. But then I lost sight of them. I was busy networking, so to speak.’

Daniel stopped talking for a moment. Looking down at his hands as they gripped his pint glass. ‘I guess I probably overindulged. When I caught up with Connor and Eve again, they were having a terrible row. She was blind drunk, staggering around, and accusing Connor of sleeping with Maggie – which was insane, because Maggie is gay. I remember Connor saying we should call a taxi to bring us home, and I said I’d come with them as I wanted a lift.’ Daniel licked his lips nervously. ‘I was dealing hash and ecstasy at the time and I needed a lift to another rave to sell some gear.’

‘Go on,’ Lily said, tension searing through her body. Unable to drink her coffee.

‘Eve said the taxi was too expensive. She got in Connor’s car to drive, said she was fine.’ Daniel was unable to look Lily in the eyes. ‘It’s all a bit hazy because I was so off my head, but I’m pretty sure Connor tried to stop her and she said if he didn’t get in, she’d drive off without him. So he did, and I got in the back.’

‘Are you telling me that on the night of the crash, it was Eve who was driving, not Connor?’ Lily asked in a low voice. It felt as if the whole bar had gone very still, all noise fading into the background. Her complete focus was on Daniel and what he was saying. He looked really terrible now. His face grey, and the look in his eyes desperate.

Daniel closed his eyes. ‘You know, I only remember the crash in my dreams.’ He opened his eyes again, red with drink. ‘I couldn’t remember what really happened for years, not until I was clean.’

Lily raised her eyebrows as he lifted the pint to his lips.

‘From drugs,’ Daniel clarified. ‘I gave all that up.’

‘Just tell me what happened,’ Lily demanded.

‘It was all so fast,’ Daniel said. ‘Eve was racing down the road, and Connor was telling her to slow down, pull over, to let him drive because at least he wasn’t so drunk. But she just kept going faster, and shouting at him: “Are you scared now, Connor Fitzgerald, have I got the fear of God into you now?”’

Daniel placed his hands either side of his empty pint glass, staring into it as if it were a screen replaying the events of that night.

‘Eve was laughing. Wild, the way she used to. And looking over her shoulder at me. Asking me if I wanted her to turn up the music on the radio. Even though I was totally high, I remember thinking she was out of control. Connor was beside her, shouting at her to look at the road and trying to grab hold of the steering wheel to keep us going straight. But she kept pushing him away and the car was swerving. Next thing I remember, we were out of control, the car was skidding and Eve was slamming on the brakes and her laughter had gone hysterical. The road came up to meet us, and there was a big bang and a terrible crunching noise as we slammed into a ditch. Eve was screaming that our dad would kill her, that she couldn’t get done for drink driving. She was going mental. So, Connor told her to get out the car, and he’d say he was driving. He’d take the rap for it, so she didn’t lose her licence. But he made her promise she’d stop drinking, and she said she would. They both looked okay to me. Like, they had a bit of blood on their faces, and Eve said her head hurt, but I had to get out of there because I had a big bag of hash and another bag of ecstasy on me. So I ran away before the Gardai came…’ Daniel’s voice petered out. ‘I thought Eve would cover for me like always. I didn’t realise…’ His voice faltered, and he looked up at Lily with pleading eyes. ‘I wouldn’t have run away if I’d known…’