Second Chance(24)

“Oh, hello… Nate,” she said carefully, the brief pause before his name painfully obvious.

Nate forced his lips to comply and return the smile. “Hi, Mrs Redford. I’m here to see Jack.” She obviously hadn’t been warned he was coming.

“I think he’s in the bathroom. Come in for a moment.”

“Actually my boots are pretty muddy, so it’s probably best if I wait out here. I’m sure Jack won’t be long, you should close your front door to keep the heat in.” It wasn’t an excuse. His walking boots were caked with dried mud.

But she left the door open and went to the foot of the stairs to call, “Jack! Nate’s here for you.”

A door banged upstairs and Jack shouted, “Oh sorry. I’ll be down in a sec.”

Mrs Redford turned to Nate again. Her gaze flickered over him in a way that made Nate uncomfortable because he knew that look too well. It was the look of someone trying to peer through the filter of testosterone and seek out the old version of him.

Nate cleared his throat. “So, how are you and Mr Redford these days?” he asked in his deepest most masculine voice. His voice rarely betrayed him now, but sometimes when he was excited or amused the pitch would pop up and the feminine inflection he’d worked hard to eradicate crept back in.

“We’re very well thank you. Enjoying our retirement—although sometimes it feels like we’re just as busy as we were before.” She gave a nervous laugh.

“Ah yes. My mum’s looking forward to retiring next year.” Nate shuffled his feet on the gravel, trying to think how to keep the conversation going.

They were saved from their awkwardness by the heavy tread of Jack’s feet on the stairs. He emerged at the foot looking a little flushed saying, “Sorry, sorry. I didn’t mean to keep you waiting.” He smiled at Nate, and Nate’s heart skipped a beat. Jack’s scruffy beard was trimmed right back to a little dark stubble, and it showed off the sharp planes of his face to perfection. It was hard for Nate not to stare helplessly at him.

“It’s okay. I was early anyway.”

“Mum, you shouldn’t have left him on the doorstep. It’s freezing. Come in while I put my shoes on.”

“I did ask.” Mrs Redford sounded affronted. “But she preferred to wait outside.”

Nate winced. The wrong pronouns were barbs in his skin. It was rare for him to hear them these days, but they still stung as much as ever.

“He,” Jack said curtly, before Nate had decided whether to say anything or let it pass.

“Of course. I’m sorry.” Mrs Redford flushed. “Sorry, Nate.” She met his gaze and her contrition looked genuine.

“Don’t worry,” Nate said. “It takes a while to get used to it.” The platitude tripped off his lips. He hated that he always ended up reassuring people who misgendered him, as though he was more worried about their discomfort than his own, but it was automatic.

“Well, I’ll leave you to it. See you later, Jack. Bye, Nate.” She hurried away into the living room, pulling the door shut behind her.

“I’m sorry about that,” Jack said, approaching the door.

“You have nothing to be sorry for. Thanks for correcting her.” Nate smiled and Jack’s face relaxed into a grin.

“Anytime.”

Jack got some mucky-looking trainers from a rack by the front door and stooped to put them on. “Let’s go. I’ll tie them in the car.”

Jess greeted Jack with a friendly woof as they got into the car. Tail wagging; she pressed her nose up against the grill that stopped her jumping over into the back seats from the boot.

“Hey, girl, how are you?” Jack asked. “I’ll give you some attention later, I promise.”

“Once we get there she’ll probably be more interested in running circles around us and finding rabbits to chase.” Nate chuckled.

“So, where are you taking me?”

“I thought we could walk up Cam Long Down, maybe take in Cam Peak too. Do you know them?”

“The names ring a bell. I might have gone there with my parents once… years ago though.”

“It’s about a half hour drive; that okay?”

“Fine.”

“Want to put some music on?” Nate asked as he pulled out onto the road.

“CDs? Or we can use my Spotify if you want?” Jack asked.

“Not in this car, it’s too old-fashioned for that. You’ll have to make do with my CD collection.”

“Good thing it’s decent then.”

Jack played DJ as Nate drove, changing discs frequently to pick out favourite tracks for both of them. They stuck to the topic of music, but Nate’s tension grew. With Jack beside him, his hands felt clumsy on the steering wheel, and he was uncomfortably aware of their proximity. He couldn’t stop thinking about their kiss, and wondered whether Jack was remembering it too.



“Okay, Jessie. That’s enough,” Nate said sternly.

Jessie had her paws up on Jack’s thighs and was doing her best to lick his face while he laughed, patting her black-and-white head, and stroking her ears. “She’s adorable.”

“Adorable, and disobedient. Jess. Sit.”

Clearly recognising Nate’s tone as final, Jessie dropped her front paws to the ground and sat, looking sheepish.