Second Chance(25)

“Good girl.” Nate clipped the lead onto her collar, and they set off. “I need to keep her on the lead in town, but once we get onto the footpath I can let her off.”

They made their way through the streets of Dursley, a small town on the edge of the Cotswolds. As the houses thinned, the road got steeper, and soon they reached the start of the footpath.

“Right, Jess, here you go.” Nate let her off the lead and she rushed off happily, stopping to sniff things every few seconds.

“How’s work going?” Nate asked. “Surviving your first week okay?”

“Just about. It’s a lot to take in, but I think once I get the hang of all the systems it will be all right.”

“That’s good.”

“How about you? Got many projects on the go at the moment?”

They carried on making small talk, keeping to safe topics like their work and families. Nate’s tension mounted as they climbed the steep hill.

He slowed his pace; noticing Jack was getting out of breath. “Sorry. I’ve always been a fast walker.” He glanced sideways at Jack and grinned apologetically.

“I’d have been able to keep up a year ago, but I haven’t been looking after myself too well.” Jack’s cheeks were pink, whether from exertion or embarrassment it was hard to tell. “But I’m cycling to and from Marlham every weekday now, so that should get me back in shape pretty quickly, I hope.”

“I reckon it will.”

Finally at the top of the hill, they emerged from the partial shade of the trees into beautiful sunshine. Nate could feel the faint warmth of it on his cheeks even though they were barely into February.

At the weekend there would be lots of other walkers around, but today they had the hill to themselves. They walked mostly in silence until they reached a bench that looked out over the view. It was spectacular, the towns and villages nestled in the valleys between the peaks of the rolling, green hills.

“Isn’t it gorgeous?” Nate said.

“Yeah.” Jack leaned back, hands deep in his coat pockets. “It is.”

“I guess this is one of the good things about being back here. I missed the countryside when I lived in London. Urban green spaces are beautiful in a different way, but for me they can’t compete with this.”

“Do you think you’ll stay here once Cass finishes school?”

“Maybe.” Nate shrugged. “There are worse places to live.”

“I suppose there are.” Jack smiled. “It’s not so bad being back here for a while. But I wish I had my own place. My parents are already driving me nuts.”

“Me too. I mean, I actually get on pretty well with my mum these days. But I’d rather live alone once Cass leaves home.”

Silence descended again.

Nate sneaked another look at Jack. He was jiggling his knees and as though he could feel Nate’s gaze on him he turned his head and their eyes met.

“Do we need to talk about what happened on Saturday?” Nate asked.

Jack raised his eyebrows. “I thought you wanted to forget about it?”

Nate snorted. “Yeah. Well. I tried. Not sure that’s working out too well for me. How about you?”

“Nope.” Jack’s lips quirked in a wry grin. “It’s been on my mind too.”

Deciding to stop skirting around things, Nate asked, “Why did you kiss me?”

“Because I wanted to.” Jack shrugged. “It was a spur of the moment thing, as these things often are. The conversation we’d had, the mood between us. I guess maybe I misread the signals but I thought you wanted it too.”

Nate looked down at his hands. There was a loose thread on his glove and he wanted to tug on it, but was afraid it would make the hole bigger. “I did, but….”

Jack didn’t try and fill the pause with words. Instead he let his leg swing out, bumping Nate’s knee twice with his own in a silent prompt to keep talking.

Nate took a deep breath. “I guess I was worried it would be a mistake. That we might regret it and it would make things awkward between us.”

“So a bit like this then?” Jack’s tone was dry.

“Yeah. Only worse.” Nate raised his eyes again and found Jack staring at him intently. The winter sun lit his eyes, turning them into chips of blue that matched the sky. Knocked sideways by longing, Nate thought maybe he’d been crazy to turn Jack down regardless of his reasons. Even if it never came to anything, having some good sex with someone he’d always fancied would be better than nothing. He was a grown man now; surely he could keep his feelings out of the equation and have some fun with Jack.

“You’re probably right,” Jack said. “We have a lot of history. We were good friends once, and I think we could be again. Perhaps it’s best if we stick with that and don’t throw sex into the mix.”

Even though Jack was echoing Nate’s gut instinct, Nate couldn’t help the thump of disappointment.

“Then again, a lot of people manage it,” Nate said.

“Manage what?”

“To have both. Sex and friendship.”

Jack frowned. “You mean like a friends-with-benefits kind of deal? You’d want that with me?”

Nate shrugged, trying to look casual although his heart was beating as fast as if he’d just run all the way up the hill they’d climbed earlier. “Maybe? Yeah I guess I would. If you’d be interested in that?”