The Boatman's Wife(74)

Lily forced herself to look into Rosemary’s eyes, now panic-stricken. ‘Connor is gone,’ she said, her voice hoarse with emotion, unable to stop the tears coming.

Rosemary leapt up from the table as the spaniel barked in fright. ‘No, no,’ she said, looking wild-eyed. ‘Not my little boy.’

It was all Lily could do to hold it together. One deep breath after another. ‘It was an accident,’ she said. ‘There was a storm. Connor was out fishing with my dad, and he got swept overboard.’

Rosemary couldn’t speak. Lily was truly worried she’d have a heart attack. She stood up and put her arms around the older woman, though they were strangers to each other. Lily led her into the front room and made her sit on a sofa.

‘Take a breath,’ she whispered. ‘That’s it.’

Rosemary put her hand on her heart and looked into Lily’s eyes. ‘I knew,’ she whispered, her eyes shining with pain. ‘Tried to fool myself that my instincts were wrong, but I just knew something was wrong when he didn’t call.’ She shook her head. ‘What day did he die? When was it? Tell me, darling, what happened?’



It was dark by the time Lily had finished telling Rosemary about the terrible night of the storm, omitting the fact her father had been responsible. Twice, she’d broken down crying, and Rosemary had put her arms around her, letting her weep in a way she never had with her mom.

Although it had been so painful to tell Connor’s grandmother that he was gone for good, Lily also felt a sense of release by telling her about it. She was tired, too. So much had happened in just one day.

‘I’m grateful you came to tell me in person, Lily,’ Rosemary said. ‘It must have been hard for you to come here, knowing what everyone believes about what Connor did.’

‘I know the truth,’ Lily said. ‘I ran into the Malone brothers, and Daniel told me what really happened. He was there that night. It was Eve who was driving.’

‘I knew it!’ Rosemary said, triumphant. ‘Connor refused to admit it to me, but I knew he wasn’t guilty.’ Tears were shining in her eyes. ‘It was a terrible business, just terrible. He had to leave because he was an outcast here in Mullaghmore. But then he found you. He phoned and told me all about you, Lily. How you were the best thing that had ever happened to him.’

‘When we were together, I felt like I knew Connor inside out, as if we were parts of each other. But after he was gone, it began to feel like there was so much I didn’t know,’ Lily said. ‘I came here to tell you about what happened, but also because I was trying to find out who he really was.’

‘Sure, you knew him already, darling,’ Rosemary said patting her hand. ‘He was a good boy, a great man.’

‘But why did he never tell me much about you?’ Lily asked. ‘And his parents? He just told me his mom died and that he never knew his father, but I know nothing more.’

‘There’s not so much to tell,’ Rosemary said, looking away. ‘It was me who raised Connor. Mother and father to him.’ She sighed. ‘His father ran a boatyard in Cape Cod. Not too far from you, I believe?’

‘Oh my God,’ Lily said, as the impact of one more secret swept through her. Was the whole reason she had ended up with Connor because he had been looking for his roots?

‘But you see, his dad never knew about him.’ Rosemary shook her head. ‘Connor told me he got cold feet. Afraid his father wouldn’t want to meet him.’

‘I wish he’d told me,’ Lily said. ‘It’s so sad. And what about his mother?’ she asked, hesitantly, aware it must be a sensitive subject. Poor Rosemary, to have lost both her daughter and grandson.

Rosemary’s face dropped. ‘Poor Niamh,’ she said, her voice flat. ‘Families should stick together when bad things happen to them. But ours fell apart.’

Rosemary’s words hit a nerve for Lily. ‘I’m sorry to hear that,’ she said. ‘The same has happened back home, since Connor was drowned.’

‘How’s that?’ Rosemary asked her.

Lily exhaled. It was easy to talk to Rosemary. ‘You know I said Connor was only covering for me on the boat because I had an appointment with a fertility specialist that day? He should have been at home. It was his day off. And… I guess my dad forgot how inexperienced Connor was.’

As Lily explained to Rosemary how her family had been split by Connor’s loss, she realised her anger was no longer lodged tight in her body. She didn’t know why, but it was gone. When she thought about her father now, her main emotion was one of concern.

‘Like I told you, there was a big storm and my dad didn’t turn back in time,’ Lily said. ‘If my dad hadn’t tried to carry on, Connor wouldn’t have got tangled up in the lobster trap line. He wouldn’t have gone overboard.’

Rosemary was seated opposite her on a floor cushion, her legs crossed and her head tilted, listening intently. Lily pressed her hands together, and Rosemary closed her own hands over hers. Lily could see the tears wavering in her eyes.

‘Now my dad’s being accused of seaman’s manslaughter for Connor’s death. He could face up to three years in jail.’

‘Oh my goodness,’ Rosemary said, in astonishment. ‘But surely it was an accident?’