The Boatman's Wife(72)

‘I know why you needed the money, Niamh,’ he said in a low voice.

She turned around, shaking her head. ‘Don’t tell Mammy,’ she whispered.

‘Ah God, Niamh,’ Brendan said. To her surprise, his expression was kind.

‘He never called me. Jesse. It was just a fling to him, clearly,’ she confided.

‘But Niamh, have you really thought this through?’

‘Of course I have,’ she said with conviction. ‘I’m not ready to have a baby. Not on my own.’

‘But your mam would help you,’ Brendan said. ‘You’ll not need to worry about money. Me and Dad will help you out.’

‘That’s good of you. But this is what’s right for me.’ Niamh put her mug of tea down. ‘You can’t give me handouts. What would Deirdre say?’ She couldn’t keep the bitchy tone out of her voice.

Brendan pushed the red curls from his forehead, a deep flush reddening his pale freckled cheeks.

‘Sure, Deirdre and I broke up weeks ago. Just after the road rally. Haven’t seen her since then.’

‘But…’ Niamh shook her head. ‘She said that you dropped her to mine, four weeks ago.’

Brendan frowned. ‘What? Deirdre came here?’

‘Yes, she turned up late at night,’ Niamh told him, seeing surprise in Brendan’s eyes. ‘Brendan, did you not know?’

‘No,’ he said, looking annoyed now.

‘So, you didn’t know I had to drive her to South Armagh, with a load of explosives in the door panels of my car?’ Niamh hissed, her body beginning to shake at the horror of the memory.

‘What the fuck?’ Brendan said, looking furious. ‘I told her you were strictly for pickups down south! You weren’t to cross the border. The bitch!’

‘Well, it’s done now,’ Niamh said, crossing her arms. ‘I don’t want to think about it again.’

‘I’m sorry, Niamh,’ Brendan said, and he really looked it. ‘She was clearly trying to get back at me.’ He paused, his expression lifting. ‘But then again, you did it.’ He smiled. ‘I’m proud of you.’

‘Don’t be,’ Niamh said in a harsh whisper. ‘I was terrified.’

They stood in silence for a while. ‘Look, I’ve got to go,’ Niamh said, tipping the rest of her tea down the sink. ‘I’ll miss the ferry.’

Brendan reached out and put his hand on her arm. ‘Niamh, you can’t go today,’ he said. ‘I need your help with something.’

She spun around. ‘For fuck’s sake, Brendan!’

‘Look, I’m not trying to change your mind, but we need to move some guns.’ His voice was calm, despite what he was saying. ‘We’ve a tip-off someone snitched.’

‘Can’t you go on your own?’

‘My northern reg draws too much attention,’ he said. ‘We need to take your car.’

‘No,’ Niamh spat. ‘I’m all booked in. I have to go.’

‘I promise I’ll bring you myself, tomorrow,’ he said. ‘We’ll change the ferry ticket, the appointment. I’ll make the calls.’

‘Please don’t stop me!’ Niamh wailed. ‘This is so hard!’

But the look in Brendan’s blue eyes was determined. ‘I am not the one stopping you,’ he said. ‘You have to do this with me today. We’ve orders.’

‘I don’t want to any more,’ Niamh whispered, tears of frustration rolling down her cheeks.

‘This is what you signed up for, Niamh,’ Brendan said, though his voice was soft as he took her hands and pulled her into his chest. She sobbed against him, letting all the disappointment, all the fear and anger stream out of her.

Brendan stroked her hair. ‘Look, you might still make your appointment even,’ he said. ‘We’ll do this job, and then I’ll drive us to Dublin. I’ll get us plane tickets and I’ll come with you.’

‘You can’t afford all that.’ Niamh stepped back, wiping the tears away with the back of her hands.

‘I can, I promise,’ Brendan said. ‘I’m going with you because you shouldn’t be alone.’

Niamh’s body sagged with relief. ‘Thanks, Brendan,’ she said in a small voice.

‘We’re family,’ he said, bending down and kissing her on the lips.

The years fell away, and she was back with Brendan in the dark woods, sharing furtive kisses, bonded by secrets and lies.





Chapter Twenty-One





Mullaghmore, 16th November 2017





Lily dropped Daniel off at the top of the laneway down to the Malone pig farm.

‘I’m sorry,’ Daniel said as he got out of her car.

Lily didn’t reply. She didn’t know for sure if Daniel would confess the whole truth about Eve’s death to Sean, but right now she wanted to meet Connor’s grandmother. The need consumed her. As she drove away from the Malone pig farm, she pushed away thoughts of Connor and Eve walking these laneways as teenagers, making love in hidden, secret places. Eve had been Connor’s first love, and she knew that was special, but Lily had been the love of his life. She had to always remind herself of this, hold it close and precious.