The Boatman's Wife(73)

She followed the road out of town, back towards Rosemary Kelly’s small cottage. As she pulled up outside, she saw an old Toyota Corolla parked in the yard and heard a dog barking. She turned off the engine, and took a breath. This was going to be hard. She wasn’t quite sure what she was going to say, or how.

Lily got out the car and retraced the steps she had taken earlier that day. It felt like the axis of the whole of her life had been altered during those few hours. She walked past the old tumble-down shed, its roof sunk in and covered in ivy. The scent of wildflowers was strong, and she caught the soothing aroma of lavender from a tub of it near the green cottage door. Even the house looked a little different now. More tinged with tragedy and loss. The grey of the stone a little gloomier, streaked by the shadows of the afternoon.

Lily took a breath. She was exhausted, but she couldn’t endure one more day without telling Rosemary what had happened to her grandson. She lifted her hand and knocked on the door.

The woman who opened it was not in the least how Lily had imagined her. Connor had given Lily the impression his grandmother was a frail old woman who couldn’t travel to America for their wedding, but the person who opened the door was far from frail. Tall and lean, with short white hair and elegant features, she looked to be in her early seventies. Neither did she look grandmother material, dressed as she was in a pair of purple yoga pants and matching top, with big silver hoops in her ears and a long silver chain with a stone pendant around her neck. A brown and white spaniel jumped up at her heels before bounding out through the door.

Rosemary stared at Lily, her eyes wide open in surprise, the colour drained from her cheeks in shock. ‘Is it you? Lily? Connor’s American wife?

Lily felt completely wrong-footed. Rosemary had recognised her and knew all about her. But of course, she reminded herself, the wedding picture on her dresser had indicated this would be the case.

‘Is it you, Lily?’ Rosemary asked again, clearly shaken.

‘Yes, hello,’ Lily said. ‘Sorry not to call ahead.’

‘That’s no problem,’ Rosemary said. ‘Surprise visitors are always welcome. No, it’s so wonderful to see you.’ Rosemary held out her hands, and instinctively Lily took them. ‘But where’s Connor?’ She looked past her, scanning the yard.

Lily’s throat was tightening. ‘Can I come in, Mrs Kelly?’ she asked in a hoarse voice.

‘Call me Rosemary!’ Connor’s grandmother said, then whistled and called out, ‘Willie!’ for the spaniel, who came tearing back into the house with a stick in his mouth, brushing past Lily in furry excitement.

Rosemary led Lily into the cosy kitchen, and she caught the scent of freshly baked bread. ‘Would you like a cup of tea, and a slice of my soda bread with jam?’

‘Okay, sure, thanks,’ Lily said, feeling awkward, but anything to put off what she had to tell Rosemary Kelly. She sat down at the same beautiful oak table she had placed her hand on before. ‘You’re different from what I expected. Connor never told me much about you, Rosemary,’ Lily admitted.

‘Did he not? Ah, the terror, and the two of you getting married so sudden-like.’

Lily took in Rosemary’s words. Clearly Connor had been keen to keep his grandmother and Lily apart because of the story about Eve Malone.

‘Connor didn’t want me to visit you in America,’ Rosemary said, as if sensing Lily’s thoughts. ‘He had a new life. I respected that, though it hurt.’ She handed Lily a steaming cup of tea, and a plate of soda bread still warm from the oven. She pushed a platter of butter towards her, along with a knife and a jar of jam.

‘Rhubarb,’ she announced. ‘Made it myself last summer.’

‘Thank you,’ Lily said, not wanting to eat at all now. How was she going to tell Connor’s grandmother what had happened to him? Not only that, Rosemary had missed her grandson’s memorial. Lily felt a dart of anger towards Connor. All these secrets.

‘I said to him, last time we talked, that a baby will bring us all together,’ Rosemary continued.

‘A baby?’ Lily’s voice came out in a shocked hush.

‘Yes, he told me that the two of you are trying for a baby,’ Rosemary said. ‘So good, my dear – I mean, after all that awful business with the Malone girl.’

Lily was beginning to feel a little overwhelmed. It was clear Connor had had more phone contact with Rosemary than he’d let on to Lily because how else would she know they’d been trying for a baby? Rosemary was so open, as if she’d known Lily all her life. Evidently, she had no idea Connor had kept so many secrets from his wife.

‘Where is Connor?’ Rosemary asked her. ‘Why’s he not with you? Is everything okay? I have been wondering. He hasn’t called for over a month.’

Lily swallowed. ‘Rosemary, please would you come sit down with me?’

Rosemary sat down at the table, suddenly very still and attentive. Willie had calmed down too, dropping his gnawed stick on the kitchen floor, and pushed his snout onto Rosemary’s lap, sensing something was wrong.

Lily took a breath. ‘The reason I’m here,’ she began, taking another breath, because it was so hard to say the words. ‘The reason I came to see you, Rosemary, is because Connor passed away.’

There was a stunned silence.

‘Excuse me, what did you say?’ Rosemary said, her voice high-pitched with fear. ‘I don’t think I heard you right.’