Rebound (Seattle Steelheads #1)(87)

The door opened, and Geoff jumped as he met my gaze. “Asher. I…” He stared at me as if he had no idea what to make of me being at this doorstep. I hadn’t let myself hesitate or think twice about this.

So of course, now that I was actually here and there was no pretending I wasn’t, now the nerves and doubts showed up. “Uh. Hey.”

“This is unexpected.”

“I know. Can, um… Can we talk?”

To my surprise, he didn’t hesitate at all. “Yeah, sure. Come on in.”

I stepped into his apartment, stomach somersaulting and heart thumping. Nerves tried to get the better of me again, but a quick sweep of his apartment reminded me of the night I’d hung out here with him and his kids, which brought back more memories of everything I’d loved and enjoyed about being with him, and anger took over.

I spun around and faced him. “Are you really going to give up on us like that?”

Geoff’s eyes widened. “Uh. What are—”

“For God’s sake.” I threw up my hands. “Yeah, our exes put us both through hell. And yeah, it’s going to take a while to get that out of our heads. But I like what we have way too much to let Nathan take that from me too.”

His lips parted, and he stared at me. This had all probably come out of left field for him, but I’d had a few days, a long flight, and a drive to stew, and there was no pulling it back in now.

So even though my voice shook, I wasn’t about to back down. “Here’s the thing. I don’t even know what a healthy relationship feels like. All I’ve ever known is flings in high school and college, and then Nathan.” I fought hard to hold his gaze. “Literally the only thing I know is that being with you feels better than being with any of them ever did. And it…” I had to force back the damn lump in my throat. “It feels a hell of a lot better than not being with you. Which is more than I can say about anyone else. That… I don’t know what that means. But it has to mean something. And if it means nothing to you, and you want me to go, then say the word and I’m gone, but I needed you to know that I want to give this a try. If we fail, then we fail, but I can’t accept giving our exes another win and walking away because we’re both scared.”

Geoff swallowed.

I was flagging, but I kept going, my voice quieter now, “You know me, Geoff. You know I’ve had the fear of God put into me. I’m scared to death to ask for what I want, or to tell someone what I don’t want. Just saying I don’t want something in bed is terrifying. But with you, I know it’s safe to ask. That’s something I’ve never had before. And it’s… In its own way, that makes this…” I gestured at both of us. “Coming in here and pouring my heart out and asking you to give this thing between us another chance? It’s got to be one of the scariest things I’ve ever done.”

His spine straightened. “Scariest… Why? Did you think I’d get… What?”

I tried again to force back that stubborn lump. “No, I didn’t think you’d do anything. Not like my ex would have.” My shoulders sagged as I released my breath. “I’m just not used to having this much to lose if someone says no.”

He held my gaze for a moment, as if he weren’t quite sure how to take that or what to say.

Then, to my surprise, he stepped closer, and he reached for my face. As the gentle presence of his palm warmed my cheek, he said, “If I’d known that, I’d have stopped you before you got started so I could tell you I feel the same way you do.”

“You do?”

He nodded slowly, a soft smile forming on his lips. “I’ve been kicking myself ever since I left. I just didn’t know how to tell you I wanted you back.”

I’d been so convinced he was going to say no and send me packing, it took several seconds for the words to sink in completely. “Really?”

“Yeah.” His hand slid around to the back of my neck. “Just because we found each other while we were still licking our wounds from the past doesn’t mean this isn’t right. And it definitely didn’t stop me from falling for you.”

Adrenaline was still surging through me, and it took a second to parse what he’d said. “You’re serious?”

“I don’t suppose you checked your messages before you came over.”

“My—uh. No?”

He lifted his eyebrows as if to say, Well?

Hands a little unsteady, I took out my phone. Sure enough, there were some texts I hadn’t read.

Asher, can we talk?

I don’t want to do this via text, but I need you to know.

I made a mistake. I fucked up, and I miss you, and if there’s some way to make this right, please tell me. Let’s talk.

If it’s no, say so and you won’t hear from me again. If you’re willing to talk, call me.

I lifted my gaze from his messages to his eyes. “So you… We were on the same page? This whole time?”

He nodded, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “Yeah. We were.”

“Goddamn.” I released a breath. “I really should have checked my messages.”

Geoff laughed softly and gathered me in his arms, and I sank into his embrace and closed my eyes. Muscles relaxed that hadn’t in… in I didn’t know how long. Since before I’d broken up with Nathan? Maybe.