The Boatman's Wife(65)

Before long she was stuck behind a tractor, desperate as she glanced at her watch, realising she had long missed the time of her meeting with Jesse at the travel agency in Sligo. All she could do was aim to get back before the Sligo train departed for Dublin. She was going to have to go straight to the station, tell Jesse she’d go up to Dublin the next day, and meet him in the evening at the airport. She needed to talk to her mam. Tell her she was leaving.

It had to be the most twisty road she’d ever driven along, bend after hairpin bend. As soon as the road straightened out, a car would appear in the other direction and she’d have to hang back. With ditches on either side of the road, there was no place for the tractor to pull in for her to overtake it. By the time the road widened enough for her to finally speed past, glaring at the old fellow sitting up with his collie in the tractor’s cab, there was a whole line of cars behind her. She put her foot down and sped down the road – a little fast, granted, but she was running out of time.

The white Toyota bounced along the road. She’d already gone through the checkpoint, and even though the roads were in a worse state, she felt so much better south of the border. She pushed the surreal events of the past twenty-four hours out of her head. All she needed to focus on now was getting to Jesse before the train left.

At last, she was in Sligo. Niamh tore down the main street, grateful not many were about, and into the train station car park. She could see the train was in the platform, ready for departure. She had just two minutes. Niamh jumped out of the car, ran into the station and onto the platform, feeling dizzy and sick with anticipation.

Jesse hadn’t boarded the train yet. He was standing right by the door, his rucksack off his back and ready to load. As he saw her, she could see the confliction of anger and relief on his face.

‘What happened to you?’ he asked, as she ran up him. ‘I waited for you at the travel agency for hours.’

‘I’m sorry,’ she gushed. ‘Something happened.’

‘Where’s your stuff?’ Jesse asked her, noticing Niamh didn’t even have a handbag with her. Just the car keys, still clutched in her hand.

‘I need to talk to my mam,’ she said. ‘I haven’t had a chance yet.’

‘Have you changed your mind?’ Jesse asked, as the guard called at them to get on the train.

‘No! It’s just, I have to tell her,’ Niamh said. ‘But she’ll want me to get out of here.’ She paused to catch her breath. ‘Give me the plane ticket and I’ll meet you in Dublin tomorrow. At the embassy, to get my visa.’

‘I thought you’d bailed,’ Jesse said, as the guard yelled at them again. ‘I’m sorry, Niamh, I didn’t buy the ticket. It’s a lot of money, and I thought you weren’t coming.’

He took a step up onto the train.

‘Maybe we should wait, you know,’ he said, turning to her. ‘Come out in a few weeks. I can send you the money.’

Her heart fell. She could see in his eyes that he didn’t believe in her.

‘Look, get off the train now. We’ll go together, tomorrow,’ Niamh begged.

But Jesse stayed put as the guard slammed the door shut between them. She stood on the platform, looking up at him.

‘I can’t do that,’ he said, leaning out the window. ‘But I’ll call you.’

‘Please, just get off the train,’ Niamh said, panic rising. ‘We can go get the ticket now. We’ll still make the plane if we get the early train.’

‘You can’t run away on your mom like that, Niamh,’ Jesse said, all rational now, when it was he who had asked her to go in the first place. ‘There’s no rush.’

The whistle blew, and Niamh saw the guard jump on.

‘No, Jesse,’ she whispered, but the train began to move. She reached out for him and he touched her hand. For just a few seconds, the tips of their fingers connected, before the train picked up speed and Niamh fell back as she jogged to keep up.

She could see the goodbye in his gaze and she wanted to scream with fury. Come back! Don’t leave me here!

But in the next moment, the train had left the station and she was abandoned on the platform. They hadn’t even kissed goodbye.



He was gone. A spot of rain landed on her face. As she made her way back to the car, it began raining in earnest. The air smelt earthy. She looked up at the sky, letting the raindrops trail down her cheeks. She could see the leaves on the trees were already turning. Summer was well and truly over.

Despite her exhaustion, she didn’t drive straight home. In fact, she drove past the top of their lane, on into Mullaghmore, and down to the harbour. She sat in her car, looking out at the lines of rain and the moored boats. Remembering Jesse in the sailing boat, the day he’d taken her out.

She closed her eyes, conjuring up his scent and touch.

It felt impossible to consider she would never see him again. She clutched at a tiny bit of hope. Maybe he really would send her the money for a ticket and she could go out in a few weeks. It wouldn’t be so rushed, and she could ease her mam into it. Niamh was worried about her depression.

But in her heart, Niamh knew Jesse wouldn’t be sending any ticket money. She had seen the goodbye in his eyes. He had lost faith in her when she’d stood him up at the travel agency.

She bit her lip, pushing back the tears, then reversed and turned the car, heading back towards home. As she turned down their little laneway, she began to feel dizzy again, like she had in the train station. It was no wonder – she hadn’t eaten anything since the night before, and she’d had hardly any sleep. She’d been driving constantly for hours, and her stressful experience with Deirdre was bound to have had a big effect on her.