Rebound (Seattle Steelheads #1)(84)

“It’s not that,” she said with a shrug. “You just seem like you’re really upset about it. More than you were about Marcus.”

I wasn’t sure what choked me up more—that she was exactly right, or that I’d been wearing it on my sleeve enough for my kids to notice in the first place. “Breakups aren’t easy. They never are.”

“True. It sucks, though. Seemed like you really liked him.”

“Yeah.” My shoulders sagged. “I did.”

More than I probably should have.

Christ. What do I do now?

*

Claire wasn’t the only one who’d noticed. Laura had caught on the day I’d left Asher’s for the last time. Valerie had caught wind of it, probably from one of the kids. Even David had asked about it.

I did the best I could to deflect the conversations. I didn’t want to talk about Asher. I didn’t want to think about him, but I couldn’t stop thinking about him, so at the very least I could stop any conversations before they got off the ground. If we all quit talking about him, maybe I could get him out of my head and move on.

And maybe I could adjust my patrol routes and my commute so I didn’t drive past the stadium anymore, because that forty goddamned foot high picture of his face between Kelleher and Wilson on the north wall wasn’t helping at all.

Tonight, as I left work, I carefully did not look at that picture and just focused on heading home. I didn’t let myself think too hard about how much I wished I was getting on the freeway going the other direction so I could take the I-90 bridge to Mercer Island. I didn’t have any reason to go to Mercer Island anymore, though. Not even if the Steelheads were in town.

I’ll get used to this eventually. I have to.

Hell, why not? I’d gotten used to combat nightmares (sort of). Why not this too?

With my heart heavy and an invisible weight on my shoulders, I took my usual onramp and headed for Lake City on autopilot.

And when I pulled into my apartment’s parking lot, I was greeted by an unexpected sight: Laura and Valerie, standing beside Valerie’s car and watching me pull in.

I parked and got out. “Uh, hey. What’s up?”

Val nodded toward Laura. “We wanted to chat with you. Assuming you have some time.” The look she shot me said I’d better rearrange my schedule and make some time.

Eyebrow arched, I glanced back and forth from my partner to my ex-wife. “Is this an intervention or something?”

“You can call it whatever you want.” Laura gestured at Valerie. “We call it two women who know you, who can see when you’re being an idiot, and who are going to make sure you pull your head out of your ass.”

I blinked. “Has anyone ever told you how diplomatic you aren’t?”

“Pretty sure it came up during my last review.” She pointed at my apartment. “Should we go inside?”

“Uh. Sure. Why not?” I hesitated. “Are the kids—”

“Mahmoud took them out for an early dinner.” Valerie started toward my apartment. “We’ve got at least an hour or two.”

“You two really thought of everything,” I muttered, and followed them up the stairs. As I unlocked the door, I said, “Anyone want coffee?”

They both said no. Instead, they sat down in the living room—Valerie on the couch, Laura on the recliner. I took the other end of the couch, which put me right between them. Eyes flicking back and forth, I said, “Okay, this really does feel like an intervention.”

“Maybe it is.” Laura shrugged. “But we need to talk about Asher.”

I winced. “I’d rather we didn’t.”

“Of course you would,” Valerie said. “But Laura and I talked, and we both think you’re making a huge mistake. So yes, maybe this is an intervention.”

I sighed, leaning forward and pressing my elbows on to my knees. “Look, I appreciate the concern and all, but I’m just not ready for anything right now. Not when I can’t even tell my feelings for Asher apart from my feelings for someone who happens to be better than Marcus.”

“So what if you can’t?” Laura asked.

I turned to her, eyebrows up.

She twisted toward me in the recliner. “Seriously, who cares if that connection started because you’re both thrilled to be with someone who isn’t like your ex? Do you just sit around and talk about your exes?”

“No.”

“Do you think about your ex while you’re hooking up with Asher?”

“God, no.”

“Do you think about Marcus while you’re grinning like a dork and spacing out in the patrol car?”

I managed to chuckle, and I could feel myself blushing. “No, I’m not.”

“Right. So maybe what’s happening is that being with Marcus made you appreciate how amazing Asher is. That’s not the same as falling for Asher because he’s not Marcus.”

I avoided both their gazes.

“And don’t tell me you didn’t fall for him,” Laura said, her tone softer now. “Or that that isn’t the real reason you suddenly put on the brakes.”

I turned to her. “What do you mean?”

She tilted her head in Geoff, are you being dense on purpose? fashion. “Come on. You’re terrified of falling for anyone. I know you.”